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Jerrad Johnson Jan 2018
We are pack
United as one, we attack
Nothing can stand before the wolf pack

A pack united is unstoppable
But a lone wolf is trivial

End to end, we ruled the map
If you thought you were free, it was only a trap
And if were satiated, we might even cap

But there was a shift in power, and the STDs ruled from above
Death poured down from on high
And "cancer" was written in the sky

These big guns divided the pack
We became lone wolves, and trivial
We cannot stand before this attack

We remember when we were united as a wolf pack
We were pack
May 2017 · 297
Second Amendment
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
The second guarantees the first; it protects us from the worst
Thomas Jefferson knew this, he expected us to prove this
The only right which guarantees all the others,
Given to us by our brothers in principle
Expected to continue the tradition,
We’ll fight when pushed too far, for our descendants we’ll wear the scar
Perhaps we’ll die in the fight, but what is our life if we have no might?
For the freedom of our children we’ll risk our lives,
We know the tyranny throughout history upon those who surrendered their rights
Absolute power corrupted their rulers and turned them into abusers
Now take courage and stand strong, show them our training is life long
Shoulder to shoulder stand together against adversity
Show our resolve and the problem may dissolve
Pray to God for a peaceful reply, and you may know peace by and by
But if the time to fight is for us no longer a controversy, have no mercy!
Fight with all your might and keep freedom in sight
Respect our founding fathers and our descendants,
Keep your morals and fight for what’s right,
Don’t bring shame on your cause or you’ve already lost
And if your blood is shed, remember: without freedom you were already dead
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 415
Sins as Scarlet
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
Ours sins were as scarlet, so we walked on red carpet
But that couldn’t hide, hide what’s inside
He exposed our sin, exposed our heart
Left us bleeding, a wound we couldn’t heal
But His needle was the cross, and His thread was the blood-the blood of the Lamb
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 303
She never was
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
She’s lost, though here – already gone
When you embrace her, you embrace the air
Who she is, who she was – what does it matter?
Her laugh is a memory, her presence helps not
She was never here, it’s just an illusion
We tell ourselves: she’s really here!
Be that as it may, she wills to not.
She was born the slave of another
Loosen the reigns? He will not.
Though you try, though you cry,
Your prayers fall on deaf ears – so it seems, anyway
Your God is listening, but forces none
She must see, she must believe
She can’t see: she’s fading away
Though here, she’s really not.
‘Tis a memory, she sees it not.
She races to and fro, she loves and shares
Yet living, she’s certainly a ghost
For what is her existence but a memory?
Though she’s now, soon she’s past
Forever gone, forever lost
A creature made in the likeness of her creator,
Made to be, rather than be not
She chose to not, she chose to live
But wouldn’t see in living, she was really not
Now you have eternity to forget:
She was there, though she was not
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 625
Relativism
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
My view just as yours, no better or worse
Everyone’s right in his eyes

Of nothing I’m sure except there is nothing sure
A contradiction in itself, certainty of complete uncertainty!

I do as I please, and despite what you say, I will not seize
Do my actions make you feel distraught? Change my ways, you cannot!

The earth goes around, some may say; and others the reverse
It’s neither here nor there; it’s all based on what you can bear!

Of all things I know I’m right, because I feel them in my heart
How dare you disbelieve me? My faith makes me care free!

Be released from your prison, release your mind and be set free!
There is nothing absolute in life, only what kills your internal strife

You cannot offend me, in my beliefs I am firm – they are shaped after me!
Like my god - I am a clone, he looks just like me!

I overlook my deity, by defining god I become He.
My god would do no other, I am right and he can do no wrong – did I stutter?

How do I know I’m not wrong? Because I am head strong
My defenses are fully placed, my time to doubt I will not waste

I am right in my own eyes; we tell ourselves all kinds of lies
In the end, this it changed: our life and after have been exchanged
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 734
Lonely stranger
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
I was a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

You clothed me in scarlet
And my sin was my garment

Because I was once a harlot,
You knew at seducing, I was an artist.

I was a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

Because those ol' friends are so easy to bend
They came and they went, like our odds and ends.

My old friends, did you know she would steal your hearts?
She played the parts so well, she became your all, all on course.

I am a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

My friend was a lonely stranger, he never saw the danger.
On the side of the road, he became one with nature.

Now his container is at my feet, reminding me of my greed.
I was a man on the golden street, 'til I did this evil deed.
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 437
Sinner’s prayer
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
Have you said the sinner’s prayer? If not, do it on a dare!
Your heart does not matter, just open your mouth and chatter
Sin is not important, just say the words – the rest is unimportant!

