and then I asked you,
"What's your biggest fear?"

you gave me a quivering sigh,
looked at me straight in the eyes
and said,

"It's that eventually, you will see me
the way I see myself."

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.

Before the dawn, when I wake up
You're sound asleep, got no makeup
I look at you, I always do
You've got it all, but you've got no clue

Your quietness and mystery
And your unspoken history
Your calm demeanor, golden voice
A level head above the noise

Always on point, there's no excess
The words you say, the way you dress
No awkward move, no big disgrace
You've got all that and a pretty face

Your worst is better than my best
And if I could make one request
Don't smile at me, 'cause when you do
It breaks my heart and makes me blue

Don't want to hate you, never will
You do no wrong, yet hurt me still
You're everything he wants, you see
And all I ever want to be.

I wanted
someone
that wouldn't
be afraid

of me.

I spent
twenty-one
years
doubting
that person
could ever
exist.

For humans
are far too shallow
and our
complications
are

way too deep

but I honestly believe
we should not have to
be alone.

I believe in independence.
I believe in self-reliance
and I believe in self-respect.

But I also believe that
humans can connect
on a far deeper level
than just what we see.

I believe there is a time
and place
for everything
and that includes
the moments

we fall in love.

You see,
there will be days
that you fill
empty
and lonely
but you have
to be there for yourself.

No one is going to give you
a handout
unless you show them
you are going to
make it count.

No one is going to
rely on someone
that cannot
rely on them self.

Co dependence can be
beautiful
but nevertheless-
it is filled with
even more grief.

You cannot fix somebody else
when you are still
practicing
the craft
of self-love.

Allow your lows
to be reminders
that you
can lose
and smile
knowing
that you can
bounce back,
too.

There is nothing
graceful
in struggling
but there is
something
glorious
in the

overcoming

and believe me-
you will find a way
to live through it all.

And then
some day
somebody,
somewhere
is going to
admire
the way
you refuse
to fall.

And you will wonder
how you ever
let the world
make you feel

so small.

-Andrew Durst.

It’s like a spider
In a web
Crawling closer
Thread by thread

You try to run
But the strings are sticky
So you trip and fall
This was going to be tricky

You get back up
And continue on
Looking back
It was almost dawn

You’ve almost made it through the night
Keep on treading
You’re almost done
But the webs started spreading

The spider slowly follows
And you feel it in your soul
Here it comes again
Time to pay your toll

You lay there
Out of breath
Was it over?
Or was this death?

You couldn’t move
You felt dead
You were full of horrible emotions
One of them, dread

And suddenly, you realized
That big spider
The one that chased you
Was no outsider

You’ve been here before
All because of one thing
You should’ve stayed inside
But you didn’t know what the outside would bring

That spider
It feeds on society
That spider
Its name is Anxiety