You've ruined the beauty of eyes for me
I decided yours were unrivaled to any other
That there could never be a sight so pure
Even as you walked away that icy hue stayed in my mind
Perhaps that is why I do not like the color blue
It sends shivers down my spine and makes me think of you
I lay in my bed with the soft white light
Seeping in through the curtained windows
I open my eyes to the world
Seeing the sun where the stars once were
All is calm and quiet
And for that one moment
That one, sweet moment
I breathe in blissfully
And lay in peace before all my memories
Come rushing back into my mind
I long to pull you to my chest
To see you through your darkest night
To hold you tight till you forget
That I’m not meant to see you cry
it's going to go bad over time
to my pessimistic frame of mind
Maybe one day we’ll wake up
And all these will be a prologue
Then the real story begins
as vast as the galaxy
with stars swarming
like a blanket of cloth
with twinkling dots of threads
we roam the earth
with hearts individually beating
with breaths individually taken
and in the middle of the crowd
is me, thinking of the statistics
seven billion people in the world
and i chose to love
thinking of that one person, again and again, like an after-thought that lingers until i cry these feelings all out
// july 2015
There's something so powerful
about looking up at the night sky
and knowing that all the mistakes you made today and yesterday are gone.
At the end of the day
you are still
You think your mistakes are big, but they are so so small.
Forgive me if my pain has touched you in ways my hands never have
You’ve got wounds I should have kissed gently and fire beneath your skin
Instead I bought you flowers you’re allergic to and wrote poems about your tears
Some days I tend to over-romanticise your bleeding lips that you never stop biting
Other days I can’t stand the way your lips curve when you laugh and the freckles on your hands
I’m a mess but believe me when I say my hands are clean
I’m just trying to love you
Even if it’s the wrong way
I hope you get the message
A fake floating feeling
Of my fleeting fantasy.
This insidious infirmity
Isn't what I intended.
I've been inflicted
With internal indisposition.
In need of an ideal identity.
Who am I without
This ****** to make me whole?
How do I heave my heart
Away from this hole?
Have you seen how hard this is?
But it's been short of a year,
Of believing I can simply be.
And before I break
Bleed me of my bane.
And for me, bear no malice.
Tightly take me
Away from my terible tempest.
Time tells me it's time to stop.
Too long I've tortured my tenemet.
Tame the tantrum tearing through me.
Sober seems strong,
But it's systematic survival.
Stopping the surrender
To something stimulating.
Learning to stand sedated.
No I'm no longer numb.
No longer neglecting me need
For new novcane.
Knowing I'll never need
This vaccine again.
You are all my ambition.
Dispelling my ailments
I am hard to adore, I know.
You are my new addiction.
You have me dreaming,
Praying we are real.
Made me feel.
Don't decieve my brittle belief.
Keep me, don't leave.
I'm not the kind to fly.
For you i'd try to dive.
Unafraid I might die.
I don't hide from the night.
This is what I've been trying to find.