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569 · Nov 2017
Traumatized
Jayda James Nov 2017
Traumatized by the words that I never said
By the things that I never did
All the unspoken words
Tell me your feelings and why I didn’t consider yours
Why I thought to bring you to tears
Thinking of all the things we did and all the things you experience
Don’t settle just let go cause all of you I don’t deserve
You deserve all of me but all of you is what I had
Tell me, tell me did I put you at your worst
Can you love or is it numb, just tell me your feelings
Eyes watery as you tilt your head to the ceiling
Fighting back words, fighting back tears, fighting for love
So anxious to get your attention and pour out my love
Some mistakes we live with, some mistakes help us grow
To tell you I love you, now you’ll never know
So enclosed awareness and guarded up against love to never know how to feel
Tell me do you know how to trust
So many lies with so many promises
So many words with no actions
Things will surely come to the light
Why does the heavy weight feel so light
Why does it yet weigh down on me
To have me think I could bring you back to me
Traumatized, traumatized, traumatized
Filled your head with questions and lies
All the things aren’t as bad as it seems or bad things aren’t as it seems
In held so many emotions you don’t know
Whether to cry out loud or hold in your screams
But to you I truly wish the best
So many unread messages and deleted texts
Feening for your love and your ***
Lord don’t let her experience anybody as her ex
Don’t fall for it
Don’t be another victim
Such a beautiful woman that’s been hurt for so long
The road ahead of you just seems to be going on for too long
All the weak emotions with such a strong woman
i don't even know what to say... I'm sorry
405 · Feb 2018
One Heart
Jayda James Feb 2018
One heart
The only heart I’ve truly seen
I didn’t pick up no traces of a reoccurring scene
I’ve never loved the same no it wasn’t the same as it would normally be
Visions of the flashbacks
Taking you here with me
One heart yet you captured mine
Such a beauty you have became over time
Your that shadow, the overseer in my heart
The reason I’ve been pulled so apart but remain so strong for so long
I can’t imagine it being another love
No it’s impossible
You can only run into a few good hearts
The ones that love so deeply but acared to get torn apart
There’s no other feeling then when you here
There’s no way I would risk it all again
Unless I had another chance to where I begin
I couldn’t imagine settling
It just seemed so early
But awoke went heart and it stayed so steadily
2-3 years maybe even more
I’m so sick of being sick, the things I’ve always seemed to adore
My mind took control and had me wanting more
Wanting more than I could handle
It just felt like it was worth the risk
2years later did I ever imagine this
How does one seem to exist
How does one go to fix
Something I questioned over so many years
1 heart but so many emotions I missed
The reason I never received another kiss
1 Heart, 1 love is what it is...
No repeat... nothing quite similar... so irregular
316 · Nov 2017
Love R.I.P
Jayda James Nov 2017
R.I.P to a heart, because your love will always seem to be mine
stuck on your love, a soul so devine
R.I.P to my heart because i have no intentions to love
Took a dose of you and i just fell so in love
It's so crazy how things are, and how things seemed to be
I wonder sometimes do you ever think of me
My heart, your heart, we just seem to be on the same level
To disrupt my thoughts on if i should settle
i never once could, and yet my mind is yet to blame
So scared to the thought of getting played
But karma played the role and everything seemed to unfold
The secrets deep within will always stay the words that are untold
R.I.P to all the things, all the things that should of mattered
So close to your heart, the beat seems to rattle
It skipped a beat, that's when i knew you were shocked
I should of mentioned your name, but temptation would never stop
And that seem to lock up your heart
And that just seemed to strip me free of all the trust you once had
In the deepest darkest moments, i just seemed to be so sad
So foolish i seemed to be
I only thought of me
If i would of shielded your heart, you would never have to leave
But so foolish i once was
look what temptation does
Never to be fooled by lust, just stick with the one you love
R.I.P
i wrote this about my ex girlfriend, don't let a brief moment destroy your love life, i had to learn the hard way
301 · Nov 2017
Million Questions
Jayda James Nov 2017
I have so many questions to ask
I don't know if my accusations are true
But some how i couldn't find a way to get over you
To much time to reminisce, to much time to sit and stare
At every lonely moment I'm wishing you was here
So many times that i have cried
So many days i laid there awake
Your loving is dangerous, just give my heart a break
No amount of apologies could ever take away all the pain I've seem to create
Everything that seemed to go wrong was my mistake
Are you happy, or have you ever found relief
Is love still on your mind, or do you think of me
Are you stuck on love, or have you been set free
My feelings are the only things that aren't destroyed except for me
That's why i think about you so constantly...
