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Meadow Jan 2021
What
Does one do
When
They love someone
They can never be with
Asking for a friend
Meadow Sep 2020
Im afraid.
One day you’ll leave
I know it.
Yet I fall deeper in love with you by the day
You say you’ll stay
But I know you won’t
Its the same with everyone
They come
We have our fun
They leave
Its a never ending cycle of pain
Normally I’d brush it off
But with you?
I know it’ll destroy me
God I’m so afraid
Of what will happen to me
If I lose you
I’ll lose me.
And that cant happen again
I wrote this forever ago and yo ***** was right
Meadow Sep 2020
You don’t want to be like him
You can’t
But god you crave
The feeling of the bottle pressed to your lips
The bitter taste as it runs down your throat
You remember his rage filled eyes
As he threw things at the wall next to you
His screaming only getting louder
As you sat and watched in fear
You try and run
But he blocks the doorway
Stumbling towards you
You close your eyes tight
Not knowing what else to do
Everything goes silent
You open your eyes
To find yourself
Sitting on the floor
With an empty bottle in your hand
Meadow Oct 2020
I close my eyes
And I only see you
I can never get you out of my mind
I try and i try
Yet
You roam my mind like your palace
So i lie here
Awake
Meadow May 2020
He’s perfect
They say perfect
Is impossible
But with him?
I believe, there’s such a thing as
beyond
perfect
The little smiles
Or the way he gets happy
When dancing in the rain
Oh this boy
He’s perfect
No
He’s beyond.
Perfect.
In every little way
Meadow Aug 2020
Im a butterfly
Not because I’m graceful or pretty
No.
But because if you touch me
I crumble
I try and fly away
From dangers way
But his hands still grab at me
Nobody
Touch
Me
He touched me first
Even after I tried flying away
So now you touch me
And I fall to your feet
In fear
Meadow Jun 2020
I try.
I really do.
It may not seem like it
Because I’m not doing as much as the next,
But I really am
I’m sorry its not good enough
I’m sorry
IM
NOT
GOOD
ENOUGH
I’m trying
But at this point
All I’m getting
Is failure
FWB
Meadow Dec 2020
FWB
I miss you.
I know I shouldn’t
We were just messing around
Having our fun
Fulfilling our need for touch
But I miss you
Sure I miss the way you taste and feel
But
I miss the way you look
The way you sound
The way you smell
I miss the way you would hold me
I miss the feeling of our eyes locking
And our hearts synchronizing
I know
God I KNOW
I shouldn’t feel like this
Because I know you don’t feel the same way
Ahaha yeah so there’s that
Meadow Apr 2021
You ghosted me
But I’d like to think
You’re the one struggling
Because I sure as hell couldn’t give a ****
About you
Meadow Sep 2020
I looked in the mirror and I didn’t see me.
I saw a girl in oversized clothes
And bags under her eyes
With pills in one hand
And a beer in the other
What happened to her?
What happened the the girl who used to read
To the girl who would go out and party with her friends
The girl who only got high off of happiness
Where did she go
I miss her
I miss me
The girl who enjoyed her life instead of wishing her end would come sooner
I miss the girl
I used to see in the mirror
Meadow Aug 2020
I hate you
For letting me love you
When you never loved me
Meadow Jun 2020
I’m always the go-to person
You come talk to me,
I’ll give you advice,
I’ll comfort you
I help everyone around me
Even though I can’t help myself
I wait for the day someone
Offers to help
Instead of brushing it off their shoulder
So I sit
I’m crumbling
No
Crushing
Inside
I help you,
But who helps me?
This was in my drafts for awhile so bare with me😂
Her
Meadow Oct 2020
Her
She smiles
And i melt
The way she tucks her hair
Behind her ear
When she’s nervous
Or the way her eyes soften
When we talk
God this girl
She gets flustered easily
And i cant help but smile
The way this girl gets to me
Makes my heart ache
For her
Guys I’m ******* simping
Meadow Jan 2021
You ****** ***
Meadow Jan 2021
May you **** less *** than 2020
Meadow Jan 2021
yesterday
our tongues collided
nobody else mattered
today
our tongues stay quiet
everyone else matters
Meadow Sep 2020
Her eyes
Were like honey
Shining bright
While running through my mind
Her lips
Tasted
Like honey
My mouth lingering a bit longer
Her touch
God her touch
Was like honey
Smooth and gentle
Everywhere she went
Brought simple pleasure
And sweetness
Into my life
Meadow Jan 2021
If I die
Tell my brother
He’s why
I lived longer
Than I planned
Meadow Dec 2020
Stop romanticizing mental illness.
It’s that simple.
Stop acting like because you had a bad day, youre depressed.
Depression is more than that.
It’s not brushing your teeth, or showering, or even getting dressed  for weeks because you simply cant find the motivation to do so.
Stop acting like self harm is someone holding you telling you everything will be okay because they saw you harm yourself.
Self harm is more than that.
It’s sitting in your bedroom with the door locked.
Sobbing. Mutilating your body because you have such hate for it and a lifetime reminder of what happened, stuck on your body.
Anorexia isn’t politely denying dessert
Anorexia is more than that.
It’s weeks of hunger because you arent your ideal weight. It’s sobbing in the bathroom wanting to eat but knowing if you do, you fail.
