My heart was buried with you that day
I was left numb
Holding the weight of the emptiness
That space were you were not
That space where joy had left
I walked around on autopilot
A faint outline of me
Just visible on the surface
With a burning, crippling pit inside
I was beyond the muddy puddle
I was face down
At the bottom of the murky river
Surrounded by darkness
Slowly sinking into the mud
With the weight of my tears
Like a fallen tree holding me down
I was not trying to get up
Because I had no strength to
No will power
If I never came back up
I would only see you sooner
Was the only comfort I could see
You spoke to me
Clear as day
And you used that serious voice
Only used for serious things
And you said
And I will never forget
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare. There are good things to come.”
And like a bolt of lightening
Shot into my chest
I pushed my head out of the water
With a breath of life
And you offered me back the empty jar that was my heart
Consumed and assimilated,
Into the shadow of hatred.
Filled with roses colored red.
I am just filled with dread.
Of what I'm facing ahead.
Is it love or hate or both?
Can I call this love?
If I want to care for you,
When you're broken?
Or am I just desperate?
To taste that youthful romance?
These budding feelings...
Must be purged! It is just wrong!
To take advantage...
Because you're vulnerable.
And I am deprived of love.
How did this happen?
I found you the same as me;
We thought we were all alone,
In our pain and suffering.
Now it's time to hide.
To erase myself from here,
Under the moonlight.
I shall keep my heart locked shut.
Bitter, we will just be friends.
I'm starting to question my sanity as I am leaning over this ledge. A brand new start yet a situation all too familiar. This has happened before and I am keen to never risk it until the world forces me to. I'm in dangerous waters and I can never leave.
I cry blood-soaked tears,
My soul writhes in agony,
As my arms touch you.
I am merely a human,
A spectrum of emotion.
To whom shall I owe-
My own rationality?
To feel and even not feel,
I own my conscience, my name.
A two-fold tanka (5-7-5-7-7) that showcases “cor et anima” or the heart and soul. Touches upon the subject of emotion, rationality, and conscience.
My ****** unrequited love will come to an end!
Through a year of heartache and seething bitterness;
Wallowing in my despair of falling in love.
The truth is a cruel unforgiving mistress.
Feigning ignorance ended in damning remorse!
Sundered hearts and sundered souls are love’s currency,
So may it be paid in full; may we meet again.
A seven-line poem that corresponds to a week (MTWTFSS) with twelve syllables per line which represents a year (twelve months). I want to move on but my hesitations are still here.
Searing into my ****** mind!
Yet the flame dies down…
Disappearing like a ghost,
Leaving me an empty husk.
A tanka of a flame burning out…
do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you
Is this depression?