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India Hares Oct 2017
It's ten to two
I'm still up, still talking to you
We had another fight
Getting you back is now even further out of  sight

It wasn't your fault it was mine t
No it was wrong place wrong time
Whatever it was it broke us
I messed up and I lost your trust
I wrote this a while back and never thought to publish it. But now being in a good place with my boyfriend and looking back on all that pain it finally
India Hares Sep 2017
He makes me feel beautiful
Which I have never felt before
I've always had my doubts and could never be too sure
Cause they told me I was ugly
They told me I was fat
They joked about me and never had regrets

And I sat there and I laughed it off but it hurt me inside
So bad that I got off the bus and ran straight to my room to cry
And I got on my knees and prayed at my window and asked the lord
"Why is this happening to me?" and it started when I was four
And yes, I still remember that far back
Cause being bullied is it's own feeling of being jumped or attacked

And he makes me feel beautiful
Cause he looks me in my eyes and tells me that I am and I can tell it's not a lie...
Because instead of posting pictures I have edited and cropped
And having boys tell me I'm pretty through messages in my inbox...

He makes me feel beautiful
Cause he means what he says
And a few other people have told me I am cute but I thought they were just kidding
Cause I have programmed myself to thinking my beauty is forbidden
Which means that I could never be a girl that is praised
For her good looks, her perfect body, and her Aphrodite face.

He makes me feel beautiful
Cause even though I have flaws
He accepts them and makes me feel like I have none at all
So maybe I am pretty and I am starting to think better
Of myself instead of looking in the mirror with a look so bitter

He makes me feel beautiful
And when he tells me so with such a serious voice, I get chills
Cause he's the first person that hasn't made me feel completely ill
By insulting or pointing out one of my many imperfections
But instead trying to help get rid if that negative venom
That people have slowly injected into my mind
Making my optimism die slowly over time
Making me get violent and defensive and making me less kind
To the point I get a rush to commit a deadly crime

Then they say I'm crazy and continue with the names
It's a cycle, a stupid circle, a horrible made up game
That has expanded to the point where death is how you win
And I would of won this game if it wasn't for my kin

He makes me feel beautiful outside and in
So I wrote this in dedication to that special him
For helping me realize more than ever in my life
That maybe I am beautiful and I've been this way for a very long time...
The way he makes me feel
India Hares Sep 2017
I wish I was a lighter I
that touched the clouds as they rolled by
and on the wings of joy I'd fly
far into the bluest sky

I wish that I had held it strong
held it true as we went along
and when the night came I was brave
and fought the shadows from my cave

But I lost my heart one day
in your smile as you drove away
and madness then consumed my mind
I was wrong, I was blind

because in you hope I saw
false as every time before
and I tried to cage you like a bird
with writing out my pretty words

I wish I was as cold as snow
cooled beneath an arctic wind
with frozen blood that could not feel
and no need to make me heal

I wish that I could see the lies
wedged with wires in my mind
I was not yours and you weren't mine
We are angels of a different kind

I wish that I could fix this mess
my insanity made my deeds digress
because its hard to let go of someone I touched
who told me that he loved me so much

If I could go and fix the past
and make it better, make it last
I would be my closest friend
a hero that won in the end

But time can't bend back to repair
it's sealed and done forever there
and we are all just broken clocks
chained within and sealed with locks

And you were just a passer by
on a break, saying hi
And I was looking for a missing piece
or maybe just some pain relief

I've been unfair and been unkind
you did not deserve to see my despair
but you responded with human care
I think somehow you understand

And I will be well in the end
as I always get up again.
Maybe my final poem
India Hares Sep 2017
Everyday I try to hold onto hope,
But I always end up thinking about hanging myself from a rope,

Unreal it seems most of the time,
But I try to calm myself down, hearing the melodious chimes,

Perplexity prevails as I try to stand up,
I never could tell if it could be this tough,

    Disaster ,disaster, everywhere
   Now I end up saying
  "I don't care"
Emotions rn
India Hares Sep 2017
What happened to the "I won't do anything you don't want me to"
What happened to the "okay, I trust you"

What happened to the time it took?
An hour for you're eyes to have a different look.

How did it turn to "do to love me?"
How did it turn to you stealing my virginity?
How did it turn to you not stopping
How did it turn to ******* cherry popping?

You saw my tears
You saw my fears
You saw that I didn't want to
But yet yourself you still drew.

You heard me when I said no
But your mind heard go?

It might been better if you had waited a few
But what happened to "I won't do anything you don't want me to do"
My story
India Hares Aug 2017
What's the cost to be pretty?
I'm fat
My stomache is out of place they say
Don't eat
I want to look in mirror and be happy
People shouldn't tease me because I'm not skinny
be skinny
Who cares if I'm unhealthy
That's what it takes to be pretty
This is disgusting that I felt like this enough to write it ofur months back
India Hares Aug 2017
You think I haven't done anything
To ease the pain that you're enduring.
But my darling,
to return the love that you're giving,
I tried, believe me, I tried.

All those efforts that I've made
To make this affection remain
My love, can't you see it?
I tried, believe me, I tried.

You think I didn't do anything,
Just to be with you,
talking and laughing.
do you think I'm lying?
I tried, believe me, I tried.

All the walls that I've built,
To protect our relationship from fading
Don't think that I didn't fight for it
I tried, believe me, I tried.

Now that you're not here with me
I am left here,
hopeless and lonely.
Now is the time to escape from the past
But I won't try, believe me,
I won't try.
Tried on a repeat instead of rhyming? Don't know
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