If you ever needed something to doubt
it's connections
Feeling uncertain
or mislead by the things being said
Is it a false sense of protection ?
we often romanticize our interactions with others
we forget the heart has it's needs
and it can deceive and project a false perception
The hunger to feed the brain outweighs any other need
But we keep it simple and let our insecurities take the lead
Moving foward with whatever feels safe
telling yourself you feel like you're  In a better state
some kind of comfort zone
did you ever stop and think it was never created on your own
everyone's been given a piece to hold
Unknowingly giving up the keys to your throne
Turn things around before it gets old
Be bold , go against all the lies you've been told
it's okay to be alone it's okay to be part of the unknown
Next time remind yourself of that when you feel the unwanted attention overflow
it might be that extra baggage you refuse to let go all because of that fear of someone saying I TOLD YOU SO

Lots of time spent arguing and quiet
A life full of regrets isn't something I look foward to
so if I happen to swallow my pride and move on don't hate me
Understand I've given it alot of time and I'll never get that back so it's all worth it
The right choice to sit back rejoice with my moments
My mind is at peace and my goals set steadily ahead of me
Cutting out those who hang on me heavily
I march to my own tune my own melody
Sing it next time you decide to remember me.

Ever wonder what it's like?
Have you ever had a cramp?
Kind of like that
only it's not as easy to just stretch
unless it's the brain
stretch the mind that I might be happy someday
I've kept things in because that's what I was taught
Bottle it up
it's only your thoughts
it's all in your head
out of sight out of mind right?
if only it was that simple
I'd vent but I think to some it's gotten old
maybe once I'm gone people might say everything seemed okay
take it to my grave
all the **** I've been holding
I guess that's why they silence is golden

I often contemplate
I weigh out the pros and cons
is it worth it?
The anguish,the pain
restless nights , Heavy thoughts
then again if it works
The tenderness,the joy
The peaceful nights ,the bliss
all up to me really
But I can't seem to understand what I have to do
Serenity seems like an impossible task and stability just seems like a myth
But I know I'm the captain it's my ship I'll go down with a smile and realize it was all worthwhile

I would laugh but the pain isn't too bad
I would cry but the joke isn't funny anymore
I would think about it but the effort isn't worth it
And I would advise you but my words don't seem to ever stick
I Would like to share a memory but I feel that's all I am now.

She wanted to be loved
but not in a total fairytale type of way, just wanted someone to understand that she was damaged
and still needed love
like everyone .
She would give her all for the one she
loves
Passionate and crass was her way .
A queen in ever aspect of her personality.

Dark skies
no signs
full moon next to it
my star
Bright as ever
The first to catch my eye
actually the first of the night
And the only one I care for
The rest don't have the same shine
so far from my reach
I can never really call it mine
I'll just sit back and enjoy the little time I get with it on rare nights

Never my second option
always wanted to be first
Swallowed my pride
over the years  kept my distance but still at arms reach if you needed me
if you wanted me
probably not
But still somehow you imprinted on my thoughts
Crushed always
every little conversation  is meaningful
though I might never get the chance
I can stay hopeful and if not now or then well
in another lifetime I guess