im drunk.
high on god knows what
with the whole world spinning like a top
its even worse when my eyes are shut

but its worth the sickness
for the slight reprieve
needed a break from reality
where i can pretend you didn't leave

I screamed in my heart
-just one more mile-
As I scratched at my chest
-keep me a while-
Motel 6 with an arco out front
But we passed it like we were on the run
So fast but
the fuel that kept us going was running past

A little line

Like a race
And I’m the hare in first place
I took it for granted
Forgot my own morals
And you were the tortoise who would have endured the miles
And just like the rats in their cage
We chewed through the bars that kept us from exploration only to be caught up
In exasperation
I’m tired
Too tired
And we got sick
Of the race — of keeping up with each other and in the end
We couldn’t put us back together again

I feel like Icarus;
or
a lead ballon.

For I know I am
Dragging-Dragging-Dragging
On the ground—

and
It’s Cold
And I’m Cold

I.
Remember.
Flying.

Flying to close to the sun;
It was hot-
We were hot.

I just flew too close-
While trying to leave
the atmosphere

I popped and
my wings melted;
And now?

Now-
I’m just cold
A lead balloon on the ground.

Or I’m Icarus and I’ve drowned
But it’s still the same
Cold and going down

Tiny dots on an endless timeline.
That's what these are.
These pictures scattering the floor
These memories scattering in life.

These rules we have in place.
These hands we must hold.
These words we must say without being told.

But I love the life.
These things we have.
Memories in my mind
Scattered in my hands

I will remember you fondly
I will remember you dear
Because
Because

I always wanted you here.

Quiero un besito.
one is all I need to get me through the day
and I haven’t seen you in a while

so let me be of some trouble
and take me by mis manos
porque quiero un beso

I still perform autopsies
on our dead conversations.

I saw my ex today
after planning out a day to get away to see him. After he told me he'd be in state for the weekend.
And I refuse to say I missed him.

I saw my ex today
after six years of rebuilding myself. After we couldn't make it work when we were so young.
And I refuse to say I still care.

I saw my ex today.
after already being in a new relationship for two years. After my current boyfriend finally told me he feels comfortable with me. And I refuse to say I did the wrong thing.

I saw my ex today.
after writing poem after poem referring to the love we used to have. After I found new life and new love in a new man.
And I refuse to let myself go back down that road.

I saw my ex today.
And after all this time he missed me more than I missed him.
And I refuse to be that little and naive girl again.