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Sep 2015 · 528
Lost
SMILEY Sep 2015
I dont know who I am
Or where Im going
And this is such a tight jam
I havent tried escaping
But as far as they can see
I got it figured out
And I know how
To go about this
All this change

I used to have a light of guidance
To help me move forward
That light has been lost
Just like me

I have hope that the answers will come to mo
I have fear to search for them
I shall only glance over
But not go digging

What if my next move destroys me
What if I never make a move again

I look to my left and I see
What my old self would do
I look to my right and I see
Impulsive decision making

I am not the old me
But I havent made a new me

When I look forward
Ahead
Where the future lies
I see nothing
Something is in the way
Could it just be me
The world
My emotions
Thoughts

I still have nothing figured out
No plans
No ideas
Just patience
And curiosity
No clear vision
No direction
This is my life at the moment.
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
Got me.
SMILEY Aug 2015
I said I can do it
I was on a four month roll
I had it all
Then I joined the old group
And they had what I was deprived of
I thought I liked being away from it
But once I smelt it
I was back to it
Wanting it
Loving it
Inhale, exhale
Uphill, next hill
Pocket dragon me, blazer.
Ive been in love with her ever since I laid flame on her.
Mary Jane.
Aug 2015 · 309
"Mom"
SMILEY Aug 2015
She acts like my friend
Until I mess up
Which is completely normal
I mess up sometimes
She doesn't get it
She overreacts
Doesn't talk to me
Doesn't want to work it out
Shes ruthless
Tries to keep me from happiness
Which is him
And them
And that
Shes wise
But not understanding
Shes nice
But not concerned
Shes funny
But doesn't joke around
Shes great
But believes that too much
Shes above
But not as much as she thinks
Shes amazing
But is shocking in all ways
Shes my mother
But she didn't choose me
Aug 2015 · 591
Him.
SMILEY Aug 2015
I see greatness in him
I can imagine him moving mountains
Saving lives with his smile
He has power over me
At any point he could completely destroy me
I would be dead inside without him
Hes just what I need
All I need
All I have
It scares me
To think of all the possibilities
Good and bad
Change just isn't my thing

I miss him all day long
Every little thing reminds me of him
Every cute scene in a movie
Every couple I see
Ive never felt this way before
And I don't mind
Because I know that if I fall
He will be there to catch me
And lift me up as high as I can go
Drives me crazy..
Aug 2015 · 472
Possibly never?
SMILEY Aug 2015
My mind is blank of things to type on this screen
I have no inspiration
No rhythm
I haven't lost it all
Not quite yet
Its just drifting
And its time to go searching
Things just aren't the same anymore.
Jul 2015 · 308
Lately
SMILEY Jul 2015
I've been questioning
Our love
I've lost what it means
I want to find the source
But you messed up
And I get it
Its hard to wait
But aren't I worth waiting for
Its a selfish thing
To break someone's heart
To scar them
And ruin their future in a way
By making them fearful
Of the fall
Because the crash they've had
Jul 2015 · 316
Until Forever Ends
SMILEY Jul 2015
I wake up each morning
Earlier than usual
So I could talk with you
About anything
We could talk for days
And end up covering just a few topics

You tell me about how things are going
I give you advice
I tell you about how things are flowing
You say that's nice
I asked you about
That one night
What if
And you think it was right
What actually happened
You ask me how I see us in the future
I say I see eternity
You hope that's where we're going
And I agree
Jul 2015 · 265
Only better.
SMILEY Jul 2015
i'm crossfaded
because i'm drunk on love
while his love is my drug
Jul 2015 · 341
I've found gold.
SMILEY Jul 2015
When I'm by his side
Lightening looks like sunshine
A frown looks easy to fix
Breakage looks like a game
Happiness is an easy goal
Tears are bound to stop
Problems have a resolution

Nothing is impossible with him
He gives me wings
He makes me better
We are infinite
Jul 2015 · 663
I'm in Loaf..
SMILEY Jul 2015
By now
I'm in a different place
The place where I came from
And you're at the place where it all began
I think of you everyday
I can't stop imagining how it'll be
Once we're reunited
I miss you
I used to think that
I can't see myself without you

Well, here we are
Away from each other

I hope you don't ever forget about us
All those crazy things we've done
How strong we were when we were together
How much we made each other smile
It's the best thing I've ever had

And we haven't said goodbye
But see you later
We haven't seen an ending
But a pause
I love him with all my heart <3
SMILEY Jun 2015
This is serious
I’ll be gone in a few more days
And we become closer to each other everyday
We need to stop
Before the attachment is permanent
We are both still young
We might be seeing us as more than it really is
I mean
I hope so
Because once I’m gone
You’ll still be with me
And I’ll still be with you
Except I’ll be in a different place
A place that has no memories of us
While you’re in the place where it all started
I sorry
I don’t want to leave
Just because of you
But at the same time
I miss home
I hate everyone else here
You might be worth a longer stay
But that’s just a thought
A thought that comforts me when I think about
The pain I’ll be forced to feel
Once I’m gone
And we’re not together
I'll really miss him.
Jun 2015 · 520
Loaf.
SMILEY Jun 2015
Lets run away together
Lets fly together
Lets laugh at eachothers slurs
Let’s.