A million questions to you from me
so many unanswered questions i never got to ask... I Love You Nini
299 · Mar 2018
Smooth Lines
Jayda James Mar 2018
So smooth with my words, but not caring when it counts
The many times we kissed, i don't know the amount
So drawn in by your whisper
So engaged in everything you said
R.I.P to my heart, because that part of me is dead
what lead me to this point, what put me in this position
Had me concentrating on you, hopefully wishing
So smooth, the way i approached you, so eager with the way i grabbed you
I knew from that day on i didn't want to be without you
You lucked up this time, but i never gained closure
because i never wanted to let go, i just wanted to get closer...
not so smooth huh?
297 · Dec 2017
Ashamed
Jayda James Dec 2017
So many lies I tell myself late at night
So ashamed of my past I cry
The fake smile like a sweet lullaby
Late night thoughts drain every part in the inside
How could I disrespect you in such a manner?
Why did I ever give a kiss to such a stranger?
Didn’t stop to think, that’s what put our love in danger
I know you could never find the answer to the question
Why did I lie just to skip the discussion?
I kissed her, I walked around like I was right
My conscious ate me up, I could never cover up what’s right
Long day thinking, late night dreaming
You’re away at a party, and everyone’s feening
You made a decision, so much trust I put in you
You said “I’d never do anything to hurt you”
The reason you never portrayed me
The reason you stayed so true
In this lifetime I never did anything to deserve you
I made that promise to fulfill your needs
To ashamed to say I never did a good deed
I made a promise and I told you your hearts safe
Why did you believe me?
So disturbed by my ways
But to this day and next to the other
I wish I could’ve loved you
Instead of portrayal for another
i regret so many things
273 · Dec 2017
The Greatest Lost
Jayda James Dec 2017
My deepest sympathy, my love life is over, I know that I have nothing left
And based on this statement this breakup was my deepest regret
I can’t even sleep, my mind telling me there’s so many things that are incomplete
The mistakes I’ve made I would never repeat
Reflecting back on everything that happened, all the ways I never approached
I wish I could’ve found my love and gave her the letters I wrote
So many paragraphs, and forwarded messages
I should’ve delivered myself
By the selfishness is the reason I’m by myself
You have feelings too, your heart hurts too
I should’ve thought of that before I ever hurt you
Love cannot be bought material things never matter
In the end if I would’ve treated you right our love life would’ve never shattered
Too stupid to just stick with the one I considered my all
That’s how every relationship has it downfalls
Too greedy, I could never handle one when her love was just enough
Love will make you feel sick all the way down to your guts
It’ll make you feel so many symptoms that’s far past a heartache
Just know I never meant for your heart to break
Too obsessed, to stuck, to in love
Too sprung, so high up off your love
So many things I’ve always been ashamed to say
All the hidden secrets must come out today
I was so foolish and I think all these words should be said
My actions seem to be the only thing I dread
Now it’s so hard for me to even go to bed
I’ll never find someone who loved me as much as you did
The simple apologies from the mindset of a kid
I’m left with many memories and the days we shared
Every time I spend time with someone else I envision you was here
I’m the one to blame, and I’ll take all the blame
The list of lies is such a shame
My greatest lost was losing you
March 13 will never be remembered the same
I hope you find closure, I’ll take the blame
Like your love? No I will never find another
Sincerely your Former lover
The thoughts of a former lover
248 · Mar 2018
Teardrops
Jayda James Mar 2018
These teardrops i cry, the ones that fall beneath my eyes