PTSD isn’t just a war flashback that pops in your head and leaves, as you continue on your day.
PTSD is more than that .
It’s waking up in the middle of the night screaming in fear, your mind telling you everything is happening once again. It’s having a flashback in the middle of doing something and completely stopping, unable to move on with your day, stuck with the reminder as if you’re reliving it.
Anxiety isn’t being shy with a shaky leg.
Anxiety is more than that.
It’s feeling as if your lungs are collapsing, the room is spinning, and you feel as if the walls are closing in. It’s scratching youre arms or picking your nails to the point of bleeding because youre so anxious.
Stop romanticizing mental illness.
Stop joking about mental illness.
It’s more than what you think.
Not really a poem but yk. I only did things i have personally experienced because i didnt want to inform people i wasnt sure of what it felt like personally, so if anyone would like to add a continuation in the comments, feel free
Meadow Dec 2020
I miss the taste of your lipgloss
The sticky feeling on my tongue
When our mouths collided
The intensity increasing
That all started from a single kiss
Nobody else in that moment mattered
I wish now
That I had held onto that moment longer
I know you probably never think about that night
But it’s all I ever do
Throwback to a party I made out with this random girl at like 1am and now she’s one of my closest friends
Meadow Sep 2020
I’m trapped
There’s no escape
I’m suffocating
In my own silence
Drowning in fear
That I caused
Meadow Dec 2020
I loved you
I lost you
But I never really had you to begin with
Meadow Feb 2021
You think you know me
Because you’ve seen my naked body
But you don’t
Because I refuse to let you see
My naked soul
Meadow Aug 2020
Water flows
Trees grow
But all i want
Is a bottle of pills
Just to ****
The demons living inside me
Meadow Feb 2021
All that time away
And I haven’t thought of anything
To post
Meadow Jun 2020
I can’t sleep
I don’t eat
Correction.
I won’t sleep
I won’t eat
I won’t do anything
I hold fear in my eyes
That you’ll appear
You run through my mind,
Conscious or not
I can’t shake your words away
Or the feeling
Of your hands
On.
Me.
You get in my head somehow
Without even being around
I don’t leave the house
In fear of seeing you
Other than what my mind already does
On repeat.
Never ending.
Pain.
Meadow Oct 2020
Let me be selfish
Let me dress how i want
Let me eat how i please
Let me love who i love
Please
Let me be selfish for once
Stop telling me how to live
And let me be selfish
Meadow Dec 2020
College.
Meadow Sep 2020
You need space
You need a break
Why?
Am i so much of a burden that you had to leave me uncertain
If I’m even important to you
Or just something you could do?
Meadow Oct 2020
I look at her
And i cant help but smile
Everywhere she goes
She shines
A ball of energy  
Bringing joy to everyone around her
She’s beautiful
God
She’s stunning
And every little thing she does
Makes me glad to call her
My
Sunshine
Meadow Jun 2020
The days get longer and longer
Yet we do nothing
Eat.
Work.
Sleep.
Repeat.
They say life is worth living
But why?
There’s nothing I’m living for
Other than the absence of life itself
Meadow Jan 2021
the future was supposed to be good
with flying cars
and dogs that talked
instead
we get a world of people killing one another
for things they can't control
towns set on fire because
black lives matter
no one is illegal
gay marriage is a right
women are powerful
and people can't see it
so we walk through fire
to fight for the freedom we were promised ages ago
having major writers block i wrote this in june
Meadow May 2020
People say it washes away your pain
I suppose, even makes you happy
But only for limited time
When you get so high
After a point all there’s left to do is fall
Fall
Fall hard and get hit in the face with pain yet again,
even.
harder.
It’s a funny idea you’d think
Why get high if you only get hurt?
You see,
We would rather be able to enjoy slight happiness even if it means we fall,
Because at least we can say we left the bottom
Meadow Sep 2020
The sky is on fire
Yet I only see you
I can’t stop staring
Your beauty draws me in
I want to get closer,
But one touch
And you’ll simply fade away
Meadow Dec 2020
I should’ve eaten less
I should’ve exercised more
Meadow Dec 2020
My arms are cut and bruised
But I keep looking
To remind myself of the pain
Maybe if I think of the pain I wont need to hurt myself anymore
But I still continue
Why the hoodie?
Oh I’m just cold
It’s like
I just need one more to feel better
But its one more,
Over and over again
I dont know how to stop
But at the same time
I dont think i want to
This **** isn’t for attention i just need to get it out there ya know? Lol I’m vibing tho
Uhm
Meadow Dec 2020
Uhm
You ever just.
Yeah.
Peak of my writing skills
Meadow Dec 2020
I’m tired of being hungry
But I’m tired of not fitting the standards of my body
Why
Meadow Sep 2020
Why
Its getting bad again
I don't know what to do
Falling to the ground without a clue
As to why
Why
I’m still alive
Meadow Dec 2020
I’m not an addict.
I’m not.
I’m not.
I’m not.
Just one more sip
One more hit
I can’t take it
I’m not an addict.
I’m not.
you
Meadow Jan 2021
you
every
*******
thing
reminds
me
of
you
especially
your
eternal
absence

— The End —