/|==============================|\
/|=====I don't burn bridges=======|\
/|===I just let them structurally====|\
/|=decay because I don't use them=|\
/|==============================|\

I am
just a
little lure
in the universe's
tackle box
If it
chooses
to get me stuck
on some rock
underwater
and leave
me there,
then so
be it
.

do Not
hate me
for being
a pessimist
your quixotic
attitude is
going to
get you
hurt and
then i
wont
listen
to you
complain

===========================================================
In the spring,
I remember to breathe.
I know if I don't
That things will get worse.
Much worse.
It has already happened before.
I don't want it to happen
Again.
In the spring,
I remember where I was.
I acknowledge where I am now.
Things are
Better?
Sure.
ok.
In the spring,
I meet you.
I learn you.
I understand you.
And you understand
Me.
In the spring,
I can be okay with this.
But I'm already thinking about


The summer.


I want you to be okay with me thinking about the summer.
I want you to be okay with me.
I want you to be okay.
I want you.
===========================================================

Mirror, mirror, I seek what is right.
I crave for something. I don't sleep at night.
I dream of happy. I awake to Hell.
I put faith in things that are not well.

Mirror, mirror, my thoughts are crass.
I've bled myself out with shards of your glass.
I fall faster with every nick.
Judgement clouded, my blood runs thick.

Mirror, mirror, my crystal ball.
Give me my truth, make my skin crawl.
I know what will happen. I'm pretty sure of it all.
Just give me my truth, let me allow myself to fall.

Mirror,
mirror.

Send a
bullet through
my  head
in the
form of
your thoughts
and love
and your
care and
kindness and
your passion
and your
ideals and
jokes and
tell me
that you
want to
kiss me
under the
stars at
night just
us alone
at last

.
this
is worth
so much more
to me
than it
is to you
isn’t it
.

let me get you lost in my eyes.
darling, i’m already trapped in yours.
let me trace your smile in my notebook once we stop and rest in the park,
watching the leaves go from red,
to dead,
to new;
to you.

He had live bait,
I had one lure.
Most are corrupt;
Both were  impure.
He’d cast out his net
I’d cast out my line.
He’d bring in many.
I gave it time.
I’ve done it before,
I have gotten a catch,
There are plenty of fish in the sea,
Yet still plenty of trash.
So I waited. And waited.
And waited a while.
My line got some tension,
Of course I would smile.
A tug and a pull,
And some struggling later...
I pulled my catch
Fresh out of the water.
Like many fish do,
It thrashed and it gasped.
It was held just under water,
By this fisherman’s grasp.
To keep it alive, do not let it go.
Just keep the waves moving
At the fish’s pace and flow.
It will stop its rage.
It will learn to relax.
Just give it some time,
And you’ll claim your catch.

————————————
these stars send light
on missions to bless your
skin
every constellation
every freckle
every moment
is a moment
i want to spend
under the stars
with
you
————————————

every word
i gave to you
really stuck.
and through all
of the pain,
all of the
long nights,
you still hold on to them.
it isn’t right.
because you want
to come back,
but you’re too
scared to stay.
i am done
waiting for you,
get away.
let your heart
heal,
before you break
my mind.
every word
i gave you,
you have turned
around.
you have gave them
right back
to me.  
i use them.
i write about you I guess

========
Come to
Think of it,
You know,
Sometimes
I don't know
What to write
About. I've have
Written quite a bit
About you.
I guess I find it
Difficult to find
Other things that
Pains me. Everything
Else is usually easily solved.
Now it is more of an issue
Because everything
Else isn't you.
You were my
Everything.
==========

at night i stay awake
thinking about
the past
the entanglement of
our hands
of our hearts
of our souls
sometimes i think of
us
what we were
what we weren't
what we will
never
be

It hurt when you left the first time.
It hurt more when you left the second.
Why are you placing yourself back on my mind?

I don’t hate hearing from you,
But we both know how it affects me.

You are still to this day the only one
Who can make me lose my breath,
Who can make me grow shaky,
Who can make my heart beat out of my chest.
Yet doing these things now is pointless.
Now it’s just from the anxiety,
When I see your name
Light up my phone screen.
You burn my old soul.
You cause my brain
To feel everything
And nothing
At the
Same
Time.

▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼Free Me From-▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬-▬-▬-▬
▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼The Chains-▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬-▬-▬
▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼That You-▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬-▬-▬
▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼Placed-▬⎼▬⎼▬-▬-▬
▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼▬⎼Upon-▬⎼▬-▬-▬
▬­⎼▬⎼▬⎼My -▬⎼▬-▬
▬⎼▬⎼Heart-▬-▬
▬-When You-▬
▬Left▬

Για νεκρούς στρατιώτες
Ρίξαμε τα όπλα μας
Σταματάμε να παλεύουμε
Αυτή τη στιγμή της μνήμης
Είναι μαζί μας
Αγωνίζονται μαζί μας
Έχω δει τις μητέρες μας
Πλήρη δάκρυα
Είναι τόσο γρήγορο
Πού πήγαν εκείνα τα χρόνια;
Οι μνήμες δεν θα τους αφήσουν να κλάψουν
Μόνο αν δεν επιστρέψω απόψε

You're not smooth.
I saw every glance that night.
It was so hard to watch the show
When I could see your glistening steel blue eyes
Searching through my presence.
I was being oblivious.
When you wrapped yourself
Around my left arm
And rested your head
On my shoulder.
I saw your cheeky grin
When my friends looked me
Up and down
In surprise

"Who's your friend?"

