What a beautiful day

The sun is shining
The birds are chirping

The surface of this beautiful earth is glowing
Radiating with beautiful life

When asked where I'll be in five years no vision appears
The little machine that makes dreams has lost its power
I'd like to rest some centuries but I've only got six hours

Maybe if I had a time machine
I could find a moment where I was truly happy
And live it
Over and over again

Where we were last night
I don't remember
All I know is that we had to go

Wherever we went
We didn't drive
I held your bag of rocks
The entire time

I think about you often.
I wish I were with you now.

I was with you last night,
But you weren't with me.
That's how it seems.
When I see you in my dreams.

Thick breezy air
Between the stars
Between here and there

Bright bright moon
Setting the rising sun's
Bright bright mood

You already know

Around the time that I was six
I took interest in ghosts
I chose then that they exist
Wanting to be what I called
A "Mummiologist"

Fascination of beautiful creations
Golden and blue
Mythological creatures who
Weigh your heart to the feather of truth

Pyramids that touch the sky
Drawings of peculiar eyes
Without the sense of time
They were here just yesterday to I
All the things they left for me to find...

Yesterday...

Lost sleep like the hours I lose in a day
Something like thirty or thirty-two
Could've probably multiplied that by two

But what it lead to...

The freshest perspectives I've ever been shown
In the upstairs of the place I call home
Watch my room transform into something unexpected
Trying to hold down the fear of the unknown
Swimming in open water
Like what's under my feet
Sharks are pretty scary like little demons of the sea
How could I not be afraid of the demons
The ones that come from me
Back and forth like a battle
Limit vs. infinity
Closer and closer
Until I shut down and finally go to sleep

Steady work
Steady pace
Steady income
Steady face

Yet
I'd give it all away
To be with a friend
Helping each other
To a higher place

There's nothing like the stillness of night
To bring balance to my body and soul
The moon glows with radiant waves

I stand in adoration
Out in the cold

The snow falls into my feet
With the sound of windchimes
Making music of the street

What is real anyway

We like to feel down
It's the only time we ever truly feel anything

Left foot, right foot
Held close to me
Gracefully we move

The dance of our time
Is like never before
We practice so often
Rarely ever on the dance floor

It's mostly with words
On little phone screens
Wondering if what I said
Painted the right scene

I step
You step
Next step
Who's step?

No two people
No two paths
No, they are never the same

Is it then
So crazy to think
That maybe my person
On my path
Can not exist happily
Alone

A flood runs down my wretched spine
So many toxins
And wasted time
Flushed on out
Of this brain of mine
Here it lay on this little phone screen
All this blackness
Shimmers with colors I've never seen

The end of a year
The beginning of the next
And all the events
That between interject

Silly party people and silly party games
Drinking until
We forget people's names
But yours will always remain

It's been a mural upon my brain

So it seems
The color of my ink
Is to be shown again
Under natural light

The canvas of 360°
With no start and no end
And all the twists
The sharp bends

I color every corner
With the tip of my felt pen
Now that it's back
And I can feel again

Is there a warranty for my brain?
This one's broken and it's driving me insane.
Where oh where can a new one be claimed?

If I can't replace it, I guess I'll get it fixed.
All of its wires seem to be in a mix.
Leaving my body in unrelenting twist.

The circuit to my lungs just doesn't work,
I can't breathe when I fall asleep, mentally that hurts.
Please can you fix my brain?
I need my breathing back or I'll be in the back of a Hearse.

I
Don't
Know
****

I don't believe in conventional ends, and there may be ruins, but ruins only stand to be seen as a symbol of something that was once grand

In order for one to reach their fullest potential,
Must they first know what that is?

Our paths may be different
We may go different ways
But I'm here to help you
I'm here today

I don't write here often
Anymore
But I felt a need to spread the seed
To say that
You're not the only one
Who's trying
To find peace

Is it natural?
To be afraid of the dark?

Let's say perhaps,
You were to take a child,
Young,
Innocent,
And sweet.