We can discover new things
We can buy 2 sprites at one A.M.
We can smoke that guys cigarette
We should

The cops wont matter
The consequences will be worth it
The lectures will be muted
The feeling will be strong

Just our feet
Just our adventures
Just the kisses
Just us
Just what I needed

Mouthing olive juice
To make it look like you said I love you
Blowing kisses when we’re separated
Making sure Im looking when you check me out
Wanting to hold my hand a certain way
You are the best
Lets do it again sometime
Ran away with him.
Jun 2015 · 325
Dont worry
SMILEY Jun 2015
(him)- How are you?
(Me)- I could be better, but who cant be..
(HIM)- If I can help you at all just ask
And true
But imagine
If you never wanted to feel better
Life would be boring.
The conversation I just had
Jun 2015 · 451
Needs
SMILEY Jun 2015
A bird
Cant fly without wings
Unbroken

A fish
Cant swim without fins
Unripped

A pair of legs
Cant run without motivation
Insight

A baby
Wont cry without a mom
Nurturing

A storm
Wont die without exiting
*Chaotically
Jun 2015 · 446
/
SMILEY Jun 2015
/
Its all redirection until somebody gets killed
Then its the end
I just read 'Of Mice and Men'
Jun 2015 · 337
Untitled
SMILEY Jun 2015
Less than three months left.
More than three months in.
To be sure of my day of getting back to reality
I just have to keep a good grasp onto
This smile Ive come fond of
I need to stick to doing it myself
And not waiting for someone
Or more likely
Some substance
Like a pill of some sort
Or the sticky stuff
Or the liquid stuff
The point is
I got this
And my job is to prove that
Stay on track
Put up with these druggies' ******* for a bit longer



And then
I'l be home.
Jun 2015 · 529
The lamest
SMILEY Jun 2015
They think theyre the best
The nit-pick my ****-ups
They must be looking in a broken mirror
So what I talk to that cute boy
So what I talk to all the other ones too
I could have friends
So leave me be
Let me be pretty without a price
But then youd be a lie
Youd be more fake than you are now
Youd have to get your own business to speak of
Youd have to find something else to look at
And your mind power is too weak
Too pathetic to keep to yourself
And stay out of my life
But just try, honey
It cant be too hard!
Just layer more paint on your face
We'll be alright
Jun 2015 · 390
My will stands. For you
SMILEY Jun 2015
I finally got your letter
Three pages
A hundred different topics
Your car
Your addiction
Your new scar
Your incident at work
Your boyfriend

Then there was that one part
That part when you wrote
You told me
You wrote
Dont worry
You wont ever lose me
That letter was soon covered
In teardrops

My love for you is over-flowing
And youre not here to soak any of it up
I feel as though we're in different worlds
And once I see you again
It'll be the worst
Time for me to ask of your guidance
Due to the possibility
Of your mind being fogged up
Completely

But Im willing
To be your two legs
Your mind for awhile
Until you get your **** together
Jun 2015 · 359
Can it be
SMILEY Jun 2015
Im not sure what to think anymore.
Was it all out of bore?
Did I just need something, someone ,
To pour my emotions out on
I hope its more than that
Im young
Im reckless
Worry lines are invisible
But my worries are clear
You might be the first
My first, truly
Theres been others
But none like you
It might all be unscrambled soon
Jun 2015 · 431
It only happens in dreams
SMILEY Jun 2015
I was on a swing
The chain attaching my seat to the pole
Was maybe a hundred feet
My rock was dull
Then someone came by
And pushed me forward on the back
My swing went so high up
It was better than those dreams
Of flying
I saw over the mountains
It was so nice


Until five-thirty wake up call.
Jun 2015 · 384
Speechless
SMILEY Jun 2015
My patience is chipping
It falls to the ground leaving marks
I can't
You've out-smarted me
Im done
You win
Good job
Im broken
And can only be put back together
With the glue of your love
May 2015 · 658
What the struggle. Isn't
SMILEY May 2015
We all go through rough times
And that's good
We need it
It helps us
Helps us learn
What to do
When we're lost
And can't open our eyes to see the light
Too afraid
All we see is night
No light to guide
And sometimes,
All we need
Is somebody
To hold the flashlight
Upright.
It's only as tough as you make it.
May 2015 · 480
For Honour<3
SMILEY May 2015
We knew each other in middle school
We exchanged not two words
But ***** looks was all we would do
It's still a mystery
We didn't know each other
But we assumed
We should just stay away
To prevent stronger disagreement

I think of it now
And I hate it
I hate how
It took so long
For us to realize
That was all wrong

