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12.1k · Oct 2016
This time, last time.
Josh Overson Oct 2016
This time she may not come back.
This time I may not fight that.

You can't ever say I didn't love you or that I didn't try and I can't ever say that about you. Let's realize that.

Like you did last time, erase me from your life... smudge my name with your ***** looks.
And I'll just sit and wait, because I know you're confused. I am, strong enough.
I have faith in our friendship...
Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all, but lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall. -Mumford and Sons
1.7k · Aug 2018
Love Yourself
Josh Overson Aug 2018
Maybe you’ll feel it ooze from a blade
It might make you less afraid.
Maybe you’ll feel it release from your hands
Broken bones never stopped a man.
Maybe you’ll feel it dent in your skull
I don’t mind another hole.
Maybe you’ll feel it when you beg for more
Nope, you’ll watch her close the door.

A pill swallowed whole, a mind gone dull.
I’m alone and afraid, I can only pray.
To love myself.. once more...
Nevertheless love yourself
1.2k · Feb 2017
The Wrong Choice
Josh Overson Feb 2017
Me.
The learning curve,
Far below perfect...
Not worth it all.
You.
Just greatly appalled,
After you fall...
For the wrong choice.
Don't look at me like that.
980 · Jul 2016
Divine Romance
Josh Overson Jul 2016
I miss my baby girl.
The love of my life.
My wife...
I'm glad she's not going anywhere.
I'm beyond glad.
How lucky am I?
To belong to someone so lovely.
So beautiful and understanding.
Deeper than any ocean.
Capturing more than any wildfire.
With eyes of a mountain top sunset
I fall for her everyday.

I see God in us... I really do.
I thank him everyday for you.
   She has the glow of the Moon...
   Let me be her Sun.

How lucky are we to have this chance?
To have eachother.
In Our Divine Romance
You captivate the entirety of my existence. I live for the important things, like you, like ours.
Josh Overson Oct 2016
You were once...
I was once...
It doesn't matter anymore,
We can forgive ourselves,
For everything we missed
& Rejoice in our life,
In everything we've learned.

I do miss you,
I don't miss us...
I miss you.

Our friendship
I can fight for that.
If you meant it...

I can stand as brother with you.
While you stand with another.
As you my sister. & I, with another.
This time isn't the same as last time I know, but I am waiting strongly for our friendship. I can fight for that. If you meant it...
752 · Feb 2016
Stitching my Heart
Josh Overson Feb 2016
You starve a constant emptiness when your mind has to repeatedly force your heart to stop.
The heart-wrenching pain of a love lost.
A love unattainable, but pains just a thought.
750 · Nov 2018
Acceptance
Josh Overson Nov 2018
The attention ***** screams for redemption
Her blood shot eyes screen dream for attention
I’m not saying oppression just alittle obsession.
With a beat that cleats along ripped seats
She’s rhyming I’m selling a quick story telling
Last night, It’s like alcohol with no sway
And my mind has sense to fall away
Her bottomless energy lead astray, no hope dismay.
That a life can steam out acceptance...
I’m matching my heart right now,
All cut up, ripped and beaten.
And it’s no one persons fault,
So if it was it’d be mine
746 · Oct 2016
Hold Your Truth
Josh Overson Oct 2016
You didn't keep a single promise..
and that's okay...
I know you believed in your heart when you spoke,
I don't mind...
You taught me not to trust a pretty face and a cute smile.
Not to trust eyes you could get lost in.
Not to trust an idea.
Mostly....
Not to trust someone who sees you as, replaceable
Not to trust words left without actions.


You were hurt by so many people..
I just figured you'd know not to do the same to others.
It's hard me to say, I'm jealous of the way. You're happy without me...
706 · Jan 2017
You Ignite Me.
Josh Overson Jan 2017
One day baby...
You'll meet someone.
Who when you open to their love...
You just feel consumed by the power of it putting you into complete and total surrender.

And every other thing...
that you had ever lost,
Will mean nothing...

That's who you are to me...
Now we know, I'm not that to you.
This tears everything within my soul,
and I can feel my longing for death grow!
As my heartbeat slows!
nervously, I tip toe over dynamite.


That example...
Of such emotion in a single act of letting someone go.
So that they may love another.
The way you feel for them.

