It seems as though
I always want to talk to you
But our conversation comes at a cost
Because every word spoken
Puts me one word closer
To the last words I'll ever say to you.

With hope I could forever speak
With reason and love aimed at your heart
Taking your ears and making them listen
To what I need you to hear
Before you cannot hear anymore.

Carefully I select the sounds I speak
As not to choose the wrong ones
Picking silently in my head
The memories I would like to leave behind
In every moment I spend with you.

I know the last words I will say to you.
They are in my head now
Dancing on my lips
Teasing your ears
But I will not say them.
Not now.
Instead,
I will say them when it is time
For them to be true.

I do hope, however, that when that time comes
You will have already said them
To me.

No matter what I ******* do.
All I see is you.
Everywhere I go and everything I see.
You remain inside of me.
Thoughts and memories hoping to fade.
Remain just like it was yesterday.
To just hold you one last time.
Feel your gentle lips on mine.
My head wrapped in your alluring grasp.
Forever was always an ignorant lie.
One deceitful boy took my heart away.
I am trapped in this constant agony.
Replay in my head.
Until the day I am dead.

Days become better
Days become bitter
Last month I was happy
This month I am unkind.
The fog steals me away.

When the days are good
I wonder to myself
"When will it start slipping?
I know too well it is coming soon."

Then morning comes
And I feel a slight fog
insidiously creeping
darkening my mind.

Suddenly the sun doesn't shine as bright.
Suffocating air catches in my throat
And my heart is an awful weight in my chest.
on the verge of exploding,
Thumping harder.
Pumping bad blood.
Hot and sick.

All I have to do is open my eyes to see
that things are not what they should be,
And an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness
blankets me in my own disappointments.

Soon enough the days will become brighter.
It will be easier to live in my skin,
And the fog will ebb out.
But I know it hasn't disappeared.
The fog is just waiting.
It will be back.

Never say remember
That means that it’s the past
Never say forget
Because memories will last
Never say forever
That word is a lie
Never say nothing
And never say **goodbye