Now
Here we are
Talking
Laughing
I love you
And I can't imagine
My life
Lacking your presence
Your whole self
You are
Greater than the sky
She's the best..
May 2015 · 466
Stumbling to her Destiny
SMILEY May 2015
Your label was
     ****-head
  For quite awhile
           But now
      I know
                You've realized
  My concern for your life
       Your lungs
               Your mind
   I know
           You're stumbling
                         Because you lost your way in the ice
           But now
     You're trying
                            Because you found the trail
                And the only thing you need to do
         Is stay on that trail
And don't turn your head
                       You will see the ice again
           But please promise me
                                     That you'll stay warm
                 And don't let the ice freeze away your brain
                               Because **I ******* love you
My sister..
May 2015 · 1.5k
This morning
SMILEY May 2015
I woke up
To my mind
Thinking of the powerful word
Corruption
And thats fine

Now
I don't know how
This has come
But I like the idea
Because I have the power
The power of causing corruption
But only in my own life

Unless
I waste my time
On a weak soul
Trying to ruin their time
Their ticking clock

Only
Because I am my own person
I have my soul in check
I'm ready
To watch corruption
May 2015 · 764
I will never forget
SMILEY May 2015
The touch of your lips remain in my memory
The soft sound of your whispers
The sensation of your hands
The feeling I get when you walk into the room

Its funny
The way I felt for you
Its hilarious
Then you let go of the unbreakable grip we held
Inseparable
And now I realize
It wasn't long
Until we were both alone
But this is the reason
You are something
About my life
I will never forget
May 2015 · 250
But she's taken.
SMILEY May 2015
It all began
When I looked into her eyes
They were almost unreadable
But I practiced my skills for them
Her smile was blinding
But worth becoming blind for
Her laugh
God I could never get over that laugh
It made me wish to be funnier

Then came the waves
The crashes
The cracks and falls of her and I
It can't be
We were perfect
But it turned out
She was the only perfect part of it all
We were never us
She was her own
And I was the only one that felt the
**love
Started it about one girl. Then looked over to the girl across me. She's the one to break me if anyone
May 2015 · 624
Embrace
SMILEY May 2015
They giggle
They glare
They think what they think

I smile
A prance
I do what I do
So boohoo
For the ones who ask permission
And need insight
To believe they're a person

There are people who **** out of their mouths
It's not my job to wipe for them
Be you.
May 2015 · 426
My Hero<3
SMILEY May 2015
The only reason I live
The only reason I love
The only reason I cry
The only reason I laugh
The only reason I believe
The only reason I'm here

You taught me how to be a person
And you're still going
I am your project
Your precious

I just wanted to let you know
You're my hero
And I beg of you
Never let go
Of this knowledge I remind you of every day
I love you
Every little thing about you
Oh, yes I do

Remember this
Don't let it slip your mind
When I tell you other wise
Because those are the things you're still there for
I'll be terrifyingly nice
Just as long as  
You never forget
You're my favorite person
It's my moms birthday.
May 2015 · 396
"Temporary"
SMILEY May 2015
I put myself here
You walked away
Got onto that airplane
All my actions finally caught up to me
The only thing to do now is wait
Home is just a thought
I have to earn you back
Patience is a struggle at this point
So close in my mind yet so far

The drugs remain in my mind and desire
But I have to fake it to make it
It's so hard to be fake when I've always been so real
This place get smaller every day
The noise and chaos more immense
Drama stirs every body's brains
Turns them into robots programmed to be the same
Hate the same person

I've become the odd one out
The one that's best at faking a smile
The hardest to annoy
I have no doubt
Not one ****
About these robots
I have the tools
My belt is on tight
It would take the world to take that away from me
I'm not the fool in this bunch of druggies
I'm the one with my mind right

But then I remember
I remember the definition of it all
Temporary
I keep in mind
I try to not forget
My dear home is there, awaiting my presence
My bedroom
My little sister, missing her pet
I miss my older sister
Her silence gives me company
My mother and that old lady twinkle in her eyes
And in her soul
It gets brighter each day
I miss the **** out of her

My mission here is passing the test
Re-glue my poker face each day
My mistakes have gotten me to a farm
That's what I get
People that also have poker faces
They are all known for taming the animals
My mission is becoming tamed
They won't know
I have to get from 50 miles per hour to just a crawl
That's it
That's all
Then I get to go
With out mistakes, 'wisdom' would just be a word..
May 2015 · 917
Hurting
SMILEY May 2015
You shot my heart out
I told you it'll be alright
It wasn't your fault
You didn't have to fight
Look at you now
You're addicted

I'm lost without your guidance
I need you to be the old you
I haven't talked to you since
The day you became homeless

I wish I could help
But I'm too hurt
And too afraid
To talk to your sunken in face
Your eyes all tired
You don't care
You're lost
A disgrace

I wish that I could hate you
Forget of your mistakes
Of your existence
But you're my sister
And I truly love you

We grew up together
We became best friends
But that's where our sisterhood got ****** over
You taught me the ways
The ways of living with no belief of an end
No belief of consequences
It's unfair
You're lost
While I'm close to my destination
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional

— The End —