Nobody knows the total pain i feel inside
Outside so warm but inside so cool
Tell me for you why did i play the roll of a fool
Tell me how did i not know
and why i wished you to be gone
Now undelivered every message to your phone
Sorry isn't enough
My bad isn't any good
and i will not know how to love
and so far out misunderstood
These tears that i cry
So heavy when they fall
I have no one to blame because I'm the reason for them all
The days that i spent, in a corner to myself
Nobody could replace a love like yours because it never left
I never ripped it away, i never cut down the strings
That's the reason it drags so heavily
I'm the reason for my pain
because I refuse to let go
and the feelings that i feel you will never let go
You cut me loose
You cut me off for good
and i just have to see your face
Everyday that i walk through
Tell me what's the pain
And why it feels so irregular
I  tried to call your phone but it never reached your cellular
So many teardrops in my eyes
These tears that i seem to cry
Gives you every reason to tell  me goodbye
I'm so stuck up in my ways
I'm so stuck up in my feelings
Your love is the one way i could bring healing
The days fade away, but the tears grow longer
Every day i remind myself to just be stronger
NUMB
234 · Dec 2017
Why?
Jayda James Dec 2017
Why?  
Why do I allow this to happen
Weakened without you, impossible without you
Why do I allow this to happen
To pretend not to care
To pretend not to show emotion
Deep inside I'm weakened without you
Though the days are hard without you I cry
Weakened by the days I spend without you by myside
Some people think to just let go and give in
To seek love from the weak, when I want you again
To be without you,  to truly be without you Is nearly impossible
Just tell me you love me
Whisper it to me softly you love me
Not that I be satisfied, but that you should love me back?
Whatever it is I can do
Tell me, tell me, so my actions can prove the words I say is true
That I cannot spend another lonely day without you
224 · Dec 2017
Scared
Jayda James Dec 2017
There was so many reasons to be scared, so many reasons I never talked to you
I never knew how you would react if I told you how my heart was desperately seeking you
So scared of rejection, this path I already been through
But Everytime I looked back, I thought there could be a way to work things out with you
I didn’t mean to aggravate, I just meant to explain the love I once had
Frozen in time when you asked how didn’t I know that
How did I not know that you would hurt, and that it would be hard to communicate with me?
But it was just my mind seeking out for you so desperately
My apologies from deep within, my mistakes listed above
Procrastinating about getting you back, when you was the one I loved
Fighting for the reason you smile, fighting for the reason you look forward to waking up
But trust I’m no longer in control of
Like a bee stings its prey, like a thief in the day
You never know how much you love someone until they go away
I got to stop procrasinating, and being scared
208 · Dec 2017
Million Questions
Jayda James Dec 2017
I have so many questions to ask
I don’t know if my accusations are true
But somehow, I couldn’t find a way to get over you
Too much time to reminisce, too much time to sit and stare
At every lonely moment I’m wishing you was here
So many times that I have cried, so many days I laid there awake
Your loving’s dangerous, just give my heart a break
No amount of apologies could ever take away all the pain I’ve seem to create
Everything that seemed to go wrong was my mistake
Are you happy, or have you ever found relief
Is love still on your mind or do you even believe
Have you ever mentioned my name, or do you think of me
Are you stuck on love, or have you been set free
My feelings are the only things that aren’t destroyed, except me
That’s why I think about you so constantly…
A million question to you from me
There's so many unanswered questions...
