There’s beauty in the struggle, loneliness in success,
But now I’m struggling to be successful and my beauty’s gone and left,
I won’t elaborate, in the past there’s only stress,
And I can safely say, no minute of it do I regret,
Now there’s someone new, to take away my breath,
And I crave the way she puts hands right on my neck,
Pain leading to heaven, suffocation my outlet,
But the pain is real, more so than the feelings I have left,
Pain doesn’t lie, ****** you with thoughts so perfect,
Then leave you in the cold, your blood dripping out dark and wet,
So I hold on to whats real, aspiring to someone I’ll never get,
And if I never do, she’ll never tear my heart in two, never will I  fret,
We’ll smile, we’ll laugh, we’ll watch many many a sunset,
And ever friends shall we be cuz no one calls a lost friend an ex.

Exes and ohs, scars written in bold,
Persons whose kisses have left and whose hands you’ll never again hold,
Passion now forced to be forgotten to give you a chance to heal your soul,
But it’s cold,
But its perfect, the way no story’s ever told,
When you love someone who doesn’t love you, its the safest thing you’ll own,
Who can take it away, it cant even be sold,
She protects you from the pain of losing another you think is “goals”,
And ever letting yourself get comfortable in a heart you thought was a home,
So you live the lonely life, it’s better on your own,
When there’s no one who you hold close, you’re much less disappointment-prone,
Maybe you’ll never be happy, maybe happiness is just a word,
Because it’s really just a high, way above the world,
Then the roller coaster dips, taking you back to the pain you’ve always known.

I begged and begged and you said no,
Turned your back, said the feelings would go,
****** my way through a summer of fears,
But in the end found nowhere to end my tears.

Now you’re back, no we’re back,
And the good’s back with the bad right on track,
I feel love, I know you’re my “goals”,
But feeling loved I have not yet got, our story seems filled with holes.

This ain’t about that though, how much I want you to be my last,
It’s about a problem I’ve never had in the past,
The feeling to bury myself in many a willing hole,
The feeling to let someone else take care of my tired soul.

I want to be loved, I want it so bad,
My search for love was maybe selfish, just a tad,
Now I’m working on you, to be everything you could want,
But no matter how hard I try, you say there’s nothing you ever want.

It’s not your fault I’m helpless,
Only mine that I think you’re the best,
And I don’t listen when the world says let go, let it end,
I get right back up and start hoping again.

Compartmentalisation, you’re my ambition and my passion,
Recently though I’ve been tempted by temporary satisfaction,
Haven’t felt ****** desire for aught but you in weeks,
But emotional desire, for love returned, tenderness is what I seek.

Who knew this could ever be my weakness,
I hesitate at all to even speak this,
What I feel when you don’t answer my call,
Is a burning need for an answer from anyone else at all.

What is to cheat?
Is it only for bodies to meet?
Or can I have friends with intangible benefits who,
Love me unconditionally and would give me the moon.

“Friends” I shouldn’t lie,
To myself that is, sigh,
What they’d be is only used,
While I wait for you to grow into a person that’s not confused.

I’d throw them away, more persons hurt at my feet,
When all I really want is the sound of my name in your heartbeat,
Maybe it’s narcissistic, a selfish love at it’s worst,
But maybe it’s a good thing, my problem is emotional thirst.

And so I struggle, the fight is not lost nor won at all,
The fight to bear my emotional withdrawal,
All without looking for a cheap substitute,
When my dealer with the good stuff ignores my salute.

On a moonlit plain, 
One, star-bright night, 
The lovers lay where others have lain,
And enjoy pretty much the same sight.
As she stares into his eyes
His love looks back,
And he hears her joy in heartfelt sighs,
And the brilliant smile that made his heart crack.
He knows, he knows, that this is the time,
She sees him tremble but doesn't know why,
Like a man on trial for a crime.
The wings of his heart beat, and he's about to fly, 
He steels himself, gathers his love, 
And produces the proof of his desire,
A glinting ring, as from a treasure trove,
Shines bright to match his eyes' fire,
But she looks on in scared dismay,
As he gets down on one knee, 
He presents his token, she begins to pray,
And gets ready to flee,
He says those words 'I love you'
Normally a feast of delight,
Today they cut her heart in two,
And hers would not be the only one tonight.
'Will you marry me?' he asks hope and happiness in his eyes,
And she says no...
Now there's only surprise,
And slowly down, his tears flow.
She was not ready.