I should have kissed you that night.

But I also should have left
Everything in that moment.
Never returning
Messages.
Calls.

I should have left
You.

Then

And

There

Why
weren't
you
there
before?
To stop
the floods.
To stop the
rising waters.
To pull me ashore.
To rip the
stinging urchins
from my feet.
To keep
me from
drowning.
To make sure
we didn't become attached.
Why were you there in the first place?

hey
i know its been a while
since we've
talked
and i don't really
know
if we're still
close or
not
but i
need you back in my life
cause i'm in a fight
with myself
and i don't know
which one of me is
right
i need some
positivity
to get over these memories
i need you to help me to my feet
and if you could
kindly manage
to help a friend who's  really famished
well that old friend would be pretty
sweet
you see i'm starving
i'm hungry for adventure
but i'm also stuffed
from thinking about the future
and if there's one thing
i know
its that you have helped me grow
and on a side note, you'll reap what you
sow
this will give you time in the light
in my life
to give you time
to set things right
with everything that's ever caused you
harm

dear Dafydd,
i need you to come back
just for a little while

==================================================
last night I dreamed of you
...
well not really dreamed, but I
thought of you
...
i couldn't sleep
...
my brain wouldn't
allow me to not think of
how this all
could have been
different
...
if you didn't
catch my eye
in the
winter
...
as i performed
for a whole audience,
but the smile
on your face
...
i was performing
for you
as you watched
me
not so graciously
flail about
...
you were happy
then
we could have left it
there
...
this could have been
different
if we didn't
meet
in the
spring
...
if you didn't
hold onto me
watching the others
perform
...
this could have
been
much
different
if it wasn't all
based on
performance
...
on acting
...
on false smiles
...
we were playing
pretend
...
weren't we?
==================================================

==================================================
I still have screenshots.
From nights
You definitely
Do not remember.
...
I still have recordings
Of things
You don't remember saying.
Words you don't remember falling
From your mouth.
...
I still have memories.
From the first few nights.
Mental images of our smiles.
The laughter.
The fun.
Our happiness.
...
I wish I could
Forget.
....
I want to
Forget
...
I need to
Forget
The way you looked at
Me
==================================================

This isn’t about the Sun anymore.
This isn’t about being the Earth anymore.
For once it’s not about being walked on.
It’s not about false hope.
It’s about hurting.
…
This is about burning.
…
Not because of the Sun.
But rather, the fact that you blindly followed a torch in the darkness and now—now you are lost.
…
And no matter how long you stare at the plaster on your ceiling, all of the lines and dots and weird shapes, the map isn’t clear.
…
You wanted to grab the torch to bring the light closer, to see better.
…
But you went to far and grabbed the flame.
...

==================
1) My gaze
2) My sadness
3) My time
4) My well-being
5) My joy
6) My heart
==================


You left me with nothing but
happy memories that
I want to forget

I often worry
about what it is like to
be missed by certain
people.

Then I remember
"How will I pay for college?"
That's more important.
Isn't it?

.................................................................­.........................
T
Th
The
The m
The mu
The mus
The musi
The music
The music i
The music in
The music in m
The music in my
The music in my h
The music in my he
The music in my he
The music in my hea
The music in my head
The music in my hea
The music in my he
The music in my h
The music in my
The music in m
The music in
The music i
The music
The musi
The mus
The mu
The m
The
Th
T
H
Ha
Has
Has b
Has be
Has bee
Has been
Has been o
Has been on
Has been on r
Has been on re
Has been on rep
Has been on repe
Has been on repea
Has been on repeat
Has been on repea
Has been on repe
Has been on rep
Has been on re
Has been on r
Has been on
Has been o
Has been
Has bee
Has be
Has b
Has
Ha
H
T
Tu
Tur
Turn
Turne
Turned
Turned a
Turned al
Turned all
Turned all t
Turned all th
Turned all the
Turned all the w
Turned all the wa
Turned all the way
Turned all the way u
Turned all the way up
Turned all the way u
Turned all the way
Turned all the wa
Turned all the w
Turned all the
Turned all th
Turned all t
Turned all
Turned al
Turned a
Turned
Turne
Turn
Tur
Tu
T
F
Fo
For
For q
For qu
For qui
For quit
For quite
For quite s
For quite so
For quite som
For quite some
For quite some t
For quite some ti
For quite some tim
For quite some time
For quite some tim
For quite some ti
For quite some t
For quite some
For quite som
For quite so
For quite s
For quite
For quit
For qui
For qu
For q
For
Fo
F
......................................................­....................................
Sadly, I've forgotten the melody

....
.........
....................
.............................­....
...................................................
........­.........................................................
.......­.................................................................­......
I'm Scared Of Burning
.........................................................­.....................
I'm Scared Of Drowning
........................................................­......................
I'm Scared Of Soaring Too High
............................................................­..................
I'm Scared Of Hitting Rock Bottom
..........................................................­....................
I'm Scared Of Life
............................................................­..................
..............................................­...................
.............................................­......
.................................
....................
...­......
....

The Fire Only Burns A Little.
---------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------
Stupidly Enough, I Keep Reaching My Hand Into The Flames.
---------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------
You Think I'd Learn.

Nothing. Idea...Nothing.
No words. Too many words. Not enough words.
Never enough words.
Lacking. Empty. Blank.
Lacking. Empty. Dull?
Bland. Uninteresting.
Blocked.
No Creativity.
No Talent.
No Motivation.