Made a world for he,
Or she,
Completely comprised of darkness,
Would they live a life,
So full of love?

If so,
If they learned to love,
The only life they know,
With no fear of what many do,
What would happen,
How would he,
Or she,
Feel being taken to a world of endless light?

The world
Right here
Sits so close
To the next
Maybe we can't see it
Maybe to some it doesn't exist
To some neither this world does
And neither does the next
But like a lover
The good ones with their hands out stretched
Be careful
The hand you hold
May be no lover

Writing to pass the time
Ends up being always writing all the time
Constantly working on my mind
I love machines but not the grind

A little love
And elbow grease
Is all this body
Really needs

And yet
My hand is outstretched
Knowing I'll touch nothing
But darkness

I will give anything
To see it again
To see the way
You light up the dark

There's an question in my head
The answer is always whispered back
Always no

Love is consistency
Knowing what's right
And settling for nothing less

Not giving up
Not humouring a fallacy
Or cradling a lie

It's a battle always
But the other side of love is never the same

A state of constant change
And when it's at its weakest
Is when love can then take over

I've been bit by the snake
Feeling the toxins enter my vain
Taking the path straight to my brain

My stomachs turning and turning
I'm in pain

Anxiety growing like a tree
Through nerve endings in my body

Brain like soil
Holding its roots

A skull like concrete
Begins to crack when they go too deep

Branches reach out and leaves grow from me
Casting a shadow onto my body

What is it when I write
Just plain words
From left to right

Connecting to your inner dictionary
Translation adds up the equation
Plain words, ordinary

Paradigms shift
These thoughts flow
A picture in my head
To you shall go

An apples skin
To cover the sweet meat within
Sanguine as a murderous sin

Polished to a shine
A red mirror for those who dare
To stare upon themselves

Teeth sink inside

And an image into your mind

Inside machinery lies
Grey metal gears of all size

When everything is aligned
And all is right
They slide past another
Each tooth holding on to the other

The gears inside my machinery however
Could be in a condition much better

Bent and broken
Some circuits don't turn
Grinding and grinding
For relief they yearn

The grease that allows gears to slide
Should be maintained
There should be no grind
No grease should be as black as mine

But black can look alright
On a backdrop of white

When I press a page
Against my gears
The most beautiful patterns
Tend to appear

I've got that peddle to the metal
Hear that engine roar
My foot pressed hard against the floor

It's all wasted
I'm in neutral

I've got the strongest mind alive
Feeling feelings like no other would
So deep
So deeply misunderstood

It holds so tightly on everything
That means good greens
And bad things

There's no brake peddles to be found
All I can ever do is let off the gas and slowly slow down
Until I end up in neutral
With my foot to the ground

Live it up
Inside the greenery
Let the light shine down on all the canopies

One great garden grown from the mind
Too thick to let in any sunshine

Dry it up
Burn it to the ground
Leave it for the other side to be found

Everything around now burnt down
The fire smolders and embers surround

No mercy
From the sun
That place where we've all come from

All that energy down to a burnt land
Will soon turn it into orange and red sand

Breathing in
Hoping not to choke
On the smoke greenery had stoked

The other side has come alive
Reaching through where worlds collide

Rainclouds
Appear in the sky
And an angel begins to cry

Something about the energy tonight is right
As if my mind tonight has given up its fight
And chose to exist in harmonious trinity
Bringing a feeling like white light

On this day today
I am a sun
Sending rays of a feeling to you
To brighten a possible bitter mood

I'm reaching my hands toward the dark
Lighting them with my spark
Lighting them with all I am
And with all I have

It brings me joy to see
Another smile when they see me
I ask of you now
Exist in creativity

Unique is the structure of every mind
But without light we would all be blind
Take a moment to stare into a sun
And understand it isn't the only one

There's a feeling I find
When I'm low
Or when I'm high
Way deep back I my mind

I feel energies
Pull down from the sky
And reflect from my middle eye

My body is here and very aware
But the human things that I don't often share
Evidently bring me to believe
Some part of me is unique
An alien here to this land
Watching planet earth crumble to sand

