Your name has always sounded to me
The way happiness feels,
The perfect shaping of words,
The most soothing movements of the mouth.

My stomach cramps up at the sight of you.
It does not hurt, no, you see:
It does not hurt at all.
Not compared to how I feel when I remember,
That you,
Once filling up my lungs with your very presence,
Making breathing all that much easier for me,
Still by my side on my exhale,
Is now out of sight,
Unfamiliar,
Distant,
Out of reach.

We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.

I have not slept through a night in the longest time,
I wake up in the middle of the night with you on my mind.

But I talked to you that night,
Comforted you when something didn’t feel right.

I went to sleep thinking of you,
And all 6 hours, my eyes didn’t move.

But my heart, oh my heart,
It leapt out of my chest.
Your fingers intertwined in mine,
A feeling better than the rest.

You held my hand,
Squeezed it tight.
Your love a feeling
I couldn’t fight.

I woke up then,
Devastated of the end.
But now,
I sleep longer and longer,
Hoping for the same dream again.

Although our love story is
8000 miles shy of
A happy ending,
You still fill my heart
With everything I’ve ever hoped to give you.
We will not let this bump
Stop us
From getting to each other.

i am full
at the sight of your perfectly shaped smile,
i am missing nothing
but I know to hold this feeling for a while.

the shape of your face:
every wrinkle, every bump I trace
just to remember how it feels,
your eternal beauty so surreal.

how could I ever forget,
the happiness you brought my heart.
how could I not remember
you: my piece of art.

i, now, am terrified.
i miss the touch of your lips
instead of the tears I cried,
i miss the touch of your fingertips.

will I ever feel this again,
besides in my dreams, of course?

with your pinky intertwined with mine,
our noses pressed together,
you ~were~ in love
and I ~am~ in love.
and you wanted to stay,
and I would have stayed.
now my stomach churns
at the fear of you falling in love with someone
who is not me.