I am almost a hermit
Chewed up and spit out like some perceived vermin
I almost had love but I just went on and burned it
Had I not decided to block it out, I could have earned it.

I am almost an alcoholic
Drinking throughout the day hoping to stall it
It helps to fit in with the jackals
But it hurts to be dishonest

I am almost out of the hole
Talking to people about sane things
Measurable things
And quickly walking away before we reach the shallow

I am almost sure
that we might all be pretending
I should have never gone the deep end
Everyone's a little selfish
Just try to grab a piece of your shadow
Let yourself embellish
How they crowd around you when
You treat everyone inferior
They've built statues of you
I guess I'll reach for the shadow too and be a little selfish
I'll grab on to that shellfish and we will be hermits.

Hello, my friend
Thank you for holding my hand
When I was just about to peel my skin
Which this itch resides within
Misery loves company
And right now, I feel like the cynic's cynic
It feels like there is no altar in this city
But the closest I can come to the sky is to
Find a hole and find solace in the "om"
Until the sun begins to set
And the people make their way home

There is no such thing as love
With faces blurred and you're love in white as a dove
Millions of years of unknown wandering
Trying to spread your seed like wildfire
Evolution favors those with dominating characteristics
And you think I'm the one?

Sure, I may be interested in you now
My heart flutters and I feel a rush
My lips quiver with euphoria
As we express our love for each other the only way we know how
But when it all dies out
And I grow tired of all your benign cute mannerisms
The way you project optimism
The way you dance like nobody is looking
The way you actually like to *******
The way you laugh at my jokes
The way you deny your cynicism to live
To live like a meteor can crash down any given day
The way I feel like I can spend my life with you
Taking pills and sticking it inside of you
until one of us falls over
The way you can either outlive me with laughter
or dying laughing
******* I'm starting to hate your laugh
Eventually my ego wants a mini-me to pillage the land

I grow comfortable and know nothing else
You too will grow tired of my being
The way I am sad all the time
The way I push everyone away
The way at moments I am a total goof
The way when I want to be alone around your friends, I act aloof
The way culture feels like a silly thing
The way it feels like a constricting ring
Where people visit a website to try to break free
I wouldn't blame you for leaving me  
Or wanting to write cringe-worthy poetry

So keep that white veil by your side
And hide behind it with your reasons to want a man
But as charming as the devious one
Or as creepy as the well intentioned-sir
We all have a way with words
We will lure you in with false hopes
Recently novel intentions even we don't know
But not me; I am actually interested in you
as I am with any woman whom I like
I'm just not the one
Just take it off and let's ****.

I can't seem to get a grip of anything
Except the feeling that I have finally found myself
Just a foolish feeling when I'm out of my shell
Day and night doing unfulfilling moves
For a city of ants synchronized in ****** dance

But when I look within, I see a glimmer of hope
In a tricky cavern of flooded hope
My spirit animal, a fish that gets as close
as swimming to the sun right before I am forced
to wake up

Back into your crummy ways with your ****** titles
and their unwinding praise
Back into a polka-dotted noose
Where I aim for a higher echelon as a goose
With a slurred honk drowned out by the baying of the wolves

Maybe give me a lobotomy
Dig deep into my head
To give credence to my words
Making life a little less absurd
Turn my brain inside-out
For my actions to be free of pain
Just give me a lizard-brain

Light Bearer in your cave