Honey drips from my mouth,
an endless cascade of gold
sickly sweet and clingy viscous,
gluing my lips together in a
delicious wall of sugary words

and silence.

Pry it free from sticky amber,
let the bitterness flow instead
like angry bees exiting their hive.
Stingers made not of poison nor
vicious intent meant to harm,

but of brutal honesty.

i’m just a confused little girl
who has never been in love
who has never known how
to care for others but myself

but here i am, phone in hand
staring at my screen like
all the answers are there
waiting for your reply

the wait can seem long, foolish
but every response sends a thrill -
an electric shock to my heart
sends warmth through my bones

and thinking of you brightens my
seemingly pointless day with your
too small smile and knowing gaze
your excitable energy and quiet voice

is this love? or am i just a fool?
a fool who has fallen completely for
your unattainable thoughts and
your hidden scars and pains

i’m not sure anymore honestly
i’m the confused little girl after all
who has never been in love
but has always wanted to give it a try

so why not try now?

honey eyes and saccharine smiles --
flecked with secrets i'll never know
creased with laughter from long ago --
they greet me every morning
and turn my bones into glittering stardust
alive with the need to explore those
freckled constellations and
luring me into sweet temptation
to wander into the galaxy inside that
beautiful mind

a dance for two
just me and you
back and forth
back and forth
between bodies

singing along
to the same song
music flows
music flows
between hearts

a sweet melody
sets us free
out of time
out of time
between souls

a real connection
of pure affection
between bodies
between hearts
between souls
between us

i've never been good with crushes
never been good with
not getting attached to those i like

because when i fall for someone i leap
into a bottomless pit of
happiness and sadness entertwined

and when those feelings aren't returned
then where does this,
this useless crush, leave me? nowhere.

i am left with nothing to catch me
as i free fall into pain
a pain i hoped would never happen, but

i knew what was coming when i lept
i knew the risk i took
but still, it just hurts so **** much

because i've fallen for you
and i don't know how to stop
so i keep fallin' til i reach the end

looking into her brown eyes, i am reminded

of the hot chocolate i drink during those

chilly days, as winds whip around me in a

maelstrom of biting cold; her warmth flows

through my body, dethawing the frozen

heart i've kept covered in ice for so long

soft brown hair falls down her back as she
swings; back and forth, back and forth.
the metal chain creaks beneath her weight
higher and higher she flies above me,
while i can only watch in amazement.
she laughs, tells me to stop staring and start
swinging too, but I can only see her;
her and the sun that shines bright behind her
illuminating her figure in the sky like a bird:
beautiful and luminescent, gliding on clouds
humming sweetly and soaring freely
and even as i lay here, eyes closed and heart
slow, i can still see her silhouette flying,
pink lips grinning wide, ochre eyes twinkling
and for a little while i let myself grin too

the days are long and full with skies of gray
yet the smile you wear keeps the clouds at bay
though this may come as a common cliche
you are beautiful in every single way

hold my hands in yours, tell me what you feel
let me understand the you that you want to hide
give me a piece of yourself, something real
tell me what you love, all your joys and pride

days spent making you happy are never a waste
time with you is a gift I hold close to my heart
with every touch, my stomach seems to have misplaced
all the butterflies, as they fly high and depart

you draw me in 'til I know nothing but your grin
your lips, your voice, your name, and everything you are within

You with the brightest of sunshine yellows
Bold and bright, unafraid to show yourself
You were the sun
Her with the calmest of ocean blues
Intelligent yet soft, a beauty to behold
She was the sky
You tethered her to your side in the day
Then, carelessly, left her alone at night
Instead of love, you felt nothing but like
So instead you ignored her feelings
Without you, she would die
But without her, you would survive

Look away with those guiltless eyes
Whisper to me your most beautiful lies
To have and to hold when I'm under the stars
Beneath a sky that would always be ours
Give me the hope to carry on this feeling
Lend me the strength to stop concealing
Because I just can't do this on my own
Holding up our world when I'm all alone

Feel it boil over your skin
icy hot and raging within
burning embers of black coal
a flame to light your broken soul

Let it burn away the old
chase away the freezing cold
Let it swallow up the night
take away the dark for new light

There you go, like a live wire
sparking up a new desire
a beautiful inferno trapped in a jar
ready to burn, that's who you are

you never realize how far gone you truly are
until suddenly you're lying on the ocean floor
surrounded by water, water, and more water
but all you can taste is the salt of your tears
when what you really need is a breath of fresh air
to keep yourself afloat in your own watery grave

The world alight with brilliant flames
Crackling, roaring, and all-consuming
Slowly, slowly burning sun-kissed earth

