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Mari Feb 26
14
Back then- as your younger sister
I looked up to you;
I expected you to show me right from wrong
And I expected you to look after me
To teach me how to fend for myself
Because one day no one else would
Instead you did the opposite
You violated me, humiliated me, Scarred me
and made me afraid in my own home
Your touch sent my body trembling
My skin crawling
Trying to get away but too petrified to move
I felt disgusted
Not only with what you did
But for what I didn’t do
I was ashamed
that I was too much of a coward
to stop you, or to try to
I was ashamed
that I was to much of a coward
To take it to court
But I couldn’t look at you
I didn’t want to be in the same room as you
Because Just feeling your eyes on me
I felt stripped and vulnerable
*****, bc i can still feel your hands all over me
And I felt ******- sitting there in the tub
Aching to feel pure again
And for the first time in my life
I was scared to touch my own body
Terrified to touch the same areas you touched;
But you touched every part of me that morning
After finally getting the nerve to clean myself
I didn’t want to stop
But no matter how hard I scrubbed
I couldn’t scrub away the feeling of your filthy fingers again my terrified trembling skin.
I can never look at you the same since that day.
Mari Feb 24
I'm just a ****** person.
Broken hearted,
Full of bad puns, and chipper acts
whilst suffocating myself in nicotine
and choking up whiskey;
but I'm gonna love myself some day.
Mari Feb 23
At 2am when you’re laying next to him
Im laying with my thoughts
Rethinking what I’ve lost
Overthinking what I’ve done
I wonder do you care for him
The way he cares for you?
Do you care for him
The way I do?
While he lays beside you
Does your heart skip a beat?
Can you even sleep?
Does he stand behind you
Looking in the mirror
Arms wrapped around you
“Look how cute we are together”
Does he feed you
The same lines he fed to me?
When all I want is to feel enough
I think “somebody better”
But my mind begins to wander.
I’ll bet your skin is softer than mine...
I’m sure he loves the taste of your lips
And the smell of your hair...
I wish he’d talk to me like he used to-
He is everything you hope for in a guy
and I had him for a bit.
He was good for me,
But in the end
I wasn’t good enough for him.

— The End —