Me.
No more hesitation,
I do what's best for me.
That's the end of the equation.

No longer will I be a supporting lead.
I'll become the main character in my life,
and finally start to see.
And just stop giving you the knife.

Out it comes -
the feelings, nerves, anxiety
You may catch but a glimpse of what I actually feel,
but I doubt it -
Even I only see the meal.

It's become second nature.
I don't even think anymore,
just to end up doing it more and more.
Someday I'll have to stop,
but for now, I'm kneeling on the bathroom floor.

Since I was littler,
it's always made me cry.
But it's not a luxury, rather a nessecity.
Thinking about it now,
I don't even want your pity.

I keep going and going,
not realizing the pressure manipulating me,
and that in reality - I'm suffering from a disease.
One day, I'll have to give it up,
but right now I'm too terrified to cease.

There was a girl.
She didn't know who she was.
The world didn't pass her by though;
She seized every opportunity,
got the good grades,
met the good people,
volunteered where she could.

It wasn't enough.
She didn't know who she was.
What happens when she leaves highschool?
When 97% averages no longer define her.
All the **** expectations and pressure,
has crushed her dreams so she is left lost.

Everyone expects her to go far,
to do amazing things,
to be herself.
But who the hell is she?
The girl thinks.
Constantly seeking validation for her ideas,
pushing herself to such extremes,
where she could do permanent damage.
What the hell is she going to do without all the support of other people?

She'll crash and burn.
We know this.
She'll work her *** off but never get anywhere.
At least thats what the girl thinks.
She's scared.
She feels like a helpless baby deer.
Nowhere to turn no idea what the future holds.

Who the hell is she.

All around me faces start to fade
The simple motivation -
no longer a factor in the equation
The most simple problem,
sends them running for the hills.

The times when 75% was low,
when kids had energy, passion, and drive,
leaving no choice but to thrive.
Are nowhere in sight.
So what happens in those hills

I can't keep waiting.
Wondering if, and when it'll happen.
I just can't.
So it's over.

I'm prepared to let it all go,
The pent up feelings,
the hurt, the hope --
you.
Maybe one day it'll happen,
but in the meantime it's eating me up.

Yes, I have feelings for you.
I will always love you.
But I can't hope for something,
that could ruin everything.
So I'm done, locking my feelings away.

I'll still look at you,
I can't help it.
But it won't be the same.
Even though you didn't know,
I feel like I'm losing a part of me.
I love you, I'm sorry.
It's over.

Broken pieces are scattered all around.
Shattered fragments of a joy-filled time.
If you move fast - you can avoid them,
hit the lone spot right where the floor is exposed.
But hopping around is another way of lying.

Do you keep you steady effort?
Or is it time to begin cleaning up the mess.
The more time builds up, the worse it gets.
The more subtle flaws stand out,
the more good times you start to forget.

It's the feeling you've reached the end.
Thinking back, maybe it  lasted too long,
but there's no going back now.
So what's the point of lingering in the past,
you've finished, take your final bow.

Talking last night it became clear;
you and I would not be simple.
There are not just bumps in the road,
but mountains that need to move,
for us to work.
It's more complicated than I thought.

I'd thought I was fighting for you,
but I might've been fighting against you instead.
I'm certain you didn't know what battle was happening,
that's for sure.
I'd thought I'd break it off with him,
and you'd be there waiting on the other side,
but it's more complicated than I thought.

There's something between you and her.
Something beyond me - which is hard to break.
You love her - more than I thought.
It was a fantasy I made up,
it could've become reality if I told you sooner.
I'm retiring my sword, and accepting my fate.
If we are friends, then I will be the greatest best friend,
and bury my feelings for good.
I've decided it's more complicated than I thought.