Rusted copper and scalded vermilion
Tawny ochre and golden amber
A beautiful fire twisting, twirling its deathly dance

The blazing inferno destroys the world
Razing summertime's final last breath
With the charring remains of autumn once more

She stops and stares
arm raised, fist formed
breath quiet and foreboding

one knock is all it takes
yet moments pass
'til silence pushes her away oncemore

This is the tale of the little girl
that never wanted to grow
She only ever wanted to play
and to frolic in the meadow

As time passed by for the little girl
and as the flowers wither and die
all the little girl's friends grew up
and began to say goodbye

Without a friend to frolic with
the girl grew to be alone
Until she noticed with a shock
that like her friends, she had also grown

No longer wanting to prolong reality
the girl- now a woman left to find
new adventures in a world she once rejected
leaving the meadow of her childhood behind

Lonesome child all on her own
how sad to see she's all alone

Trapped inside a desolate home
too afraid to wander or roam

Lonesome child shadowed by gloom
locked inside her lonely tomb

As days that pass seem almost endless
the girl feels more isolated and friendless

Lonesome child who needs affection
why are you so afraid of rejection?

The love you seek is within your clasp
and yet you let it fall from your grasp

Lonesome child all on her own
how sad to see she's still alone

stand against the sun
stretch towards its hopeful rays
and just feel its warmth

The bridges we built with a desire to connect
Slowly rust down with habitual neglect

Weathered by sadness through salty tears
Broken down by accusations and continuous fears

A desolate structure made to last
Soon, a forgotten memory in the past

With love and care, it could have flourished
But when left too long in the dying sun, it perished

The glowing eyes of the monstrous beast
gleam with hunger for more information
more money, more censorship

more more more

If you want freedom of expression
there's a fine to pay
Didn't you know? Knowledge comes at a price

take take take

It sees what you see
It knows what you know and more
while hiding you within the shadows of ignorance

more more MORE

You have no unalienable rights that it won't take
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?
What a joke.

take take TAKE

A future full of more take than give
Is that what you want?
Or are you willing to fight for freedom?

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

In the night sky,
high above,
awaits the girl,
for her missing love.

Made of midnight,
and sewn of stars,
her heart in shatters,
scattered into shards.

She yearns for the boy,
who never shows,
her shards of heart,
filled with hope.

No matter how long,
her lover takes,
lonely forevermore,
she waits.

The water drips
down her pale face
hiding the tears
leaving not a single trace

And douses her body
with its cold clutch
cooling the scars
with a comforting touch

It washes away
the sadness and the pain
leaving nothing but a broken girl
to remain

In the tidal wave of sunrise,

when the clouds cleared

and the sun appeared


the world illuminated alight

in a fiery kaleidoscope

of a new day brimming on the horizon *****

What they don't understand
is that I need to feel broken
I need to destroy myself
instead of those around me

Because how do I feel
unless I cut cut cut
Cut away the emotions
and cover it with pain

The scars may not disappear
nor the endless grief
but at least for a moment
it will all fade away

A ticking time bomb
Destructive for all
That is all I am
and that is all I'll ever be

In need of a heart
of any kind
a beautiful heart
never broken before

In need of a heart
neither old nor wise
naive, like mine once was
until it aged with time

In need of a heart
bursting to the size
with love and laughter
not shriveled with tears

In need of a heart
filled with dreams not reality
brimming with ambition
to make the world a better place

In need of a heart
any heart at all
to replace this heart
that knows only emptiness

Alone in the world

we roam endlessly

searching to find the one dream

that we can chase desperately

and can either try

and hold onto incessantly

or stop, let go

and give up eventually

As the swing moves back and forth
and takes me higher and higher
I reach upwards
towards the unfathomable blue sky
and let myself soar
wishing for my wings to appear
so that I can leave the lingering ground and all its worries
and finally be engulfed by the clouds

I love the way your eyes twinkle
with joy when you're proud
I love the way your mouth crinkles
as you laugh, booming and loud

I love the way you clean my mess
when I'm too lazy to care
I love the way you put up with my sass unless
I'm being especially unfair

I love the way you can find
whatever I have lost
I love the way you always remind
me of things I seem to have forgot

Lastly, I love the way you know
I love you, even when I never say so

I love you, Dad

L’appel du vide

The call of the void
Is a deadly call indeed
Scary and sudden
It can lead to temptation

Like the forbidden fruit
Giving fruition to feelings
Twisted to most
But alluring to some

What if you...?

No, you shouldn't.

Fear the the dark call
For it comes unexpectedly
At the most inopportune time

A gaping chasm
Swallowing all other thoughts
Instantaneous and all-consuming
L’appel du vide

Tell me, Romeo, why did you love Juliet?
Was it her eyes made of shining sapphires
or the silken waves of her golden crown?

