Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Joe Biden to his Plastic Surgeon during a Botox injection appointment:

"Hey doc you seem like a **** guys, am I right? How do you like em, huh? Cmon...Big? Small? I'll tell you what, I like the ones that remind me of Delaware....flat baby!"


Many news sources are questioning the legitimacy of this breaking news report.

Even the Vice President has spoken on the allegation:

"Its obviously fake, Joe could never string that many words together that coherently."
I
Wanna be loved
But I 'll
Settle
For being liked

Gimme my
Fix
Dopamine spike
Keeping me feeling
Right

Take
What I said
Save it
And pretend
You'll read it again

Tell your friends
I wrote a sad song
Tell em to love me
And sing along
Life has become hollow
When life is holo
I want people to watch
And follow

Rip me
Fibers and strands apart
Leave a hole the size of you
In my heart
Press the buttons
Let your thoughts flow freely
Organized pixels
Texts tease me
But I can never
Reach that itch
Something's just not right
An off tune pitch
Chew me up spit me out
Dirt nap ditch
Take me from a good boy
To a paranoid *****
I got wet dreams
of Bill Gates strapped down
getting ****** off
by thousands of mosquitos
until his skin is vacuumed sealed
to his bones

Wet hot fantasies
of 9/11 re-do's
with every member
to ever attend Bilderberg
in cozy arm chairs
top floor of towers 1&2
with Apple brand suicide nets
outside barred windows

***** I etch n sketch
the scene where
the cdc blew up in TWD
but made sure
Fauci and the all DC gremlins
could make it to the bbq
I left my manga out around my young cousin, who mistook them for coloring books. Now Goku has purple nips and I cant unsee it.
I joined the illuminati as a janitor. You ever wonder who picks up after an eyes wide shut party, well you're looking at one bud. Do I have to bag entrails of virgins and baby bones...sure but on the bright side, I save all the adrenochrome EpiPen leftovers and sell them for a nice turnaround on Wayfair. You ever wonder why one throw pillow costs 5,000 buckaroos?
"TexasRoadHouse is to peanut shells as Hotel Room is to j-
We're live?"

-Neil deGrasse Tyson (2009)
I asked doc to stick vaccine in my pipe
So I can bust antibodies on my gf's chest
Two doses a day usually works best
Even greater effect when she ingests
Next page