But that's my job and my mission here
I know the beauty and the potential of our great land
I've been there I held my heart in my hand
But so easily it was knocked to the floor
By people who have been taught to be emotionally poor

The beauty of such a reversible mind
Is understanding people in hell and heaven are blind

They do not know the other side
Claiming their way is the only way to survive
I exist on the very thin line
The one we happen to call time

I've been around the sun
More times than I have fingers and toes
I've experienced the beauty of spring
The heat of summer
The calm of fall
And the stillness of winter

Altering the small chunk of earth that I occupy
Slowly building it higher
Complimented by times of digging it down
Constantly moving from states of progression
To times of regression

This time
I leave you behind
I build up the earth
And strengthen the mind

What the hell am I doing
What the hell do I care
I'm just wasting away
In my computer chair

I had a dream
Last night in my sleep
I was with my ancestors
In a place that gave me the creeps

All around me yet intangible
I knew they were there
In the mausoleum
The air smelled of fear

It wasn't a nightmare
I didn't wake up in sweats
But I did have my time
I lived among the dead

What the hell am I doing
What the hell do I care
I'm just wasting away
In my computer chair

Thoughts last night I would rather not repeat
Lead me to dreams I still remember from my sleep

Places from when I was a boy
Surrounded by my childhood toys

Alone in my room as I once was
Alone in my room as I still am

The sun shines through the window
I can feel the moment as I watch everything glow

Hidden meaning within my words
Every word you read
Like a window without blinds
People outside can see

Maybe you have to look harder
Everything seems so lonely

I envy the earth and her seasons
Summer, fall, winter, spring
So systematic, and nearly predictable
From one to the next, she flawlessly go

How I wish I were the same
That my ups and my downs
Could be predicted So easily
Maybe in time, but ahead now I can't see

"Maybe this world just isn't right for me."
I say as I think that could never be
"Maybe if I cut this silver chord,
No no... I'd just find myself,
In another place,
Just as bored."

"Maybe I'd be just a bit less lonely,
Maybe I could finally focus,
And do what the others do and make money,
But I doubt that will ever sound fun to me."

"Maybe then I could be an artist,
But then again why can I not tomorrow."
Sometimes it seems I'm destined for sorrow.

Joy is a single moment
A happy hour upon your life
Maybe a few strung together
Viewed from such great heights

Pain starts from one moment
And injury lasts
No matter how high you find yourself
The fall will have the greater impact

Those few moments weaved
Into the fabrics of time
Are only held together by memories
The grips of your mind

The moments you feel
That don't feel good
Leave footprints on your body
They beg not to leave

Some days are just black and white
Greyscale, monochrome
Just plain
Vanilla ice cream

Other days are vibrant and astounding
Kaleidoscopes viewed through kaleidoscopes
Completely original and new
Mint chocolate chip

And for me it seems
There's no in-between

An old fire
Reduced to embers
Dark clouds
And a storm ahead

She came back to me
Arms filled with wood
A heart filled with love
A head aching with guilt

I have this fire to rebuild
And this storm to weather
But I can do it now
Because we're together

The sun beats down on mounds of desert sand
Overlooked, where a withered wooden windmill stands
Fixed with sharpened blade clock hands
Spinning wildly, over the red and orange land

Specs of white fall from the sky
Shreds from calendar binds
Covering the object of the sands
Like dirt over landmines

The hourglass is empty
As it sinks into the sand

Black rooms
In a lack of light
Lined by walls
Of clogged up pipes

Echoes and sound waves
Black water pouring on the gound
A sludge filled man-made cave
With still stench in its airways

Pasts come alive
Futures die

Lost in limbo

Reaching out to see
The markers on the trees
Where's the path gone
I left it to be free

Through a forest in perpetual night
Creatures all around
But none in my sight
No tools
No weapons
No light
No chance of a fair fight

This path I have chosen
Is now my home
I must build some shelter
Some fire and soon
I'll see the sun
A light in the forest
Brighter than the moon