Jessica Stull

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

Weakness of the heart
Weakness of the mind,body,and soul
You’ve experienced all these things
Growing from this isn’t always so easy
But you’re learning to be stronger in your fight for sanity
“If there even really is such a thing”
Because it’s the things you let get you down, that’ll break you
Let them make you
The things that set you apart
They more so bring you together
I know you’ve had too many bad days to count
But starting now
I’m cursing them all out
To allow yourself to be destroyed by your own mind is the weakest fall and the worst lie
You are strong, and you are beautiful
You have such blessed days that mean far more than the days you may fall
Not every day will be a win
But you’ll never lose again
©Jessica Stull

A letter to remember

#believe #inyourstrength #believeinyourfight #liveforlife

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

Hurt will pass

It’s okay, I’ve closed the door
It’s okay, we don’t talk anymore
It’s fine, I’ve already walked down the line
It’s fine, the days grow warmer in my mind
I’m stronger living through it rather than wishing for it
I can’t always forgive nor can I forget, I’m not some stringed up puppet, I’ve been turned into the neglected pet
So weak I crumbled at your feet and wept from your deceit
But I’ve been saved and I’ve been freed; no longer do these chains bind me
It’s life, the way of it, the shape of it, the pain, and the pleasure of it
Calling out my name doesn’t mean I’ll come back running to you all the same
The leash I used to wear so proudly for you, has finally rotten in the decaying love I have for you
I’ve just learned to let go of you in the only way I know how to
I live beautifully through
Running and jumping freeing my heart like dandinions in the wind
I’m in love with this life that’s tragic, beautiful, and insane.
But perhaps the most amazing part is that I’ve finally found love for myself, through all my art
And I’m so happy to be living in this unexplainable and unpredictable world
I smile through my tears because I finally know I really do have friends here
And finally I truly realize that it’s me
That’s the key!
You have to love yourself before you can love and find love in this crazy world
©Jessica Stull

#oldthoughts #oldemotions #remember #hurt #will #pass

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

Rot

It’s funny how we cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands, is held in the other hand
We love to hate what we create or we fall in our own grave
We try to be wise and not give into disguise
However sly ones with a grin can trick you from within
Never do we have the right plan for escape or a veil of protection, like a cape
But we do learn from our mistake
The beauty of this play
Is it’s actually more like a game
It’s your choice if you’d like to play or stay away
In the end we all cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands is played by the hidden hand, this game can end
No more “play-pretend”
©Jessica Stull

When you put pride aside

#startingover #newbeginings #future #past #is

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

She’s not Dead

She shall flip the tables and ignore her hearts breaking pulse “It is you who have tormented thy soul
It is you and the demons who lurk behind
Digging at my skin
Burning with pain from within
The beauty within this tragedy, is I’ve been left with the art they carried
Most terrifying of my works, almost as if they’ve been left undone
But I’ve learned, that’s no art to live on”
A deal for a seal, to steal her happiness she’ll soon feel
To fight the evil under her skin
To finally surround herself with her own friend
Ah the relief is so much thicker and sweeter than the blood she consumed from her own self, her sister, her demon of the old her, her old friend
Who lurks behind still
But listen to this fill, the evil “she” lurks behind because the new her is so much ahead, she’s cut them down, but you’re not dead!
Cause really “she” is “I” and “they” and “you” she is all those things no one knew
That evil one in the back of her head, she’s been learning to shut out that voice raging within her head because
She’s not dead!
©Jessica Stull

#emotionalpain #innerstrength #fight #livelikeawarrior

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

I miss the Sun

Though today may be not sunny
I feel sunshine in my heart
I feel the sun and her warmth
As if only the sun gods could reach my heart today
Sending me many blessings though through small tokens and gestures from dawn of day
These clouds bear witness to how their mighty tricks and plots to scheme irony
Blocking though they may be my blessed sun from me
I see her shining freely lighting her way through the mighty fog of dismal days
©Jessica Stull

When I miss the sun, I try to remember she’s still there

#sun #shine #gloom #peace #strength #fight #livelikeawarrior

Jessica Stull Dec 2018

Water or Fire

As so much as water can preserve and fire to hide
Water when acting to decide, to melt the world and overrun the sea
As can it be
That fire wipes away what little remains of truth
Water can Indeed keep against the lengths of time.
But stay clear of too much water dear
For as much as you fear the fire, you may faultier
Would you rather burn or drown
I think I have still yet to decide what better plight to descend from the sky
Better yet to speak in tongues and wrap twisted knots inside my head
To ask such silly questions that thus only beg more questions

©Jessica Stull

This poem was inspired by a photo shoot in Central Park one day. I was sitting by a stream in a blue velvet dress, playing with the water. Check out my IG page to see the shot that inspired me. @jessica_stull_dancer

#lookingthroughamirror #trappedbyimageandthought #wtiteroflife #dancerofthought #mindwellness #healing