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I lost myself in thoughts of things to be
That I find my tears drowning me.
I have seen enough there is to see,
Yet, I do not know of any truth to set me free

I have prayed and prayed,
That I find no word left unsaid.
I have paid and paid,
And do not know of any price left unpaid.

I do not know what demon has cover my lantern's light.
Even the stars are scared of this cloudy night.
I am lost between what is left and what is right
That I do not know what is right or left to sacrifice.

I have faith all things shall pass away,
But I fear this as well might sway.
I shall pray just this last day.
And hope I am heard before my hair turns grey.

–Abdulmalik Jibril
You said you saw me dancing in the rain.
You said I looked happy and sane.
If only you were truly true,
You would have noticed my pain.
If only you really knew
And not just claim,
You would have seen that my tears were the rain.

Dear friend,
If only you were truly true,
Maybe I would still be alive today.
Maybe. Just maybe.

—Abdulmalik Jibril
Dear Mother Earth,

Please forgive me, for I am of those who have wronged.
I do not know where I am, but I do know for sure that I am lost.

My eyes and feet are swollen, and my voice is fade.
For I have prayed and prayed, that I cannot find a word left unsaid.
And I have paid and paid, that I do not know what price is left unpaid.

I am working, but nothing else is.
Everything else is walking, but I am still.
I have cried and cried, that my tears are drowning me.
I am but a child, please forgive me.

It is dark here, please tell my star to shine its light,
For I do not know if to turn back, left or right.
I am confused and lost, tell me what more I am to sacrifice.

There are too many doors, give me just one blessed key.
For I feel trapped, and do not know of any truth that can set me free.

I still believe all things shall pass away, but I fear my faith might sway.
Please show me just a way, for my hair is turning grey.

Your confused child.
Some things are just not meant to be,
No matter how hard we try.
We cannot alter "The Decree",
No matter how much we cry.

What will fall will fall,
No matter how high the rise.
What will crawl will crawl,
Even if it has mastered the sky.

Sometimes, for some things to live,
Others have to leave.
For some things to come,
Others have to go.
And sometimes to free and be free,
We have to let go and let be.

Everything happens for a reason.
For which more important questions are, than "why?".
If we fight and fight,
And we try and try.
Yet, what we want passes us by,
Then we should come to realize,

Not all we want will be
But all that be is all we need.
I said it wasn't my country,
so I watched her milks turn acids
her blood diluting her rivers of honey
and her tears washing off her own fertility.

I had no fear—
     for it wasn't near.

I said it wasn't my tribe,
so I saw,
but pretended not to have even looked
I listened,
but pretended not to have even heard
Yet it was written on my every line;
they aren't of my kind.

I didn't care—
     for it wasn't my tears.

I said it wasn't my religion,
so I turned my back
reciting from my scriptures
I have eyes, but had no vision.

I had no fear—
     for of God, who dares?

It came for my country, but I wasn't near
It went for my tribe, but I wasn't there
It came for my religion, but I wasn't aware.
Now it has come for me,
but there's no one here.

By Abdulmalik Jibril
©2019
Today, I am again closer
to everything mine —destined.
Better than I was,
Good for how I want,
And best for what is to come.
That, I know, without doubt.

As much as I have gone farther,
I know I am yet to be
where I want to be.
Just as I know, without doubt,
What will be will be.
I am at peace and ease
Knowing Who holds the wheel.

Whatever comes after
Was never meant to come before.
And whatever comes before
Was never meant to come after.
However, whenever.

Today, I am wiser and stronger
than I was yesterday.
But I am not getting any younger
Just so you know,
Today, I am a year older.

©By Abdulmalik Jibril
There are voices
in my head.
They tell me
what to say and do
and what not to,
when to say and do
and when not to,
how to say and do
and how not to,
And why.

These voices
are those of my best friend.
They will never leave
as long as I live.
Is there a friendship
greater than this?

©Abdulmalik Jibril
Notes
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