I'm clapping my hands, congrats to you
Seems like you don't see that you're making a fool
Out of the beautiful boy I once knew
You're such a cheater, a liar, a schemer
She's your new toy, you couldn't be meaner
And her distasteful bikini couldn't be greener
Where did you lose all your dignity
Did she steal it and replace it with stupidity?
Whatever you need for publicity
I've never before seen a disgrace of such
Hypocrisy and double Dutch
But baby, flirts on the beach don't last much
How often am I supposed to pray
To the full moon to see you again
Over and over I do the same thing
Trying so hard to let you in
What's left for me to learn
My tan turning into a sunburn
The clock is ticking for my last hours
I wish I could someday again call it ours
Softly placed on her skin
A message without words
A sunny place to be in
And I hope it's not You who's with her
I made my way to Wonderland
But without You I can't stay
I just hope it's not Your hand
So close on her hand to lay
I would abandon Wonderland
To once more feel Your touch
But You with her would be too much
I'm praying please don't let it be Your hand
Storm after storm I've hidden
closing my eyes to the pain
saving my chest from the hardship
knowing there's nothing left to gain
But there you go again
moving to the rythmn of her sea
wave after wave you go pressing
deep into the rapture of me
Rest no more my dying ruin
sail on off to much brighter sun
ripple the beat of a thousand hearts
for in your waters I've come undone
It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.
Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.