Some mornings are darker than the nights.

There's a monster in the mirror
When I lean in closer he comes near
I wonder why no one else can see
You must've known to some sort of degree
I'm not the person you think you know
You should've ran long ago
I know your secrets, why aren't you scared?
Did you really think that I actually cared?
I stare right into the monsters eyes
They look so kind, trusting and wise
Don't you know? That's their disguise
When will you finally realise?
I'm not the person you think you know
That person died long ago

In the gardens of hell
The people may call
For a soul to sell
Your blood will begin to crawl
The screaming you'll hear too loud
The pain you inflict so true
When at the top of the crowd
You become anew
It's not you anymore
The roles are reversed
It shakes you to your core
You're at your worst
So many cursed
But this time it's your fault
You begin to thirst
You're the assault

I've never felt this way before
I've felt depressed, alone, empty
I've wanted to end my life multiple times
And I've tried to as well
But today It's different
Right now, It's different
If in the past
I have tried knowing I wouldn't go through with it
Or I wouldn't succeed
Because I didn't actually want to die
But right now I know
That If I went downstairs
And took that knife
Or took those pills
Or that rope
I would go through with it
And I know that If I do that
I won't be alive tomorrow
And for the first time
I'm scared
I'm scared of myself
Because I want to do that
I really do
But I also don't because I want the chance to fall in love
I want to know
What love feels like
I want to know
What a proper hug feels like
I want to know
What It's like to live
Without being in constant fear of something
Of someone...
I want to feel something other than sadness
Or emptiness
Before I die
I want to know what being happy feels like
But I'm scared
I probably won't live to see tomorrow
Because right now
I want to die
And I know I will go through with it this time