I need to
I want to
I burn for the feeling
I cry to fill this void.
This hole.
The emptiness.
Where emptiness once was a heart.
To feel the steel
In my veins
to smell the rust
flow through my blood.
to watch a river of darkness.
dark
thick
red
blood
fall to my feet
to only watch the darkness creep
following down the lighted tunnel
to step further and further away
once foot at a time
one breath less
to make this last
hear those cries
hear the screams
see the tears
feel the pain
just to feel that steel slice
just to watch the blood fall
to see my skin stain
to end all this pain
please
just take my misery away.

I think
I get so scared of people leaving me
so I **** everything up before something even becomes of it
I get defensive
or
I get vulnerable
and I scare them off

I think
I wasn't built out for a relationship
because I am confident and I do love myself
but
somehow I can't keep any potential great relationship going

I think
no one can love me the way I want them to
or
the way I would love them
because they don't understand me
they don't absorb how my mind and spirits play, sometimes together
they don't realize how far my thoughts can go

I think
at the end of the day
we all just want someone to be obbessed with us as we are with them

The gentlest of flowers
are constantly trampled
under heavy boots

i think it's time to say goodbye.

whatever belief i had in love is gone.
so really, thank you for showing me the light.
true love is a myth.
and so is everything else that was "good"
in this world.

People who fight
their battles alone
either lose the battle
or lose themselves.

When we first started talking, I should have known it wouldn't end well.
When you took my hand and interlocked our fingers, I should have known those same hands would make me feel something I've never felt before.
After our first kiss, I should have known I would only want your lips on mine.
When you asked me to go steady, I should have known this relationship would be over in the blink of an eye.
When you looked at me the way you  did, i should have known you felt for me what I was scared to say I felt for you.
When you said you loved when we were together, I should have known I made you feel like no one else had.
When you let me meet your parents, I should have known I was something special to you.
When you stayed with me instead of going to hangout with friends, I should have known i already meant the world to you.
When you looked at me with a smile after just pulling away from a kiss, I should have known you could fall in love with someone in an instant, no matter how long you had been with them.
When you said you couldn't wait for me, I should of been understanding.
When we were wrapped up in each other, I should have taken the time to tell you what you meant to me.
When I knew what I felt for you was love, I should have told you. No matter how heavy my heart felt at the thought of you not feeling the same way.
And When I had to say goodbye to you for the last time, I should have known that love does not always die. But some times the perfect people come into your life at the wrong time.