Of you ******* me
Taking my troubles like a storm
Of you blessing me
Up and down and back and forth.
I don’t want this anymore
The pictures at first were fun and meant something
But now I’m touching myself
and I can’t stand
It’s stupid you know;
Stupidity is dumb
And if I’m dumb you may as well give up.
Tears fell like my expectations
for you , I lost my patience
And in this situation, there is nothing
that i have really won.
I earned the truth ,nonetheless
Had to look for it and
unless you understand what its like to be repeatedly lied to then you’ll probably think its not that bad.
But I wanna go back
To pretending you don’t exist because now it hurts, yet you still insist that shattered trust is not as severe as a healed heart
I have to restart
As a fight with you was more peaceful than a fight against myself.
You do not exist .
Breathless, meaningless, self absorbed intolerance
Draw bags under my
eyes and attempts on
I am content ,you know,
Something I'll cheerfully admit.
If depression was a lesson
I'd be a professional
But my profession would be part of my past
And I would have moved on to something I couldn't resist-
It's taking a long time to learn this discovery
But I've come to terms that I won't settle for chosen
I want to be respected
And really there's no hurry because I'm moving with the wind and nothing can stop me.
So many distractions
And only a little time
And I'm really trying to try
And thank you thank you thank you-
Because I'm forgetting who you are and I'm feeling kinda in to this.
Bien que je besoin de l'aide,
Je serai silencieuse ,
Parce que c'est tellement facile
Parce que je veux faire semblant que je n'existe plus
Parce que peut-etrê si j'essaye partir la pièce mentalement,
puis bientôt ils peuvent m'oublier aussi.
Hit that girl where it hurts-
Remind her what she has done.
Feelings are burdens after all
- - -
When was I my happiest ?
A while ago I'd say:
My breakdowns hadn't become repetitive;
I didn't fear darker days.
I try and link my "peaks" to the people in life
Hold them accountable for my thoughts
But the boy I liked didn't pressure me to hate myself
And my best friend couldn't force me to smile;
Happiness isn't learnt or taught.
I'm scared my negativity runs in my veins
And the only way it will leave is by an escape-
A simple cut.
But then the cycle would repeat for those who had loved me
I cant create someone else's unhappiness-
The door of that story is shut.
So maybe I'll stop recapturing old memories
The ones that float freely around outside , at home , at school
Because people had gone and people will go
And I'm one hundred percent sure I'll be happy again soon.