Or better yet, was she only an object you couldn't have?
A blooming rose, covered in poisoned thorns
Promising danger and death with one simple kiss

Why did you let her venom spread through your veins?
A forbidden, poisonous love bringing only destruction
Yet you smiled and watched as it consumed your soul

Was she worth all the pain and the lies?
The broken shards left behind in your foolish escapades
Abandoned for both families to piece back together once more in your wake

Where did it all begin?
Did you start at the beginning
Or were you in the middle before you even knew what was happening?

Your love was doomed from the start
And yet you loved her until your last dying breath
Tell me, Romeo, why did you love Juliet?

A chilly resolve spreads through my veins
Like ice cold water, freezing my pains

My defenses close in, shielding my tattered soul
From the endless frays that have taken their toll

This quilted heart made of hurt and despise
Is hidden away in a carefully crafted disguise
Of carefree happiness and faraway eyes
Never giving way to the pain and the lies

The truth is a reminder I long to forget
Yet truth remains, forever beset

And though I grow weary, the icy wall remains tall
Impossible to breach, keeping away any and all

The ghosts from my past
Follow my footsteps

The demons haunting my mind
Infect my thoughts

The skeletons in my closet
Rattle against my bones

And always in the end
There your shadow waits
To welcome me home

Frost layers the branch,

Withering the tree away,

Killing it slowly.

maybe someday far off
where they didn't know
loss tasted of tears
and sacrifice like decay
where they could be
instead of what they are
maybe then they could
hope for the impossible

Doubts are our chains,
determination, our key.
Use the key to unlock the locks,
or you will never be free.

Sewn into the sky
Patterns of fire and light
Singing of new life

with shaking fingers my grip
slackens from the steering wheel

mind free of all cares
heart bursting with joy

the car moves forward
answering my desire

taking me somewhere
anywhere but here

pain unfurls in my chest
a reminder of loss
that will
never
go
away
even when forgotten
forever branded into my mind
eternally scarred into my heart

The beast watches from afar
yet close enough for me to sense its presence
like a cat watching a mouse
a predator closing in on its prey

It whispers into my ear
taunting me with  fears and doubts
while I can only listen
and act like nothing is wrong

It disappears for a while
as I strengthen and lull into false security
until it strikes once more
with its harsh words and painful accuracy

I can't run from the beast
because no matter where I go
it always finds me
and reminds me just how broken I truly am

What do you do,
when the path ahead,
is filled with thorns,
and may never lead anywhere?

What do you do,
when all that is behind,
is a gaping hole,
the abyss called despair?

Do you move forward,
and hope for the best?
Believe a false hope,
that may only end with darkness?

Or do you give up?
Let yourself fall,
and be engulfed completely,
by the empty never-ending hopelessness?

But then isn't it better,
to have hope,
even if the journey is harsh and not easy,
even when the ending unknown?

Even if the results may be unkind,
and the aftermath painful.
Isn't that better than to be left in the sadness,
cold, alone, and hollow

is it wrong of me to
wish for rain
without a rainbow?

with every splatter of
forgotten tears my hope
for colors dissipates

i know it hurts
the pain, the scars
i know

i can see it
in your eyes
clear as day

but you should know-
no, you need
to know

how much i
understand
that pain

the pain
to live knowing
the scars never heal

i know it
i understand it
i live it

and you will too
but not alone
not like this

i'm here
i'll always be here
for you

i'll wipe
your tears
when they fall

i'll listen
to the fears
you hide

because
you're not
alone

we're here
together
and that's fine

Shrouded in shadows
nightmares await to invade
our most cherished dreams

Blossoms of color
fill the world with sweet beauty
spreading happiness

A snowflake's first waltz
twirling in the masquerade
its first and last dance

with furry paws,
she climbs into my lap
settling in for a long night

she stares silently,
gaze soft with understanding,
as she watches me cry into her fur

Within these four walls
lies a child's hope
protected from a world
full of shattered dreams

Within these four walls
comes the silent cries
of a broken soul
wanting the pain to go away

Within these four walls
whispers of secrets are found
hidden in plain sight
never to be heard

Within these four walls
silence swallows all
consuming the life
in endless loneliness

Within these four walls
fears are made true
by infectious nightmares
creeping in the shadows

A sweet parting on her tongue
From her last breath, she drew
She whispered, "Never forget me."
I thought, 'How could I forget you?'

She smiled as if she had heard me
Then accepting death, she reached towards the sun
Like a flower, she once bloom'd
But now Spring was finally done