Notes I found
Surrounded in sound
On a chair on the ground.
Created for purpose
Doubled its service
When I went to observe it.
Not only truth did it speak,
But heart and pain seeped,
Then later an aroma creeped.
Holding close what tickled my nose
I moaned and tried to close
What came from the notes...
I really hope you one day see this,
But one day when heartstrings play in ordinance.
Lord I thought what had been written was enough for you to read..
I thought my heart and soul aligned enough to speak..
therefore my mind had no need...
Exhausted I concede, Lord you know this..
Every time around countless people,
I want to quit, say **** it all,
f the world and my strife,
I’d rather just ******* end my life...
I wanna yell it at you... spontaneously cry in public, scratch my neck and run till my gut caves in..
I’m tired of hope
I’m undeserving, worthless and only for them do I find true value... God I hate me.
Seize me. Peace and nothing I seek.
I’m so tired of craving.
The way you made me.
Lies betray me
He love’s the way I think
He loves the way I speak,
Finding who I seek
Only desperate it seems,
When love’s lost it’s meaning..
My heart’s dark instincts
You’re lonely lifted high
Never failing You’re mighty
From words You made me
Knowing You’ll cover me
For the life you called me
My good You planned me.
Restitute the damage done by selfishness
Cold sheet on my eyes
Frozen in place
Hey! I see underneath
And yet fought against peace
Or I’m just weak..
...please forgive this one time I’m bored
Speeding past the sore fights
I idolize the lights
That’ve been long in gore
Finding a hole long dug before
. Let her stay
. I can only blame me
. And pay seas who fade me
. Thoughts of her evade me
. Own pressures invade me
. Like an evil vision
. Saying I’m best
. But born.. not left
. Holy nest
. And no other
. I’m poorly cleaver
...I’m no better
An ingenious kind of way
My brain only claims the to protest the faith
And portray the fame that I hate the same.
You and I, only His name
Know my brain
If you want...
Have all the same
As He who came
Died and raised...
*With who I am
What a scam ...*
What makes it okay to be angry?
I can never understand...!
Yet so blind sided with anger under truth with no perspective
.After I blind my eyes, you will see for me
When I close my lips, you will speak for me
As I cover my ears, you will hear for me
If I bind my limbs, you will move for me
The way maker, Jesus none greater...
Hold me when I’m slipping over the line
When I’m about to fall, and lose my life.
And won’t You let me put my heart in her hands
Know that I understand, to follow Your plans.
Where you’ll be shaping, and making me.
Now Bound to You, I am free...
Committed to discourage he says “hey.”
No reply from the deepest eyes
Better that I don’t think twice
They love the outside
The lies of suicide,
The cold knows sympathy
A place inside a place outside
Set in place when we die.
Why don’t they feel the same conviction?
What pieces are they missing?
Please steep our hearts in hot water,
We know our father,
Yet our blood doesn’t mix...
God I want it, but no it’s not time.
Not right?!Or no height in flight!?
But I can’t rest to invest.
Or just pray she’ll stay??
When grey lines define my eyes,
You never stay insight!..
Why hide from view..
Couldn’t you take a side..
Or run you have chosen?
With the lack of words being spoken
I will last long enough to hate you...
How can You set me loose?
Broken about no shoes
Yet no distance could find/hide you.
Over and over.. racing..
I’m worn and unsatisfied with this construction.
Lord give me patience, and peace to let go.
Unreserved for you..
What am I to do...
Walk anxiously straining for balance
Around what you know I reverence?
My chest tightens, core tremors
Not sure if from excitement or weakness
As it could be both, and I do my best to cope
At which hope assembles my attention for battle
At which point in time can I travel?
Regardless I surrender my case.
Humbled in place.
Lest emotions waste.
The breathtaking curiosity in her face.
If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we'll sing again a hundred billion times