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Horrible emotions were all I thought I could ever feel
I never even thought love could be real
Just a fantasy to help escape reality

However then I found you
You saved me from all of my pain
And the burdens of what I once went through
But I was still scared
My heart was still impaired
One more hit and I would be through

But you showed me something more
You were nothing like the rest
My heart was beating fast
I was told the past wouldn't last
But I never thought,
the things I could feel would be vast

Everything about you changed my heart of blue
into a bright red
I never thought this would happen
Something so bright
All of this, to me, was so very new

Talking with you has made me feel something
I never thought it was real,
or something I could feel
It was something so strange,
I had to stick by you

You made me feel so happy
Reality isn't my prison anymore
You set me free
Free from all that is blue

And in return, I had fallen deeply in love with you
My heart was pounding
Such an occurrence never happened to me before
That isn't even the worst part
For you see,
a small part of the old me was still breathing
Still begging the other half to not give in to others
My old self had learned to trust no one
My new-self had no reason to listen

His eyes, his smile, his voice
Everything about that man made me question my own sanity
I never felt such emotions before
I taught myself not to
Maybe I would cry from time to time
But that is nothing

I knew that he was nothing like the others
I knew he was kind
He was just playing a character
A character for a show

But I knew the truth

He wasn't like them
Yet a part of me was still afraid
I wasn't like anyone he knew either
That I am sure of
So, what is stopping him from fearing me?

I hid
I hid as if my heart was just stomped on by another man,
and I was afraid of what would happen to me if I once again came out
But, something deep down inside of me told me to come out
He seemed so friendly towards the people who claimed to be his fans
I was extremely jealous of that
So, I decided to talk to him

Maybe he loves me
Maybe he does not
But, not matter what he is feeling now
I know that we belong together
Nothing will stop me from taking what is mine
Two people, standing side by side
The first is depressive
The second, obsessive
The first person feels unwanted, like they mean nothing
The other has no reason to care
As they are obsessed
However, they are not obsessed with the first person

The first person has been fighting their demons for the longest time
However, the second person had their own
But, their demons disguised their dangerous intentions with pleasure
As it feels good to be in love

The second person still hung out with the first
However, they were slowly drifting apart
The first person slowly gave into their depression
The second was still too delusional to realize their friend's agony
The first was falling apart
While the object of the second's obsession,
was pulling the second together

It is quite tragic
The first finally let go
A dark red covering the room around them
The second couldn't feel anything
They were covered in red as well

The first was finally free
The second was no longer tied to their obsessions
And the first's demons fled the scene

Now the first was so happy
Everything was through
The first started to cry tears so true
She wanted to be next to the second
She was in such a high
That she was now red too

The two slept together
Forever and forever
Tied to their obsessions
And the depression
It was a surprise that the first could pull of such an endeavor

Time moved so slow
Neither could feel it
But soon came flashing lights
And loud sirens
The demons have came back for them
Bright light lit up my face as I looked at the screen in front of me
The light was showing me such horrible things
But I forgave it nonetheless
The screen was showing me two people
They looked so happy
Arms connecting
Smiles on their faces

I didn't want to see it
But anyone else would find such images rather cute
However, they made me want to puke
Why was I still looking at these images
No
Why was this screen showing me such horrible things?

Why did I deserve this
Why couldn't I be that girl
That girl who found comfort in the arms of her lover
The man that I loved

With no warning to signal such an occurrence,
The screen of white, now shattered
Turning a dismal black
Even when the screen was begging for mercy
There truly was no turning back

The screen was hit, bashed and hacked at
Until it's final breath was gasped
However my anger was not yet gone
It was skin that I thought now needed to be slashed
I don't remember much about what was going on
Not that it mattered
What was happening now was all that mattered to me
It was dark,
and I was alone

I couldn't see where I was or where I was going
Then, something lit up the area around me
My eyes adjusted only to see a bright, shining star
I small ball of fire, in this cold dim room

The star had saved me
I wouldn't be able to go on without the star
I wanted to be closer to the star
Maybe it could light up my reality even more

I began to follow the star
It was moving quickly
No matter how confused I was at that detail,
I tried to cover that up with the lie of it guiding me home

Maybe I didn't care at all
It didn't matter to me
I was with the star
And that was all I cared about

Before I could thank it, the star left
I don't quite know why
I couldn't have done anything to scare it off
I was home where I wanted to be but,
everything was now slowly becoming as dark as it was before
Why was the star leaving me?

I watched as the star burnt out,
right in front of my tear filled, wide eyes
I cried
I begged it to stay
To stay with me
I told the star everything
How I needed it
How it lit up my life when everything was dark
Too dark for me to even be able to see

That scared the star more and it flashed a few times
Then it was gone
I was nauseated
Even after everything I said to it
The star still left?
Why didn't the star like me?
It helped me so why is it now avoiding me?

The star was now gone
It was day now, it left at just the right time
I wouldn't be able to enter my house if it left
Everything seemed normal
Nothing changed
Everyone stayed the same
But there was still no sign of that star

Fear was beginning to resonate inside of me
What was I to do when everything becomes starved of light?
Would the star be back?
I hoped so

I was deprived of the star for so very long
Everything slowly became dark
Just as the sun waved goodbye to the Earth,
my world was overwhelmed with darkness
However, this time there was no star
Now I knew why

The star was at the other side of the sky
I could see it very faintly
I even had to squint
Maybe the star was with someone else
Lighting up another unworthy human's world just as the star lit up mine

Everything and everyone told me the star was nothing to fight this hard for
I myself had no reason to listen
For you see,

The darkness was what I was left in
And the star,
was what I desired
Is it bad that I hate everyone?
They don't understand me
They never could
I'm sure they hate me
So I hate them back

Well, hate is a strong word
They really have a hard time understanding me
They mock me
They taunt me
They do the same things to the only man I am able to love
So it is only natural that I despise them all

Sometimes I just wish I could rid myself of other people
Just sit by myself,
write poetry,
maybe even read a book
However I am always bothered by the people who pretend to care about me
It is quite pitiful
My emotions
Were something I always felt that I needed to hide
Something to never lose control of
Because if I did that,
what would stop me from hurting someone?

They seem to be scared of me when I am angry
I do not know why
I get just as angry as they do
But I do it time after time
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