I still move clouds, I chalk my hands and wipe their sorrow from your way. I still wait on that same hill to be the first to see you open your eyes to let the sun warm the water. In most thoughts I am aware of your absence, you've smiled for someone else. And in most thoughts, I know you still are. The hardest happiness I'll ever know is this: You will always exist in me. Your housing cheeks, giving shelter to your pillow lips. Your tear drop prisms always led me straight to them, so close, when our noses touched, I'd melt. Satin for fingers, entwined, and the taste of ecstasy was all over you. I ran my breath from your peace shaped collar bone to your perfect hips and I locked my hands. I lined your entire body with my punctured lips leaving and taking pieces of you and I on every inch of what held us together. And then, I kissed you once, and then again, and you quaked and I let you, and I couldn't look away from you. My eyes were fitting, the shape of the rest of my life laid in front of me, a space that without you, will remain so, darling.

I hadn't heard the wind blow in a few weeks. I bricked myself within the eight walls of my cell, I turned off the lights, and I drowned in the dark. Nothing protruding other than glimpses of my rafters, and two sets of stairs on either side of me, but I wouldn't dare use them. In fact, I had soon forgotten they even existed, I was blind to any escape from the infinity surrounding me. I couldn't breathe without poisoning myself, and I couldn't swallow without glass bottles prying my lips from each other. Repetition became an excuse, re-reading the tales trailing the left side of my left arm, rose colored love stories in flat black. Unfinished, unpredictable, but they are mine, and I know what follows. Broken windows, one in particular, and my silhouette in the star shaped shards barely intact. That's what made me feel alive, those simple moments filled with tint gradients, wishing I had never seen your trapping smile. Wishing you had never taken place of all the elements around me. This infinity is just a room. This room has a light switch, and two sets of stairs. This is just a chair, and my window is just open, and I miss when the wind would blow, because it was just you breathing.

We were here, right in this place.
I remember now. Right here.
I remember love. Harsh, heavy and ever-growing,
And we didn't even try to stop it. We couldn't.
This was love, so much a force that even spelling or speaking it's name would destroy plains to make its way back to us.
Love, with flight like butterflies; beautiful, and ripping oceans from a world away.
And beautiful, making no mistakes by prefixing your name, follows you.
Beautiful being so much of you that every doorway you walk through becomes so. I look at you with one eye closed, in case this is a dream in which every sidewalk, every pedal, every wall... becomes you. Every time your stare traces the astros, every star and every moon becomes yours. I remember now. I remember why I jump into the sky every waking moment. I remember why falling was only love. I know now. I'll never forget why my eyes can stand to open. I remember why I have a heart at all. Not to live, but to remember you. To never forget you. For you to tear apart and perfectly place back together. For you.

Filled with beauty turned to dust. Nothing more than a decorative edge. From up here I can see everything. From the false mountains standing in the distance that we could never reach,  all the way back to you. You, a single incendiary soul. Yes, I feel alive when I'm with you. Stuck inside a self-induced and shaken shell, and yes it hurts, but this pain is mine. There aren't as many earthquakes here. You're destroying the heart of the city, and I'm rebuilding what you've broken behind you. I know its not as beautiful,  but this was ours. This city was ours. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you here. This place is stained with our slumbers, our sins, and our love. This city was just too small for you. I have no doubts that many will come to love it here, maybe you'll even visit, but here is no place for the big things that you deserve. You walk above one-story houses and my hands are built for less. Someone will find love here. Sometime. And maybe they'll want to tear down these walls, and maybe I'll be trapped inside of a shaken, self-induced shell, and it will hurt, but the pain will be mine. I hope the world you seek houses and holds you well. I'll be here, in the place where we would meet, building every step I take around the world that was you. I have been hearing a song, a voice bouncing from every block and street light and I can barely make out the sound of the city you left crashing behind you.