192 · Jan 2018
2 Years Ago
Jayda James Jan 2018
Two years ago, so many months behind
Chasing after you, a dreadful feeling of mine
Unable to be in control, unable to control your actions
I tried to regain control without asking
Two years ago, and just a couple weeks back
I panicked because I just let my heart relax
I kept thinking about you, and I kept thinking about me
I can’t force something to work, if it’s not my destiny
My words was smooth, but my actions were cruel
I led you to believe I would never hurt you
What a fool, what a fool
Two years of being stuck on you
Don’t listen to the nonsense
Don’t believe everything you here
Just because you say forever don’t mean the love will stay there
Too much on my mind, too dumb to just let go
Obsessing over you, trying to get back to you
I don’t know what I was thinking
But now I understand what it was
Addicted to the lustful thoughts
Instead of focusing on love
I gave you great pains
I gave you things you never asked for
I wished I did all the things I intended to do
But instead I kept chasing you
The first time I ever been obsessed
The first time I ever been stuck
So many times I asked myself say what
What are you doing?
What are you thinking?
Why haven’t you changed?
How do you expect to get her back?
If you stayed the same
So stupid, so cruel when it came to thoughts
My name never ran across your brain
You was way past the idea of making it work
I was left with all the hurt
You suffered, but I ended up hurting in the end
Everything that once stood tall all had to come to an end
So many days I wanted to cry
So many days I wanted to stay locked in my room
The smell like your sweet perfume
No kiss like yours
No softer feel then your lips
I dread the way I think, because you I still miss
I’ve been everywhere
I’ve been in and out
Not knowing if I’m crazy
Because I said with you, I couldn’t live without
It’s killing my pride
It’s killing my soul
The final moments of me letting go
Don’t judge me from where I been
Just judge me from where I’m at
I know you don’t love me no more
But I wanted the feelings to be as mutual as that
Most of the things are true
The things that I was accused of
Falling in love with the one I was scared of
The one that I just wanted to be friends with
Everything had to end
Everything just happened so sudden
These tears from my eyes
Makes the lines to your heart flooded
I know I cannot understand
I may not ever believe
That I have to let go in order to heal too
But I chose to play the role of a fool
So here’s a reminder
Here’s a reminder never to forget
I may not have you anymore but the memories will still exist
Two years ago I learned how to love
I also learned how to manage
I was terrible, and I never planned it
I wouldn’t know what love is if I invented it
I just needed a shoulder, I just needed something to lean on
Your love I always seem to feen for
Now I finally understand why you left me for
2 Years Ago…
thoughts from 2 years ago...
183 · Dec 2017
Depressing Thoughts
Jayda James Dec 2017
You ever been depressed so much that you can’t even breathe
My visions become the actions that I speak
Easy but I never meant to do it intentionally
My mind crazy thoughts, it just seems to get in between
My love life so wrapped up on all the things I’ve seen
You never realize the hurt to its degree
You never seem to see the vision
Never see the things I see
Outside so strong but inside I’m so weak
Tell me why I think about you so constantly
Tell me why I can’t get you off my mind, I can’t even speak
To envision you I can never ever see
Life’s hard the highest mountain I can’t even reach
My hearts cold, take away all the negativity
I share my love with you? But them things you could never see
I loved you the most but I’m the one you’ve hated
You used to love me
I’m the one that love you the most
But me? No you can’t envision it
But I’m stuck on you doing all these crazy things
Putting pieces together trying to get over the thought
Trying to undo what’s done but I took you for granted
The thins I did I can never undo
The things I did I can never take back
And you was stuck on my mind
Wish I could take it all back
I wish I could go back to the start and never do the things I did
But I did, I did do what I did
I did all the things you was scared of being done
But you loved me
You love everything about me
Now you sitting here thinking what to do without me
But it’s all good, but your heart
You can’t take them things away
Now I’m sitting here mind blown
Hoping everything’s going to be ok
I just need to go back in time, I just need to go back to that day
When you once loved me
And everything was ok
And everything was all good
By my side you always stood close
That’s where I needed you the most