      ...a story, not worth being told.

But is held up by the man with such bravery.
For his fragile heart,
he drops...

Damning himself...

To internal depression.
An **eternal victim.
I have to take time to surgically remove every promise you've so carelessly casted.
690 · Feb 2018
Drugged Body Language
Josh Overson Feb 2018
Through our drugged body language,
Our bodies make conversation.

Taking every medication,
She requires no meditation.

If only you knew my motivation
Could we start a new relation.
Lit like a flame
My heart learned her name

Can we be more than what was described?
Overdosing on you, I was never prescribed.
I want to be with her everyday.
But I don’t know how or when to relay.
688 · Nov 2016
I Feel Time
Josh Overson Nov 2016
A new season I see,
With new lungs I breathe.
And with this heavy soul,
In parts and in wholes.
I cast above,
To God's great love.
I can't wait until I have wrinkles in my cheeks from smiling so much.
669 · Jan 2017
Priorities
Josh Overson Jan 2017
I don't know where your judgment lies...
Or where your priorities are...
But obviously...

You're never gonna stop disappointing me... *******.
Keep living in your dream, running around... one day you'll realize where you should've put your faith, hope, and love. You stupid idiot.
665 · Apr 2017
Caught
Josh Overson Apr 2017
Life would be so much easier...
If you hated me as I hated myself.
If you wanted to drown me as quickly as I submerge my thoughts as worthless.
I walk with a limp, and sold my soul to place my heart in vault.

That's not so easy to break,
Not saying it's all fake,
Sensations just put at stake.
Nerves cut.
Never pain over someone...
Never love over someone...
But pain still gets through,
And so do you.


She taught me to believe in life.
If it harms me
It harms me
It'll harm me
I'll let her in...
Am I scared of the pen because it writes without limits with a volume louder than my heart can beat.
Atleast... while it's locked and keys lost.
648 · Dec 2016
Jealously
Josh Overson Dec 2016
Your eyes
Your mouth
Your body
Your mind
Your heart
Your skin
Your laugh
Your soul

I'm jealous of it all...
forever & always...
I want it all...
forever & always...
I love it all...
I wanna tell the whole world.

I'm in love with this angel.
639 · Dec 2017
Pull Me Closer
Josh Overson Dec 2017
Why do I assume the worst from the best of people.
But the best from the worst of people.

You've only lifted me
When I've wanted to sink.
^
We can't let eachother drown again
And that's how I understand us.
I adore her entirety
But if I get any closer,
I'll become one with the motion,
Getting caught as the leader
In this is reckless dance.
And a colossal love
Born by our massive passion for each other
We could wipe the sky and cover the ocean...
It's exactly what I want
It's beautiful and bright.
But we have to wait...
^
*why isn't it enough that I want you more
We have something be jealous of.
I'm jealous of it.
615 · Oct 2016
Keep Your Eyes Open
Josh Overson Oct 2016
I'm to proud to speak.

I know this because I've been trying to say this for weeks.

I started so innocently with nothing to hide.

Now at every moment I look, for my shell to crawl inside.

I hate the feeling of loneliness, and limits I'm not supposed to breach.

It's a constant pain in my mind, on my side, it's a leech.

My greatest desire was you, and that's all I ever needed.

And it was all good and great... Until I realized, my wife's heart has  bleeded.

She spent her whole life dreaming.

Not of a boy who could save her from her feelings.

But of changing the world.

But then I came along,
And made it stop.
Your heart skipped a beat,
And you felt it throb.

I changed your heart I changed your desires.
Then you woke up one day
with that old renewed fire.

I tried to put it out
I made you scream I made you shout.
I never took the time to hear you out.
I only said, "I'm all you should need.
You're not a good girlfriend if we don't proceed"

I held you back, and I stressed you out.

With all the fighting I brought about.

I broke down when I realized the truth.

I may not be destined to be with you.

You belong to someone so much greater I know.

I must let you go.
To God, not just me alone.
I used to love goodbyes, until I met you. I could indulge in the sadness to help me feel alive... but the sadness of losing you, makes me feel dead.
604 · Dec 2017
Please
Josh Overson Dec 2017
Please, I beg.
I can't deal with another

You're my irreplaceable.
My favorite human being

But I'm replaced so easily.
*And I feel it pierce my soul
I practiced vows.
I wrote stories.
Imagined fulfilling them.

