confessions of an infj:

THE LIVING PARADOX

there are no easy decisions... every choice is a debate in mind

actions are not simple actions...there are motives behind everything

our minds have no off switch so it is a constant inner conversation

we are both the strongest and most sensitive hearts all at once

you cannot read us but we know you better than you know yourself

our compassion is spilled for everyone until the limit is pushed

then, you see the darkest side of us... our absence of care

can't always figure ourselves out, yet everyone else is a solved puzzle

will understand your intents are desires the most, yet completely

misunderstood and alone

wants to understand how your feeling but will never open up

words
are the actions
of the soul

admit it
we've all messed up
admit it
we've all hurt people
admit it
you're afraid to let anyone know your human
AND that is what makes us human
so just admit it

do you want to know what my biggest turn off in a person is?

LIES

think about every problem you've ever had

someone wasn't honest

and you both know it

pain leaking
through the veins piercing
the edges of our existence
craving for a taste of lies
longing to reach out
and feel the sun once again
shine on this pale
broken soul

can a person really use
"love of my life"
more then
once?

I asked him if he wanted another bite of icecream

and he told me he wanted me forever:)

I'm not going to correct him...

slap me on a letter

seal me with a kiss

send me far away

give me one last wish

Isn't it funny?
How one minute you depend on someone like they hold the entire world in their hand?
How in seconds, you can't even look them in the eye without biting your lip in pain?
How at the end of the day the person whom the best memories were made becomes a wave of sickening nostalgia?
Funny...isn't it?

Sitting in the light
Craving for the dark

Hoping just to hide
All the feelings in my heart

Push them down a little farther
Till just the tips you see

But just wait until the suns up
All the ******* breaking free

It feels like there’s glass between us
Filled with pictures of our past

And the only way I see you
Is through the time I saw you last

It’s like a room that’s full of mirrors
Full of shadows and of doubt

Never seeing what you want to
Never truly getting out

Glancing at the moon
Feeling so alone

Watching all the clouds
Not an empty room

All I want is to be wanted
All I feel is just no feeling

Is the grass really that much greener
Or is there any point in seeing

A giggle in my heart
A stabbing in my mind

Can’t even explain my soul
What more is there to find

Blast the music louder
Cry a little harder

Hold me a little tighter
Never let me go

The more I watch you dance
The more I wanna cry

Two more things I wish I had
Two more and no more lies

Get out
just get out...
don't look me in eyes.
a night where things seemed perfect
a morning filled with lies
GET. OUT.
so eager for my entrance
so hasty to come back
you held me like you wanted me but then YOU THREW ME BACK
you tricked me like a child
and rocked me in your arms
I gave you every part of me
you broke down all my bars
I laid there with no doubts
no sadness
no pain
you wrapped your arms around me
to a MONSTER its a GAME
you have never given everything
AND MY GOD YOU NEVER WILL
cause you're too **** scared to miss out on all the thrill
too **** scared to finally open up
too **** lonely to believe in real love
admit it you are scared! you don't understand real love
you've been hurt and you've been damaged
so you've tried to rise above
you have never been so...vulnerable
so you took my heart and tossed it
no second thoughts
like something that's reusable
my mind was filled with questions
why
how
when
you never wanted words
just where they'd been
and that is when it hit me
just a "single night of fun"
I KNOW YOU
I really know you
so in the morning, you could run
when I woke that morning
instead of making an escape
NOT a WORD
not a sound
not whisper
nothing loud
GOD how can you stand there looking at me with those eyes and expect me to just forget?!
God I'm standing here screaming inside every reason I've ever loved
you and you're out here making bets
you crushed my soul like no one in my life has ever been able to
HOW?
how can a person make someone feel so loved and then act like they don't exist?
God, I don't understand!
so just get out
God GET OUT

oh wait... you already have.

held in place by
a single thread

masked behind
a blushing veil

painted over
colored red

stories told
to grow a tale

pain leaks under
my skin like ink

wake up young
enough to wonder

stained forever
try to blink

filled with pictures
hard to ponder

lost to soul
dark to mind

when I wake
who will I find?

Isn't it funny?
How the quietest moments scream the loudest?
How the silence is bursting with thoughts?
How at the end of it all... saying nothing says the most?
Funny...isn't it?

Two hearts
One beat
Three years across the sea
Once together
A storm to weather
Yet still considered "we"