Crazy thoughts in my head, I think I loved you the most
But you showed it a little better
Just thinking of all the times when we was still together
In the past, but it’s the future
Now my words seem so stupid
I know we won’t ever speak again
But when you hear this you’ll always know that this is about you
So close to my heart lays an empty soul
Never thought I could live without you
depression/Love what a combination
175 · Nov 2017
Wasted Toxins
Jayda James Nov 2017
Wasted toxins, filling my head with nonsense
Most of it traumatizing
Mind rolled in pills without realizing
Toxins, toxins, filling my head with unclear messages
Unclear thoughts, sometimes reminiscing
Substantial amounts of toxins
Fill my mind with such a boost, a high that lifts me and makes me feel so low
A place where nobody goes or wants to know
In such a monotone manner, your words like
Hidden messages wrapped up in my mind
So much love with such a cold heart
Such a bright beginning with a bad start
Toxins, toxins, toxins, lift me from the problems I seem to face
Something’s cannot be erased or I cannot escape
Take me on a trip to the open gates
Where hell freezes over, where my mind has its own place
All the wasted, wasted toxins
All filled in space
Unconditional love, Unconditional love
173 · Nov 2017
Experiences
Jayda James Nov 2017
These many experiences so much lost and the regret
To push love past the point of a bet
Your love can’t compare nothing to the average
Too much on my mind, in my head I hold baggage
The thoughts of the first time I ever loved
The first time I truly used my heart
Broke me down to the bone, never knowing how to start
Never knowing how to explain, I didn’t know how to love
But for you I would never put no one above
How do I explain, a love that’s stronger than a friendship
A love that’s stronger than the love for someone so ordinary
Your love felt so magically, it was so imaginary
Never temporary, the thoughts of it forever lasting
To my heart I held the pain
But in my mind I felt the blasting
I felt the pain that I couldn’t imagine physically
Tell me what did I do for you to be so into me
What did you do for me to be so stuck on you
Just to lay, just to kiss, just the gentle feel of your lips
How the hell did I fall so hard with just one kiss
With just one time, just one night, just so many emotions gathered
But to get rid of your love my heart just shattered
This is beyond love, beyond lust, I was just stuck
To say that I love you and that you’ll never trust
My heart you couldn’t look into, you just didn’t see where you went wrong
I used to long for your love once again
Just to hear your voice on the phone
Life’s crazy and comes with so many things we don’t expect
I gave my whole life dedicated to you in return for nothing left
I had nothing left, I put everything on the line, just to get your heart back
Unable to breathe, unable to speak, much like a heart attack
Much like a heart ache, a tummy ache, it felt so heavy
My love so strong, the weakest moments made me feel so crazy
2 years of mourning, 2 years of wishing for better
The bruise struck me deep
Never thought I could get better
I never imagined the days where I could stop the insane thoughts
The insane placed my mind took me
Your love wrapped around my mind and hooked me
So much sympathy, felt like I loved you so much
Even when I wanted to let go it felt like my heart would crush
Now these thoughts seem to be a reminder, a reminder
Never to put your heart past the point of return
You get what you give, so I never got nothing in return
I gave you sadness with a mixture of only the things I knew
In my mind I loved you so much, but I never deserved you
It was too fast, the process should have been slower
The process should have been in steps
I felt sadder than I ever had when I had less
You felt so high up, you felt like someone only within dreams
And to realize even the greatest things aren’t as good as it seems
You can pretend to be happy but it’ll never compare to the true feeling
Your love brought me faith and all your heart needed was healing
So many apologies, so many things I told myself I would never say
But your love has too much of a hold on me
You told me you was here to stay
I thought that meant through whatever
I thought that was through the worst
But to realize you couldn’t stay if I did wrong and put you through a hurt
If I put you past your breaking point, then you could never return
And if I was to ever lose you, then I would finally learn
I would finally change my ways, that I would finally grow
And that I would eventually know how to love
But in order to get past the process, I had to feel the same hurt
The same crushed feeling
The same sad cries
To see how it felt to be fed all these lies
Karma comes and lessons are learned
