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1.5k · May 2018
Veiled truths
Neon Beaches May 2018
I just hurt everyone
I fabricate false truths like art
I weave them together like threads in a tapestry

A kind of poisonous performance art
I steal others ideas and use them as mine

Upon an alter I sacrifice friends to the abyss
And for what?
Who knows why

Long ago has my fire burned out
Its last sparks disappearing as I write

Too young am I
To cloud over with the sorrows of my past
My possible futures I’ve given up
Just to cry

Stuck like a record player
I repeat the same mistakes
I repeat the same mistaks
I repeat the same misaks

I repeat the same mstks

I repeat the same mstk


I repeat the same mtk



I repeat the same mk




I repeat the same m






until there are no more to repeat
and those that loved me
leave me

I fall in spiral
Endlessly into an infinite hole
Unable to stop

Yet it is me
I am killing myself
I can’t live like this anymore
But I know I will
No matter what anyone says
The last sparks of hope,
That used to blaze
An inferno in my eyes and soul
Mind and body,
Have died


lies
858 · May 2018
Neon Beaches
Neon Beaches May 2018
To walk neon beaches

The space between (dimensions)

A vibrant limbo

16 bit roads lined with palm trees

These neon beaches I walk

This purgatory between life and death

A simulacrum of reality that bleeds colour

A place isolated from existence
598 · Aug 2018
Sorry, I had to shout
Neon Beaches Aug 2018
My hands shake
My chest hurts
My heart yearns
I am alone
It’s been a while
563 · Jun 2018
Sweet Darkness
Neon Beaches Jun 2018
Oh how I’d welcome the darkness!
Let it’s cool embrace sweep me off my feet
Take my mind, rid me of the curse of consciousness
The gift of nothing is all I want; my tired mind can take no more!

Let go!
Oh please, just stop thinking!
Let go of your mind
(Stop repeating stupid songs in your head)
Leave this plane of existence
(1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, pink psychologist sheep says I’m slightly loopy)
I can’t make sense of the thoughts that slug around my head
(Just close your eyes)
Ascend to another world
(Ok, stop writing **** and just try to sleep)


(I have exams tomorrow)
...

It’s too hot
It’s too cold
My pillow is too hard
And now it’s too soft

I can’t stop moving
And now I can’t move
(I somehow cut the blood flow to my leg)

...
I even tried wiki how for advice on how to sleep...
Obviously being on a device doesn’t help
451 · Jun 2018
Often injurious aficionado
Neon Beaches Jun 2018
I’m a fanatic when it comes to finding ways to **** myself
A zealot of self destruction
Addicted to pain

The knife pulls me closer
It promises happiness
It shows me ecstasy within my blood

The bottle beckons
“Come in, have a drink. Forget”
It wraps me around it’s spindly fingers
Twiddles me around it’s thumb
“Forget”

My music
It tells me of worlds far away
Promises peace
A quick escape from anything


But now The bottle makes me remember
The music brings me closer to everything
And the knife no longer feeds me
It simply bleeds me

Because nothing compares
To my addiction
To you
446 · May 2018
My little astroman
Neon Beaches May 2018
My little astroman
You float through the empty
A tiny white
Against a giant blue,
A beautiful diamond in an infinite black
It is free
It is alive
It is wonderful
It is Earth

However...

My little astroman,
Utterly alone
With no one by your side
Sit and watch
As the world
Burns

In an instant
With blinding brilliance
A once Beautiful diamond
Has become grey coal
For this gem is marked with fury and fire

The world blazes,
it’s charred throat too burnt to scream
It’s eyes to seared too see

My little astroman
You know you will never go back
Never see the red
Nor feel the green
Never hear the birds
Nor taste the air

...you reach out...

My little astroman
no longer do you have a home
My little astroman,
Now, do you float alone
405 · May 2018
Monters behind my eyes
Neon Beaches May 2018
Like fireflies they dance on my eyes
Twisting and turning as I lose consciousness
Sparks that float upon my pupils
Burning
330 · May 2018
The Earths golden lover
Neon Beaches May 2018
I walk along the beach
The whispering winds whip the sand into a thousand little pin ****** that gently sting my calves
I look out over the lustful ocean body

Sun reaches out,
it’s rays grab Earth in longing
But she knows they cannot be,
too far are they
Millions of miles apart

But still he tries,
For his love for her is boundless
She turns her back on him
She knows it’s for the best
He doesn’t let go until he disappears over her horizon

Her blue green eyes cloud over
She mourns a lover who isn’t dead
She sheds a tear for him,
her timeless, Golden Lover
It lands on my shoulder

****, it’s getting late
320 · May 2018
Estranged from myself
Neon Beaches May 2018
When rain falls and the skies are marked with grey
When the real world seems ‘o so far away
I reminisce about old days
the things I used to love
And the things I used to do
When I remember how I used to blaze
Blaze, Even brighter than the sun
I simply sit back
and let my eyes glaze over with sorrow
Because I know that soon
I’ll have to face tomorrow
232 · May 2018
Storm
Neon Beaches May 2018
Look, look outside...

A wave of grey engulfs the horizon
It stretches forever
Slowly, it creeps towards you
It devours the very sky above
Surrounded by a moving wall of impenetrable power

All is silent
Not a mouse stirs
But the electricity in the air,
It reaches out, alive
It whispers to you
It tells us of times to come
Times of terror
Of gloom,
Doom

Skyscrapers and houses
Everywhere everything we have ever worked for
Utterly consumed by the creature behind grey walls

And all the while
Silence screams in agony
As it holds back
the demons beyond


The world explodes
Ghosts scream their hollow, dreaded screams
They cry and howl
as they fly around us
Rain falls like lead
from it’s gaping maw
Sleets of invisible death pour
Trees uproot,
Cars fly,
Houses gone

It is upon you
It’s ancient power beyond comprehension
It is terrible
Yet…
It is beautiful, magnificent and worthy of awe

Close your eyes
Leave this place
travel to a world far away
A world of silence
Safety
Close your eyes
And maybe it’ll leave
228 · Sep 2018
Untitled

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