ecstatic, lateral / irrational longing
ticktock time bomb waiting for your
slack to tighten, get back to me

whiskey-stung bottom lip under
white sheets and thunder
hollow hands hold out heavy-
drowned secrets from my left lung
make the nights last longer
make the air even against the thought of what you sing when I'm leaving

recount the loudest bouts from which I crumble
worship one thigh at a time, my god
why don't they come with a warning;
the morning put stones on my bowing
another good reason to kiss you
another's lost lover, ocean story
red-wave cravings
I'll pay in great shades of grey & plunder
shave my legs and go
right back under

I am aware of the space I inhabit
As fully as it is aware of me
As much as I am only decoration
My sound becoming color
Unseen by eyes
I lose myself in the strings I hold
I hold with love
I sit alone in empty rooms
And still sing my song for you

I couldn't not make music
You know
And I know
You couldn't not hear it

I am confined by the space that keeps me
As fully as it traps me in
In a way it binds
My hands are tied
And I can't touch you
I lose myself in the dreams I hold
The stars I love
I float through the universe
And still sing songs for you

I couldn't not make music
The song in my heart
Speaks to your soul
You couldn't not hear it

You are at the end of my fingertips
yet your heart so far away,
I  can't ask you to keep me warm
on nights when icicles stab my soul.

Dreaming daily
though I know
the song you sing
is  not for my ears to hear,
the stars you love
are not for my eyes to see.

The wind whispers your name
through the pores of my skin,
loneliness and pain getting greater everyday.
The sky is falling over me again
and you can't see my despair.
Weak, collapsing,
looking  for your strings to ease the fall
and at the end of my fingertips
there's just a cold, quiet picture
haunting me whole.

I look for you and I know
that it is not in heavens
nor in hell
where I want to find you
but
on this Earth
walking
next to me.
In vain I look
my heart will once more die in silence
cause the sky is falling over me again
but you are not here
and it's not for me the song you sing.