I’m just in time
To be slightly too late
You’ve left my sights
And I don’t think I can wait

You ask my to stay
And I hope and pray
But I don’t know what to do
I’ll be here for you... at least that’s my plan

Happiness can be found not only in the obvious, light flooded areas.
I smile.
A laugh.
A night sky filled with stars.
A kiss, a hug.
Dying of laughter on the floor.
Sitting back on the lake and realizing you have a good moment and asking “what is life but this moment with infinite variation?”

But happiness can also be found in pain. In the dark places that haven’t been lit and where no friend will follow.
You cry on the bathroom floor,
filling the toilet with countless tissues
until you starting risking overflowing if you ever try to flush.
But then next morning you have a song you can sing for years to come;
a poem you will read to your grandchildren and watch the smile spread wide as they think “wow, he was just as young as us once”;
a new, redefined relationship.
All these things are happiness.

sun will soon rise up,
and i am here laying on the bed & thinking about life
why is it so cruel?
why is it so harsh?
we all just want to be happy and at peace
but why does it seems so hard to be achieved?

i want to write
but the words aren't coming

i'm feeling trapped
by my mind's inability
to translate my emotions
to letters with meaning

i write to understand
why i feel the way i do
i am the doctor
of my own thoughts

but if i cannot write
then i cannot understand
& if i cannot understand
then i cannot diagnose

so here i sit
with the same confusion
i began with

some words written before me
as useless as they come
accomplishing nothing
begging for everything