I’ll even think for thee; just say this prayer after me!
This mantra is our way; it’s our spray and pray!
Join our fray and don’t forget to tithe, this is the method we’ve devised

Now I add another chalk mark, unaware you’re living in the dark
To my pastor I’ll proclaim all I’ve done today: brought in a dozen more strays!
I’m not sure why they don’t stay, it must be the pastor’s fault anyway.

A gospel easy to believe, just be open to receive
My pastor says I’ve got it wrong; I should open my bible before too long
Maybe I’ll find another church instead, surely he misread

Now I’m gone and his church flourishes, converts true who get their nourishment
I opened my bible today; perhaps I’ve led them astray
I hope I can undo all of this; is it too late for their bliss?
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 1.2k
Different Paths
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
You were a friend faithful and true, but in your eyes: of evil I was a preview

The path I took brought you to feel fear and disdain
But if you could see from my view, you’d see my efforts are not vain

I wonder what became of you, and whether you think of our old debut
It wasn’t grand, but it seemed part of the predestined plan

For that time I’m thankful, because of you I grew more faithful
I remember your fervor for God, and in that I am still awed

Lives on different paths, perhaps in the next we’ll walk together
May 2017 · 261
Confined
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
Confined to the womb, living – yet alone
As we came, so shall we go

To this world we enter, our accounts empty with souls full of hope
We’re small and weak, then we’re big and strong
We’re lonely and afraid, but we become loved and brave
Without direction, without purpose, we find our way

As we came, now we are going – but in reverse, it’s certainly a curse:

Our accounts are empty, the optimism fades
Now are we small and weak, though we were strong
Once we were loved, but now we’re lonely and afraid
Without direction, without purpose, we have lost our way

As we came, so have we gone
Confined to the grave, we die alone
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
May 2017 · 1.1k
Suicide
Jerrad Johnson May 2017
We just met but I enjoyed your company
You were with child and you seemed just a little wild

We spoke only a few times, but I enjoyed those times
You seemed happy and ecstatic; I wonder if it was just automatic

That you wanted to exit never occurred to me, I guess you wanted to be set free
It’s hard to see any light when you’ve made a mistake; you couldn’t wait for daybreak

Was the pain too much to bear, couldn’t you find someone who cared?
Did you suffer in the last moments, did regret this too?

Now you’re gone and your child is too, what if you had it to redo?
Would you return and live the life you were meant to have?

Would our conversations grow old together, would we be strong against the weather?
Would your glowing countenance be true, your precious moments not just a few?

I wonder about the life your child would have had,
Would your child be like you, would she share your world view?

For a memory of the old times, you now live in these rhymes.
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 787
Sadness, my beloved
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
Sadness never knocks at my door, after all - she sleeps on my floor
Though we live together, I feel we’re worlds apart

She teases me with her presence, but we rarely embrace
For her companionship I offer my time and tears, but this isn’t her fee

When I come near, she lingers for a moment but then she flees
I’m mesmerized by her allure, an attraction that seems improper

So I play a song that oft we danced unto, one in which we cried together
And for a moment she’s swept into my arms, but she tells me “we can’t go that far.”

I fear she may leave and never return,
Alone I’d live with my stony heart
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 897
The walls
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
For a friend I wish, but one with a heart pure
For my heart was burned, more than a time or two

A wall I *****, for my safety it must not fall!
Strong and sturdy I build, firmly planted in the ground
The vilest of creatures it must hold back

Near my gate you come, not expecting this village houses one
With eyes you look in, but the curtain is drawn and you see not deep within
Lest you see my weakness and with that attack

My arms I extend: Don’t get too close, stay beyond the end!
My palms I hold out, you must know that I’m afraid
Those who came before stabbed me in the side, and because of this now I hide

A friend I have not found, perhaps to trust I am now unable
For my trust was betrayed, more than a time or two
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 426
Inertia
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
For so long the Devil played the strings on my heart
I was a puppet in his hands, feeling this and feeling that
But Christ cut the strings; he replaced the hooks with a heart of flesh

Though still I feel the emotions, I go through the motions
They controlled me for so long, they pulled me along
Like a top, spinning and spinning; now free but it goes through the motions

My heart is free, but resides at pride and hate
My hands are free, and do the devil’s handiwork
My mind is free, but on Christ it does not dwell

Inertia lasts so long; then it’s done and gone
Someday it will be foregone: just hold on!

Little by little, I realize the puppet is free
The sins of my past are no longer steadfast
Spinning and dizzy still, I venture only step by step – but soon I walk freely

My heart is weak and failing, but soon all renewed
My hands are trembling, but reach to embrace the Savior
My mind forgets my sin, and clings to the old rugged cross

For so long, I fought to undo what had been done
Though I was glorified, the shadows of my stains made me tremble
As the spinning stops, so my heart; my sin is finished and I’m made like the savior
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 964
Denial
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
The sheep are swimming in the Nile; they must be living in denial!
Denial is our best friend, the constitution we must amend!