But they were ripped from me.
And just ******* drowned.
And I drowned with them.
Every night.
Pain and terror.
I'm sorry,
562 · Jun 2016
Death Inspires Me
Josh Overson Jun 2016
**** my thoughts before they **** me.

My heart is heavy,
My bones are weak.
If I trip right now,
I'd surely misspeak.

Is a fight worth the pain,
If after the storm there's peace
But a scar still remains?

Are we just the struggles we beat
Or also the ones that make us weak?
You Own Me, in the most beautiful way.
562 · Oct 2020
Chains Sink
Josh Overson Oct 2020
He love’s the way I think
He loves the way I speak,
Finding who I seek
Only desperate it seems,
When love’s lost it’s meaning..
My heart’s dark instincts
Chains sink
You’re lonely lifted high
Never failing You’re mighty
From words You made me
Knowing You’ll cover me
For the life you called me
My good You planned me.
Restitute the damage done by selfishness
561 · Jun 2016
To My Wife
Josh Overson Jun 2016
I'm not scared to open up to you.
I'm not scared to give you everything again.
I'm not scared to fully trust you.
I've done all of this.
But for some reason, now that I have...

I am scared.

And it's not all scared of you leaving me. In fact it's not any of that. It's the fear that I can't give you everything you want. Or that I won't be enough. Or scared I'll give up doing what I need to do, to give you everything I want you to have. It's a constant taunting doubt in myself. That I'll actually amount to something.
So when you ask me "what's wrong baby?" Just know, I'd die for you and still feel like I couldn't give you enough.
546 · Jan 2017
My love
Josh Overson Jan 2017
there's no way...
you love me more...
I'll spend my life proving you wrong.
I adore everything you are

       More than the indescribable way you make me feel...
       The way I'm constantly thinking of how to be perfect to you.
       How when I kiss you, I feel love surround me, as you breathe.
       The fact that I can't get you out of my head... and I don't want to.
       You're the only reason that I care whether the world and I still spin.
       *God I just want you with me forever

       You aren't allowed to leave anymore...
       It hurts not having you right next to me every second...

And then when you get back
it'll be wonderful

Because I want to take you.
I want to take all of you.
My biggest fear:
Do I make you feel stuck?
Do I take away your freedom?
Is that what you feel?

My goal:
Is to make you as proud of me,
As I am of you...
537 · Dec 2017
It's not fair.
Josh Overson Dec 2017
I'll never see daylight.
Once warmed..
Now swarmed with words that don't add up.
Like I'm trying to see what's left in an empty cup.

Fearing there's no door.
I'm begging for more.

But I'm faced with two demons.
Cornered and Alone.
I call them myself and my own.
It's not a if you don't want I don't want.
It'll always be I want regardless.
But time... is what we need.
I missed you.
531 · Jun 2016
Predestined in Love
Josh Overson Jun 2016
..It's twisted, thrown into the dirt and soaked in blood.
I'm sick.
I'm sick of my own words,
I'm afraid my thoughts will never be understood the way they we're meant to be when put into words.
You are the only vessel of such beauty and life that has ever been gifted to feel me..
Not physically but so much more...
Why can't I sufficiently portray the life you give me.
If you were capable of seeing my thoughts of immense love for you.
The way I pray and thank God for you individually at night before I slip into the next day.

You might just run away at how real I am when I say you are my everything, and my only.
If you're looking for a pulse and can't find it.
That's because she holds my heart at ALL times... Good and bad
530 · Dec 2016
What I've Learned
Josh Overson Dec 2016
You're not doing anything...
You can't wait for a perfect moment.
Pieces won't fall in place.
You need to choose what you love and never let go.
Don't be scared to make a mistake..
Don't be afraid to let off the brakes.

Life isn't a puzzle, that no matter what you do the pieces won't fit unless you put them in the right spot.

Pray and make a choice.
I've made mine.
Make yours, and then I'll tell you what opportunities I have set my mind and focus on.
This is news you do not know.

I'm terrified of how you're going to react to it... this will be the biggest choice of your life.
I really feel like I have no chance.
I might be joked at,
Feel like defeat.
But with everything I am,
I must give us a repeat.
But I believe, this is where...
everything is decided.
by you...

