Feeding stray dogs from abandoned
benches , counting cars to feed active clinical obsessions
Wrapped in Dad's trench coat , focused on a city sidewalk
Running fingers through unkempt beard , growing old ,
bits and pieces falling away , hopefully leaving a trail for my children to track me down someday
Screaming ****** of Crow overlooking my chosen boulevard
They tell tall tales and cackle , aware of my biting score
A fluttering , wind racked Gideon Bible with relevant verse circled
in blue ink lying on front steps , my reflection in black Army boots ,
my craven public image and disparity vociferously unaddressed* ...

.

What the hell is wrong with me,
where does this circus come from
Three rings that seem to open new tents in my mind
Dark tents filled with wild and dangerous thoughts,
pacing in a cage, waiting to be released
Yeah, you just try and make me
jump through one of those fiery hoops,
see where your head ends up and where
that whip is shoved

Sawdust everywhere as I parade around
Fluffing my feathers, thinking I know,
Proud ain’t even close to how I feel
as I swing from the trapeze,
sequins glistening,
looking for the meaning, the why
I keep asking why…why as I once again
light the fuse with cotton candy fingers,
shot from a cannon, screaming,
there is no net, not for me, not for these thoughts

Open this door and let me out,
I’m stuffed in this little car
with a bunch of clowns, painted on smiles
big floppy shoes and ****, they are all me
(Send in the clowns, I hate that song)
and I hate these thoughts
Juggled about, like so many *****
flying through the air, never touching the ground
and there they are, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
children of all ages, staring, laughing, pointing,
shoveling popcorn in their faces
then running in fear as these thoughts
escape confinement once again

Don’t you get it, can’t you see,
this is real, this is me
I love, I love deeply, I can’t guess your weight
but I can feel you rummaging for tickets
in my heart and all I have is for you
Free admission, stop by the petting zoo,
Share a branch with a giraffe, share
Share, wow, maybe that’s it,
maybe that’s why I smile
when the tents come down
heading for another place

another town

another time

send out the clowns

.

I’m usually sad when it rains

and as I walk today

all alone

feeling it hit
my shoulders

like so many tear drops

I understand why

Blue cover , incommunicado
Wiregrass incense , cool shadow
Nibbling a long bit of **** fescue
No fires that need tending , no friends to "rescue*"

These denizens of creation
fall short in our bifurcated minds..
We render ourselves
as the conscious ones
find disfavor on those below..
Yet now with a quantum question
we ask who is conscious
and consulting our experience
which is always at ready
an answer returns:
not dogs, not cats, not plants or rocks
and amazingly not our divided selves..
The quantum question receives its answer:
only consciousness is conscious..
This fearful response
settles into freedom
for all those dogs and cats and all...