Onwubuariri Jachinma

Onwubuariri Jachinma Jul 2020

Insomnia

We hugged the last time our paths crossed.
Intense like the lovers who had to let go.
Our faithless moments I tried to push aside.
Move on just like everyone else.
Not easy you whispered in my ears.
Tonight.
She came in shades of dark and hue.
Welcomed by the sound of the rain.
Forced to water the earth by the rain maker.
Another set of misfortune has befallen me.
Tensioning like the chat with the therapist
An escape from the conversations holding
in my head.
"You're healing" my favourite compliment.
Yet I lie about your visits.
Suddenly you changed.
The change from a special to ordinary girl
In the eyes of our lovers.
Angry we felt love in our own terms.
I know you I screamed.
Another turn off your swollen face
I fell from my bed
Happy we've lost tracks again.
Still I think of our encounter.

I am terrified you've come to stay.

Never allow pain box you in her little space. Learn how to treat you right and enjoy the peace you deserve. Nothing's worth taking sleep off your eyes at days end.
IN ALL YOUR FINDINGS, FIND PEACE.

#insomnia #anxiety #pain #fear #anger

Onwubuariri Jachinma Jan 2019

The path we all hate.

There's this exhausting road you still find yourself wandering in.
The potholed path of living in thoughts
In your mind every time.
You can be seen along there in the morning.
The fear of waking to the ray of the sun stealing glances of your naked body.
Playing dead as the alarm goes off.
Stuck in the mud of incompetent.
An airing voice of failure.
Smacked on your palms for missing the opportunity to live.
A collapsing vision you're handed.
At 25 you're seen a failure.
In the afternoon you are found there.
Seeking for shade under the roof of social vices.
The demeaning laughter of colleagues during lunch hour.
Cause you couldn't contribute to buy lunch.
Hunger is seen playing on your face.
A frustrating look you wear not cause of the neighbor you got into a fight with.
Rather it is about the alarming emptiness of your savings.
The month is fast ending yet the pile of bills welcome you each day.
Peace departs from your heart.
At night you lay helpless on same path.
Laid out, not wanting to rise.
Since hope has been bitten off your mind.
Mistakes swinging the rope dangling from the roof top.
This time "whys" became an escape route to meet death.
Breathing in and exhaling defeat.
Believing lies you served for dinner.
Today we sought for you in this path.
Echoed depression and lies.
We couldn't get to have a taste of your thoughts.
Now we leave a message behind.
Each day that path you cross is a story.
Fight the cause for triumph.
Do not breath without breathing.

At some point in living and growing up as a human we feel this heavy burden that we're never enough, we ain't putting in the needed energy to our work and that we need to establish our coast before we are successful and happy. There's is no mapped out plan on how we are to live. Life might not be favourable now, tomorrow we can be the best. Do not live just to live...be someone you will be proud of becoming.

#emotions #incomplete #fighter #living #human #body #career #gogetter

Onwubuariri Jachinma Nov 2018

Message to the oppressors

Everyone is in a battle field ,the course depends on which you wrestle against
Beings with baremouth filled with uncouth language surrounds us
A frail and feeble cotton mind buried in lies they pollute our lives with
Staining my hope for living
The stage gave me strength
I too am a fighter
Multiple eyes plants on my skin, focused on my lips as words made way
Whilst I rendered their world silent ,with truth flooding my eyes a disposition that raises brows
Gender suppression
Color oppression
Body shaming
Cultural and religious diversities
They are nothing but challenges to live better
Creating a world outside the beliefs and customs we're taught to live by
Besides there's no blind thought in the room of wisdom
Today the sun rose earlier than it did same day last year
A beautiful reminder to the oppressors
An eccentric spirit I have
Who have wandered through the years of judgement fighting the course that had me in bed during dinner
Past tags there's more to be felt in human society
Representing the downtrodden with vain and Lain hearts
Transformation is found in each of their belief
A hope of arrival
Alongside an end to the death stakes littered in our hearts

Freedom is never granted until it is demanded for.