Live for someone else, not just yourself.
God will show you how.
. Live .
If you want me. Prove it.
And don't be afraid.
518 · Jan 2018
Bruised Thoughts
Josh Overson Jan 2018
I didn’t think I could hate myself anymore...

I’m sorry you fell for me.
But darling I love you so much.
Please forgive me.
Please...
Why can’t we just throw away all of our mistakes and leave together.
You’re all I want.
Seriously.
Just let me fight for you again.
I find a reason again.
I ask to much of you.
But let me work to win your heart...
even though I want it now.
Let me build you a crown
You are my sweet girl
493 · Dec 2016
The prize.
Josh Overson Dec 2016
You wait for a mind more mature...
Don't treat me like God.
Waiting to be old,
To finally be sold.
Your not interested in me just in what I've got.
You little thot, you can't prove your not.
It's your lost, I won't stay trapped in your box.
You can't bring me down with all
these thoughts.
Until I hit the top or slip on rocks.
I will not stop.

Yet I can't bring myself to leave.
It's so wonderful what we could be.
All you need is belief.
I'm crazy about you,
In every way to move.
Being pulled into you.

*Make moves instead of taking views of how they pursue.
I'm mad I expected
I'm mad I ever existed
I'm suicidal I missed it.
478 · Feb 2018
Dark Eyes
Josh Overson Feb 2018
I solidified into stone, I had no heart.
I thought I was alone, I met your spark.
The cold metal scraped the walls,
Creating friction inside the halls.
Where were we supposed to be?

Hoping to cover my hurt,
I stripped my shorts and shirt.
A little early to giveaway needs,
We have ties yet to be relieved.
I know I’m lost, so don’t look for worth.
I know it’ll cost, but so does rebirth.
You never saw my fake joy,
Never saw that I’ll always be an abused toy.
But couldn’t careless if your dark eyes were blind,
Your dark eyes found a way to sooth my mind.

I’m scared as hell...
“I know that this was hard to find,
But we need to wait some time”
The longer we we wait
The more you’ll see
That I’m not all that great
And I’m nothing you’ll ever need
I’m just gonna let you down too
I’m sorry
It’s all I could ever do

I hope to be there in the morning,
Every second adoring.
I miss your room,
Can we realign soon?
I have great hope for this flame.
I’ll befriend the frame.
I’ll meet change.
454 · Dec 2017
Separate and Separated
Josh Overson Dec 2017
They're are two different things.

I don't like it when we don't talk.
Truly... you prefer it.

Find something that's valuable...
That loves you, and shows it.
I thought I had..
I haven't forgotten what effort looks like.
Maybe you have darling...
I reached out and tried to help you when I thought you needed it.
Underlining an apology...

But I've lost my rights. I went crazy.
Just show me you want me to be there.
Don't like pride **** us.
I promise I'll never let that happen.
I miss you, with all my heart.
438 · Jul 2016
Suicide
Josh Overson Jul 2016
I get so scared sometimes...
So much I can not control through.
Worried I'm just a task on a list.
One that isn't there or true...
A list that only exist in my corrupted, sad, ****** up mind.
I fall defeated to an evil much weaker than what you conquer.

I am so proud of you darling.
437 · Jan 2018
I’m Not Worthy
Josh Overson Jan 2018
What is this Love,
Where I can break her heart,
Break her faith
Deliver her wraith
Show no demand
Give no grand
Fulfill no hand
And still you stand.
You reach out for me
My everything
428 · Jan 2017
my remedy
Josh Overson Jan 2017
Why is it...
When I'm mad,
Rage fills my veins,
As it pumps to my core,
And I can't think clearly,
With hatred infecting my mind.

When I'm sitting in my car moving no where.
Because I can't see through my eyes.
Scared that if I ignite the engine,
That I'm just signing off my life to death.
That this anger will not rest,
Until I've moved on to the next.

In all of this,
my remedy
is you...

A simple kiss
A simple hug
A simple call
A simple text
*A simple act of acknowledgement...
All the good
All the bad
All the confused times in our lives...