If you do wrong, the process will be long learned
To fix your broken heart the love you will have to earn
And if I found your love I know it would be hard
I would never make my way in
Cause the thoughts that run through my head aren’t well thought out
I’m so wrapped up in so many memories, I don’t know how to think things out
I got to react the right way and from the past I can’t return back to you
If I would of waited instead of rushed
If I was to slow down and give you time
Things would have been better and I would never have to lie
Love is a strong feeling, it’s the hardest feeling to over come
No matter how much I say I’m done my heart will forever feel numb
So dumb to the fact that I didn’t know how to feel without your love
Not smart enough to move past and regain enough
I couldn’t stop the thoughts
I couldn’t stop my mind from wondering
In a soul so sacred, I always seemed to keep plundering
I didn’t know how to say the words without being so blunt
I didn’t know how to explain without being so open
Your love came with damage and I never seemed to consider that you wasn’t ready
You wasn’t ready to speak I just cared about one thing
The one thing you wasn’t sure about
The ***, was never my thoughts
Just to give you quality time and never over talk or pout
To move past, to stop being stubborn to realize I can’t just sit here and ruin
Told myself what the hell are you doing
Why won’t you let go, why are you so stuck in this phase
Just the thought of a possibility of your love I went straight for it
I went out of all means to achieve
But you had the opposite reaction, and told me to leave
You told me to just move on
And I thought maybe I could heal if I left you alone
I was too scared to let you go, too afraid of someone loving you better than I did
But the stingy thoughts put me in the mindset of a kid
It put me in the mindset to be selfish and that thought of you not achieving happiness
So tell me what’s a long relationship without the stages of sadness
It takes a lot of work, it takes time and patience
But I never realized that, so in my head I went crazy
My thought process was lazy, trying to find loopholes, the easiest way out
But I found you, yet you found me and I found a way out
I found love and the quickest moment I lost it
So tell me if your love was so great
How the hell did I find a way to be without it
Trials and tribulations, these are just the thoughts of the strong lover
Never to compare my first love to such a distant lover
i've learned so much since we parted, this love was far from ordinary... thanks nini
138 · Nov 2018
War cry
Jayda James Nov 2018
The saddest faces come from the kindest hearts
Trying so hard not to fall apart
Karma comes and people go
Never interrupt the slow movements of the cold
Cold hearted, and simply separate
Seeking love from those who don’t love back seems a little desperate
I’ve been crying, yes I’ve been crying
So sick from my own mistakes
Some hearts are too precious to replace
Some hearts are too kind to mistake
I can’t keep everything inside
It’s been inside for too long
Why do I have to pull together when I’ve been so strong
But deep inside I know it’s so wrong
Because I’ve been broken for so long
Tears seem to stream because I’ve seen it all before
A bitter heart trynna love such a cold soul
These tears that I’ve shed I’ve felt them all before
I just wish I never had to feel this pain anymore
What do I do
What can I say to make it all right
So tired of the constant conversations of fussing and fighting
I can’t be strong like I use to
I can’t pretend that I moved on
Everytime I seem to interact I get that gut feeling
I get that weak feeling deep inside
But I refuse to cry, I got to much pride
I would do it all over again
Just to see your beautiful face
Just to hold you one last time
How can I act like I’m not bothered
When I can’t even ignore the facts
That I love you so much
But I’ll never hear it back
War cry... I got my game face on
The hardest part is trynna tell my mind to move on
Let Go
117 · Dec 2017
Sad Desires
Jayda James Dec 2017
Sad desires, so sad and sorry
Complicated and complex
Tell me when will the grieving stop
Why can’t I get over my ex
So much love, so many situations, so many things I can’t change
My love life I never could explain
The reason for portrayal
And why I hurt you
Ever part of my body’s telling me I didn’t deserve you
Man oh man, all these emotions within
Music to my ears to keep my tears in
To keep my face straight
I think I’ve learned my lesson
All the expressions, clear signs of depression
Sad desires and happy hopes
At the hardest moments I should of held you close
I mope, I mope, so sad, so memorable
So sly but hearing things I never heard
Please take me back to the month of the third