#tags #suppression #oppression #racism

Onwubuariri Jachinma Oct 2018

Before you raise your flag

The headline told a lie, hiding the scratches of a failed government
We crave for redemption yet we are the sin committed
A suffocating truth carved against our egos and pride
Awoken from the slumber we are forced to dine in, to seek a light
Before you raise your flag in the street
Not a wish nor a prayer but a request that
Flashes of unattended promises from the manifesto blinds your path
Capitalized lies which stood the taste of corruption and laundering caress your choice
Millions of death pools stealing our guts, leaving us with sealed lips tend our wounds
Do you still want to raise it?
Before you raise your flag in the street
Not a question but a simple reminder that
The pay you received stole your pride
Taxes climbed the mountains touching the helm of hunger
You sit with unanswered questions begging for sleep
Void fills your heart, hope is lost
You made the choice
Rethink do you still have a truth?
Before you raise your flag in the street
Hang tight with the answers you gave your mind
Kisses of impotent words will slap your cheeks
Promises will pat your back and money will grace your pocket
Instead of dining with the moment to impoverish the future
Do not raise your flag
But before you raise your flag in the street
Death never tastes good until it is felt
Another needs to live.

The media isn't helping us attain the country everyone hopes for. Everyone has a conscience to which he/she wouldn't want to sell. Before you support that political dreams I hope you still have tomorrow in mind. A true society can be attained if we don't impoverish the future in accomplishing the interest of today.

#politics #dreams #today #society

Onwubuariri Jachinma Oct 2018

Adulthood; greatest trick i fell for.

Becoming an adult is the greatest trick I fell for, happened faster than taking my first step
Never wished life to be unfair to childhood memories
The promises and games I have forgotten some I try to recreate
Out of reach, the paper plane stayed
Each fold looks exactly like the segments of my heart, enclosing spilled secrets
Hoping to escape on a boat built with chocolate wrap
My favourite snack turned enemy, doctor said I have diabetes
Trapped in between a stormy sea stretched miles apart, scared not to drown in my own tears
Prayers offered during a full moon night I held on to than friends
Still scribbled on the face of a blue sky are the conversations we had
Talking to the mirror becomes an act I didn't outgrow
Unleashing the beauty of becoming me
The growth and changes in living
Everyone and everything changed form
Our giggles now turned to be a disguised laughter to keep us from crying
With cheeks hiding the stress we encounter on our way to become adults
The pattern is endless
Hoping to play in the rain naked away from the prying eyes of life
Washing off the words burnt on my skin
Left with beautiful scars for becoming an adult
The greatest trick I fell for.

Everything and everyone changed forms. I watch kids play in the rain while I seek for shelter to avoid getting my suit wet. The paper plane is heavier than it was.... I miss my childhood.

#adulthood #childhood #paper #grown #regrer

Onwubuariri Jachinma Oct 2018

Trust cost a thing.

If you get your heart broken, love doesn't care about the strength left in you
Neither does it notice the pale eyes and scattered hair you wear out
Tread with your heart by listening to the voices in your head
How did I forget so easily?
The sweetness of your voice and the melodious thrill in your tone
As you whispered "trust me"
Something changed
Convinced I heard it before, seems I have said it a few times.
Yet a handful of mess I allowed
Believing every word you said
Now I sink in doubt, a fragile affair it is
A piercing word ripping walls apart tearing down every feelings
Once broken your sense of belonging is lost with every humane feelings off your body
Trust, this isn't just a word
Its tales lives in every heart that have been broken
Misty eyes and fractured heart
Do I still have to believe you?

In order to live you have to trust knowing someday you'll be broken because of it.

#trust #love #broken

Onwubuariri Jachinma Sep 2018

Family killed me before I died.

The little voice begging for love and freedom from classroom is mine
I a child
Who harbours unspoken words and wavered feelings in my heart
If you let my spirit out of this cage, a beautiful world I'll paint
Now I am bound by chains of failure and mothers unemphatic nature
Every invisible second steals a pint of blood and bucks of flesh off me
Mother is now the pain I see, an undying tormentor she turned to be
On my skin she left her palm slaps and upbeat attitude that gets me grounded
The unpacked toys on the shelf describes me, a missing puzzle lying on the counter defines me
Jack and Saldy are now my favorite mares, the spirits by my window at night they are
On a daily I receive the backlash for not coming down for dinner
A loner in a busy house I am, neither living nor dead
Everyone thinks I am reserved, NO
There's peace in returning to my bed at night, a reviving hope of not seeing another rising sun
Mother can you look at my future, you've murdered my dreams of playing cricket
Do you even notice the pain in my eyes, or the numb little robot you've created out of me
I am complaining to the deaf ears of nature, broken and cold my spirit have turned to be
The wind is upon me, I shall sink my ship to let the sailor live
Whoever sees my body at the graveside should know I was a happy child
Before my demons haunted me.

Emphatic: How we treat and react towards each other adds worth or reduces their worth and self-esteem. Families, friends and society plays a vital role in building a person, just be yourself and true in any dealing with any person. What matters is how you left them not how you met them.

#child #dying #disturbed #childabuse #failedparenthood #childhood