It's always clear to me..
I want YOUR LOVE
423 · Oct 2017
Depression & Obsession
Josh Overson Oct 2017
You ******* **** me
It's all I look forward to...

It takes every ******* thing me to hold back.
Every ******* thing...

And when she's out of sight...

I **** myself.
It's all I look forward to...

These blood soaked towels can't be used anymore.
**This broken life can't be fused anymore
I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough...

I really wanna die in the nighttime.
418 · Jan 2018
The Target
Josh Overson Jan 2018
Most beautiful,
Most Intelligent,
Most ****,
Beyond perfect
Like to the point.

I couldn't imagine anything better.
Maybe it's just to me...
But if it is or isn't.
I can't tell the difference.
All I know, it's you

And when I've said it.
*I've meant it.
***** that it's reciprocation was destroyed... but I can live with it.
I know what you're worth.
I would've gone if you had asked me.
411 · Dec 2016
I won't lose you.
Josh Overson Dec 2016
The desire in your eyes sets me a flame.
I feel animal instincts take over.
Your body becomes my gain.
Pounding, growling, you fulfill my dreams.
Kissing and loving, I'm tearing seams.
Don't mistake this as just a ****.
As if our attraction is just luck.
You're **** as ****, we all can see.
But the beauty inside you, only I believe.
I've learned no place is your home until you make it your own.
403 · Feb 2018
The Insane Fakes
Josh Overson Feb 2018
You lie to me just to use it!
You walk through me like I blew it!
You ask me, why do I change,
When I’ll lose it!
If you really meant it, you would show it! Not throw it, down the drain,
Like you did yesterday,
I’m going insane,
Like I’ve done everyday,
While you **** with the fakes,
You’re becoming the same,
That’s not my name,
I won’t touch your shame,
You **** with the game,
Of nothing to blame.
Your brain!

Is left in the dark and I’m not going back there.
I wish could lie but I promised I would swear.
That maybe,
I’m not meant for this...
And depression, doesn’t exist...
A blanket of mist,
You put on your lips...
I wish I had more patience...
385 · Oct 2017
Oh sweet love of mine.
Josh Overson Oct 2017
It absolutely *****
To be the guy that knows your worth and describes it with such insanity that he hurts himself.
Knowing/Hoping for the same.

I could bear through it all.
I will bear through it all.
We are insane to not
381 · Feb 2017
The Ultimate Gift
Josh Overson Feb 2017
I want to look into the eyes of child...
See myself in them.
Feel apart of them.
Giving life to them.
Knowing, we belong to them.

Continue legacies we created.
With beauty we donated.
From us... undifferentiated.
Saying finally... *we've made it.
They're gifts...
Not burdens.
365 · Jun 2016
Changing Currents
Josh Overson Jun 2016
You're not a brother...
You're an idiot.

You once held her perfect innocent heart, it didn't belong to you, but yet it was still given to you.
Over and over it was given to you.
You dropped and tortured it every time..
Just because it didn't feel right.
It didn't look as great as the other.
I'd say that's because you're blind.
You couldn't see the beauty that was silently screaming your name.
...Until it cut it's own vocal cords

You left her there.. Beautifully torn and waiting for a savior.

& all I can do is thank you.
I live for the important things...
Like you, And ours...
360 · Mar 2017
No matter.
Josh Overson Mar 2017
No matter what I do.
I can not have you.


But yet, I still continue...
Once again, thirst guides her eyes...
351 · Jan 2018
Your Host
Josh Overson Jan 2018
I haven't felt love anymore...
Much less being liked.
No one wants a deadbeat valentine.
-
I didn't think twice
Saying you were right
You weren't.
-
There's some core fault within me
I blame myself you see
For all of our mistakes
I'll hate me

Are you fueled by pain?
In love with my stains?
Hating a broken reign?
Loving I'm slain?

Your Host:

I MEAN?
Who doesn't want a broken, dead inside, psychopathic low life...

It hurts more than it should
The nothing I am.
I'd bury you I would
The nothing I am.

What if it was costing us both...
I don't want to miss the most...
Just being lost in your ghost...
There is nothing to boast...
Feeling overdosed...
I am, your host...
I hate you pretend not to see me
And I pretend to still be free
348 · Dec 2017
Got me missing
Josh Overson Dec 2017
I know you have a lot of things in motion right now that'll change your future.
And I love that.
Keep moving forward.
I'll meet you halfway.
Somewhere sometime.