Guns are our mortal enemies; their only use is to commit felonies
To stop these tragedies, we must impose harsher penalties!

There is no wolf, we will not die; there’s no need to put your life on the line
Sheepdogs are for the paranoid, those who live in a void

Remove the sheepdog and the enemy goes away, to happiness this is the true way
Ban the wolf with a no trespassing sign, surely we’ll be fine

Respect and common courtesy, the wolf will live in harmony
Close our eyes and he goes away, all we have to do is pray

Our herd used to be bigger; we don’t ask questions as long as our denial can deliver
Until our children are in the fire, then the sheepdog we require

But the sheepdog is out of practice, we fired him for “malpractice.”
Ruined by us, he looks no better than us – but he’s not like us

The sheepdog is weak; his sheep made him an antique
But his mind is strong and he’s eager to **** the evil and wrong

Wolves are predators, feeding on the weak; it’s denial they seek
The sheep will never fight, but pray the sheepdog is able to take up their plight
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 748
Silence
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
Though it swallows our friends, the grave never speaks
And our voices can’t reach them now; they’re buried too far down
It’s difficult to imagine how dark it is for you, I guess this was something you had to go through
What’s it like, being free? Is it like a dream?
You never liked the noise, the ruckus and all the ploys
I guess you got what you always wanted, though it all seems haunted
This world seems a little darker to me too, of my cold grave it’s a little preview
Your memory will die now that you’re gone, inevitable like the going of dawn
This journey without you, I wonder if it even matters whether I do
The birds sing as before, I see when I’m gone there’ll be no uproar
With you in silence, to the earth I return and bring some balance
As it was so it will be, a life is gone and gives another its key
This life is pointless as can be, but it defines our eternity
Soon silence comes and we leave this place, so toil for the next and for this grace
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Apr 2017 · 282
PTSD
Jerrad Johnson Apr 2017
A rush I used to feel, stress that seemed much too real
On this time I look with nostalgia, but from a rerun I may not salvage

Sleep always escaped me, an hour here and there how great that would be
But my greatest enemy perhaps - loss of control would cause a relapse

On rising I was oft unsure whether my thoughts were pure
Ready to fight, I felt I’d been up all night

My body is white and shakes with terror,
The effects of adrenaline caused by fear, countless times in the first year

My members swing as if to fight, acting as if they’re in fright
In addition to this, my tics are amiss

My vision is foggy and gray; I guess I can see halfway
And the edges seem dim, so in this misty night I remain; this is nothing to disdain

Thoughts which are surely not mine, images race with speedy pace
They clearly have no logic, I wonder if this result is neurologic

Sudden terror I feel, but alone I am and this alarm is not real
My sanity I check, glad I did before I hit the deck

My insides churn and swirl, I almost want to hurl
Soft and tender I am inside, it wants to come out the other side

My limbs I sometimes feel; if not lost, then here and seem unreal
Surely they are not mine; they haven’t felt like this since I had a child’s mind

Perhaps from my body I’ll detach, and float up here holding for a rematch
A chance to process what’s happening down there I guess, this is such a mess

Always on alert, with blind death I will not flirt
You’ll never stand behind me, this is my new reality

I know you’re real, but an orchestra I now sense; your legitimacy is concealed
This weird world appears strange to me, a lot smaller than it used to be

Oft I feel generally ill, I fear that **** me this great general will
A day or two sick they say is normal, but after a year or two this became my normal

They say exercise is good for the heart, but I think palpating like this is not smart
Sitting here still, now at a hundred and fifty – on its final race it may be

In circles I tend to walk, my bearing I’m trying to clock
Wobbly I stand with my head in my hands; I must look like an oddity

My thoughts drifted to life and death, what was more serious than breath?
Life I must content to preserve and defend, what is more basic to comprehend?

More than daily I faced my God, on the brink of death I thought
Powerlessly mortal I always felt, now immortal I tend to feel

Pleasant memories from this time are few; I wonder if I even get déjà vu?
Of this time I have little sense, was this for my defense?

If you wonder what good came of this, look to God without whom I’d be in the abyss
And that’s not all: accepting death repeatedly, to face the enemy I am free

Intensity of this degree I may never enjoy again; to wish for this I feel I am crazy
This is broken, can’t you see? A prisoner who doesn’t want to be set free!

A life filled with adventure took its toll, always testing my heart and soul
On the other side I am now, fighting boredom and that event – but in a way, I feel dead anyhow
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347

— The End —