This is why I don't speak
Because every time I open my mouth
Nobody likes it

I guess I just cant express myself well
because everything I say
Gets returned with hatred

I'm tired of people telling me to speak
yet when I do
they don't like it

Maybe I just don't undertand
I'm probably the one at wrong
I just don't get it

I don't know how to form coherent thoughts
even if when people read my writings
they say otherwise

I really don't understand
why so much hatred runs through us
I didn't mean to offend you

I was just happy
because I did something good for once
but I guess its wrong to be happy for one self

This doesn't make sense
like my voice others don't understand
but its the only way to speak without opening my mouth

I cant write a poem today
because the endless words will fog the purpose
I'm sorry for all I've done
My mistake for being dumb
Were all flawed, were all hauted
But its me who couldn't see
I thought those thoughts were true
but it turns out they just had
selfish wished
all I blamed was for myself
for I am the most flawed
this doesn't rime
this doesn't flow
but neither do my thoughts
surrounded by all my lies

I just wanted to be better.
But the constant sound of voices kept me tied down.
I just wanted to be better..
But the constant jokes just fed my ignorance.
I just wanted to be better...
But you used my greatest weakness against me.
I just wanted to be better....
But my happiness isn't worth more than yours.
I just wanted to be better.....
So I lied to keep you happy.
I just wanted to be better......
I gave away my future in a present.
I just wanted to be better.......
So I just let my life get wasted.
I just wanted to be better........
But your fantasy is more important than my reality.
I just wanted to be better.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Were my wishes mine to begin with?

I know that...
Deep inside those eyes so hollow,
lies a poor soul deep in sorrow.
Hiding from that feared tomorrow,
hoping for some time to borrow.

I know you...
Built these walls for selfless reasons,
and hid your heart in fear of treason.
You built your walls, you built a prison;
you built a shield against the seasons.

I know they...
Broke your heart and brought you down,
and for your soul they sent the hounds.
For years and years they stlaked around,
feeding to your endless frown.

I know I...
Gained your trust and passed your walls,
I found my way through endless halls.
I heard your whispers and your calls,
I saw the light grow ever small.

I know that...
there can be a bright tomorrow;
with no more pain, no more sorrow.

I know you...
can free yourself from this prison,
and find in life many reasons.

I know they...
will never again make your frown,
as long as I stand around.

I know I...
can help bring down those hollow walls,
and guide you through those endless halls.

And I know we...
can find a way to move together,
till the end and till forever.

So my true intent can’t be discovered,
So my heart and love can r­est in covers,
I write you this poem, I ignore the pain;
And wish­ that tomorrow I’ll see you again.

I wish to love you and be lov­ed back,
But I just know that your heart I lack.
So I hide my wis­hes in tunes and rhymes;
Cause I just know I’m not worth your tim­e.

So my words are silent, but my tunes stay true;
Cause It’s yo­ur heart who I want to speak too.
I know I’m not really all that ­you want,
But I just wish you’d look at me for some more time.

I think I broke my thumb....
It is quite a ***.
Because I thought that
fighting pain with pain
Would solve everything.

I think I broke my thumb...
And now it feels numb.
Just like what lies inside
My broken soul
And endless halls.

I think I broke my thumb...
I'm just very dumb.
Why would I think
That the pain in my bones
I should treat like you treat me.

I love being left alone, abandoned
told that I don't matter
But it's fine, I get it
I just hoped you didn't mean it

Go ahead, leave me behind
I understand, I don't mind
I understand I got replaced
I understand I got no place

I hoped you'd never leave my side
but now I get that I was just blind
There is so much better than me
There are so many better ways to live

I know it's fine, but it still hurts
You have to move, I'm forced to stay
You make more friends and find your place
while in a solitary state I stay

I know I', selfish, I know it's rude
but I just wished to have a place
I'm sorry I was not enough
I'm sorry that I wished too much

Lonely
Something that describes me
Lonely
The feeling I keep hiding

I want to be by your side
Yet I know I can't
So I stay away
Like you want me to

Lonely
It's what I am
Lonely
Is what I'll always be

Destined to cry
In the shadows of the past
Without moving foward
Trying to not look back

Lonely
Is what I feel
Lonely
When you look away

I'll keep my distance
If that makes you happy
I'll give everything away
If I get to see you smile

Lonely
For you my love
Lonely
Will be enough

I don't like: laying in bed;
sad and alone,
not able to rest.

I don't like: looking above;
seeing just darkness,
and nothing more.

I don't like: feeling so useless;
laying in bed
without any purpose.

I don't like: not being able-
to stand up at will
or open the window.

I don't like: feeling so empty;
sad and alone,
without my own mercy.

I'm my own little demon.
I'm my own little prison.
I'm my own little whisper.
I'm my own little killer.

I don't know what is true,
I dont know what is false.

Every day I wake up,
breath the air and look up;
As I see the sky above,
I wonder if its all I've got.

What if things weren't as I see?
Could they be lies composed by me?
How can we trust ourselves these days?
How can we trust our human ways?

People are selfish, people are cruel;
All these people just want to rule.
So what if Im like them, what if I'm dull?
What if my brain just want to be 'cool'?

I'm tired of questions, I'm tired of thinking;
I just want the truth to finally sink in.
What am I feeling? Who am I really?
These endless questions forever spinning.

And this poem has no ending,
Like the life I keep in question;
Will I reach a true conclusion?
Or will my life be left on pending?

I remember...
Laying in bed for countless hours,
Stoic and still with little power.
Those countless days I spent in my bed,
Those countless nights restless and dead.

I remember...
My crimson soul escapic my pores,
My empty heart filled with holes.
It felt like nothing, it felt like all,
I was surrounded by billions of walls.

Hidden in lies,
Deep down inside.
I'm just afraid,
and burried alive.

Just forget it
I don't know why I tried

I know I'm being sensitive
And I hate myself for it
you don't need to point it out

Just even forget I tried
I'm sorry
Its not your foult
I'm just very impatient

I'm just so tired
I don't care what rhymes
I'm alone surrounded by people
In a darkness surrounded by light
I don't find a way to care right now

Surrounded by endless space,
We have one place;
A home in perfect placement,
A little bastion of hope.

It's a miracle we're here,
And graceful we must feel;
But they don't comprehend,
They just don't understand.

Blinded by white lies,
That "Everthing'll be fine"
But is that really true?
Why don't they see the truth?

I wish to save my home,
My little bastion of hope;
But only wanting more,
They destroy evermore.

I wish to give the Earth it's peace
I wish her soul you would release.
But when I speak you shut me out
Just to make society proud.

How can you destroy your home?
How can you just care for more?
Your selfishness will doom us all
Your doomed if you ignore her call