But I know you don't believe in long distance.
Keep moving forward.
I'll meet you halfway.
Some other place, some other time.
You are time.
Invented, designed, defining divine.


I'll just hurt people...
343 · Dec 2016
Oh Darling...
Josh Overson Dec 2016
I'm not taking it how you perceive it.
Your weak mind is nothing next to what I'm conceiving.
I'm a ******* powerhouse with nothing to believe in.
I don't know how I'm still breathing.
You made me this way...
Don't deny it...


If there was something I should've said or could've done. Believe me.
I would've won.

It's not me, it's you.
You have so much left to prove.
I'm done, these issues that I addressed.
They're back, laying heavy on my chest.
341 · Nov 2017
Last One
Josh Overson Nov 2017
But every time that number goes up.
Anxious thoughts attack
My heart cries
And body dies.
While my mind just yearns.. to know the name.
I wish you understood
331 · Nov 2016
Sweet Poison
Josh Overson Nov 2016
Why do you hate me,
As I love you?

Why must you disguise your pains,
With love and lies?

Why have you torn my skin,
Just to watch me bleed from within?

I am done.
You have won.
You've had your fun.
now please...
Put away your gun.
Let me learn from where I have been.
325 · Dec 2017
Blinded
Josh Overson Dec 2017
I walk in this lie that I know the truth.
That I love the truth.
The only reality is I have been broken, I have been beaten, and I have given in.

I'm unsettled by you're ability to lie.
And I can't even control myself.


Blatantly... you hate me.
Undoubtedly... I love you.

And there's nothing I could ever do, to truly win you.

Leave.
Me.
Alone.

You have broken more.
But broken more of me.
It's truly, truly incredible.
I thought so much of you.
Thought you had changed
318 · Jan 2018
Slit Your Wrist
Josh Overson Jan 2018
I never wanted it to be like this
She knows no bliss...
Because I can’t give it.
Slit your wrist or run away quick.
Somethings ****** in my head,
I’m missing a bit more
I can’t keep score
But I’ll keep your core
And ******* sore
Not your body
But her ardor...
I can give you no reward my darling..
Just this cheap fervor
315 · Nov 2016
All is Given
Josh Overson Nov 2016
We all have been avoiding the simple truth.
That we don't deserve a single thing.
We don't deserve that watch or that ring.
We don't deserve that house or their pool.
We can't demand her heart or a king's rule.
We can't jump and expect to fly.
We can't predict when we'll die.
We are all undeserving.
Unapproved.
Undefined...
That choice is yours,
In how you live,
In what you love,
In when you fight,
In where you cry.
Forever ago... I made this choice.
- goodnight
314 · Oct 2016
"Not Enough"
Josh Overson Oct 2016
I can't let you go.
We would both be torn apart.
So far, so savagely.
That we'd only have one thing left to turn to for life.
...is that why this is happening
I don't want to delay the universe and inevitable death of all things.
But if it's a death of us...
I will fight, and delay.
For every moment, it's another battle I'll be able to look back on.
When we're older.
More mature.
And believe, I won that battle.
There's nothing I can't conquer.

You make me feel like a king.
I'm the one with my hand around the gun, I am not afraid. I am not afraid.
311 · Jan 2018
Silenced Heart
Josh Overson Jan 2018
Only reason I can’t seem to post more about you...
Is because you asked me to let you go.
I wish I didn’t have to.
I miss you, but all I’m doing is hurting you right now. And hurting myself.
I love you I truly do.
I think about you all of the time.
The hope of us still influences my decisions.
So don’t take this silence for death.
I will always stay
You mean the world to me.
*My beautiful anomaly
These poems I have stored..
Will they ever see daylight.
I’d rather never let go, than let you go.
I know I broke your trust, but I hope.
You’ll stay too
305 · Feb 2017
Dead skin.
Josh Overson Feb 2017
The remainder of my old self I brushed off my shoulder.
As I looked on forward.
Now much *colder.
And feeling quite older...
Not to put to much thought into it
Just live, and go with it.
Feelings might develop,
They might not, nothing to worry...
Let's enjoy this
.
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