Grief is
inevitable.
Everyone will pass-
they will turn to memories
and all you can do to prepare
is make sure you made an
abundance of them for
that inevitable day.

standing on my balcony
night sky
pitch black
no light to see

i think to myself
the only person i live for
is me

it could work out
life could be better
maybe one day
i'll settle for the good fight

i guess its alright

that the stars aren't out tonight

I'm attending a funeral
I see a grave but only the hole
I know bugs are crawling all over my soul
But I feel so ashamed, what to do?
I simply do not know
Corrupted by everything
Chasing meaning in the form of "goals"
Yearning to get out of my comfort zone
To be known
But nothing works so I'm trapped in fantasy
I need someone else to do the work for me
As its too much to even be alive
Telling myself lies constantly
To cut off my desire for death
So I don't go too early
The grave is for me, you see
And everyday I try to flee
But it's in front of me
And it threatens to pull me in
Snaking smoky arms out with a grin
To die a sinner
To live in scorn
To try to love
But fail and be love lorn
Lost in daydreams
Past memories
Wasting my time
In the grime of my world

Amalgamation of missed information
I have to resist the temptation
To rename myself a "bad result of experimentation"
Is to love someone to control their mood?
To turn them upside down when you're feeling rude
I tried for weeks to be astute
But in just one minute you made it all a fluke
Can I get better please?
Heal from this illness, cure my disease
Due to my hysteria I would take any pill
To not let you affect me, get back my free will
Its painful to be alone
But I feel better when im not owned
Branded to be a slave to your polarity
Leaving my creativity
And all I love to your bad proclivities

I crave for a lot
Is it so wrong for a boy to lust
For the loud
An escape
A scary change of pace
To run from the dull
The drab
The nonspontaneous stuff
The blah and blab
But I need satiation
To accept the realization
You lit up with yellow
While I exist in dark blue
My blood may turn red
But is that its true hue?
The times may change
But my being remains the same
I refuse to be mischaracterized
As a damsel in chains
Waiting for a saviour
It would be more natural to burst into flame
My words are my armour
I will die with my sword
A poet and a knight
As ritually
To myself I have sworn