sad, sad, sad
117 · Dec 2017
Fatal Attraction
Jayda James Dec 2017
Fatal attraction is common
With you I seemed so hooked
My love for you is like a fairytale in a book
So unreal, like nothing you ever seen before
But your looks, that smile, all those things I used to adore
Get over and move past, or be down to your last
But the time is yet gone, my heart is like glass
So enclosed, so close, the pain seems to hurt
Now that you’re gone, I’m down to my worst
To give up I could never do, because my heart, it wanted you
So many apologies, to right my wrongs I could never do
I’m sorry, but it is way past, I hope you can learn to love
And when you give someone your all then no one will ever come above
101 · Dec 2017
Signs of Depression
Jayda James Dec 2017
Loud cries, red eyes hidden in the darkest nights
The signs of depression seem to come to the light
To ashamed to cry, to afraid to feel
Cause being in love was once my biggest fears
To scared to fall, to fall I could never do
But my depression never seem to keep me from loving you
Such a relief off my heart
Such a love I never obtained
The love stuck to me, took ahold of my brain
Sometimes I couldn’t speak
I just wish I could explain
It was either let go of you or go insane
I chose to hold on, I chose to continue my love
But not purposely but my heart wouldn’t let me detach
My heart wouldn’t let you hurt alone
So tell me am I crazy or am I scared to leave you alone
The signs of depression, the signs they never seen
I’m blind to love, only to fall in my dreams
Heartbreak/ Depression
63 · May 21
Love feels like this
Jayda James May 21
You what perfection look like
A beautiful flower that blows
The way your eyes use to flutter
Shined like a sweet rose
The way you had me locked in
And never found a way out
Til death do us part I will never let out
I wish I could change so much
Maybe I changed way to many
Sweet, friendly heart
To bitter never ending
I wish I was taught how to love
But I never figured out
To seal my aching heart
I never wanna do without
Your love it healed me
So many places scared
Locked and loaded
Never to pull apart
Your sweet loving, keeps my mind wondering
To get back to you I’ll keep plundering
I let go of pain
I let go of sorrow
Can we turn backs the hands
But fast forward to tommorow
You make life worth living
And living worth life
To settle down and fall in love
I just might
I’m in love something I thought I’d never feel again and it feels so good ❤️
60 · Jun 27
Drowning(Tears)
Jayda James Jun 27
Drowning in tears
Sinkin in pills
I wonder how great happiness feel
I use to get the feeling
The feeling that i may not make it
Smiling what a fake grin
How is it that you live with yourself knowing what you did
How is it that i have to take my life just to get peace
While you live on and I feel deceased
How dare you take everything i hold close
Then act like you right
When no one knows
To unlock secrets and began my life
I let you go off the chain
Knowing i still suffer
Knowing i still cant get past
I let you dog me out and still pass
I let you strip me down in every way
****** my mind and take my soul out of my chest
I wanna hurt you like you did me
But im not that heartless
I have every reason but i let you go cause i need peace
I hope you happy that deep down inside you destroyed me
I still wonder why I let you slide
The damages i have inside can never die
I hope they never ressurect
Cause i dont know how much life I got left
I dont show this part of me often but this is me breaking away from the older version of me
52 · Jul 1
Changes
Jayda James Jul 1
I wish I could've changed sooner
So you wouldn't have to hurt
I disrespected you in so many ways you never deserved
Why do you stay with me
I could never figure out
You seen so much potential I would always doubt
Why did I hurt you
One question I could never answer
I wanted to be your blessing
But my actions changed me into the curse
Now I see why you always say you get the worst
It's always you but really it's always me
You deserve the world
That I should leave
We've been through so much
No one could ever understand
Too many misunderstandings were never planned
You always held me down
Keep it true to the end
I downgraded you position and treated you like a friend
My love holds more than just a friend
I love you like a lover
I love you with every part of me
I need help letting go this ****** up part of me
I wanna change and become the person I intend to be
I want that old love back instead of making excuses and giving apologizes
Do you love me still even thou i dont deserve it
Do you love me still even thou i aint perfect
My apologies my sinceres apologies
To the only one who held me down through everything i love you forever

— The End —