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3d · 87
Hey
Kai 3d
Hey
Hey it’s okay
it’s okay to be yourself
it’s okay not to be the best
sometimes we make mistakes
but that doesn’t mean you are one
Sometimes everyone needs to here it, so I said it. I wish someone would have said it to me.
Nov 12 · 94
Oh Hey, Dear Love.
Kai Nov 12
Oh love
you drive me crazy
you make me swoon
like the old fashioned girls

Hey love
even without you
my thoughts are there
waiting for your return

Dear love
can’t you see it
what you do to me
with every secret smile

Love, take me away!
Title from both the first word of each stanza but also honestly something I would say. That awkward little wave would have to be added.
Nov 8 · 89
draft
Kai Nov 8
a manuscript set forth
erors sprawld acros
every single page

t̾e̾a̾ stains spot it
where it lᵢₑs fₒᵣgₒttₑN
on your desk now

half finished here...

c h o p p y sentences
full of m̴i̴s̴t̴a̴k̴e̴s̴
marked up in RED

there are improvements
little notes jotted down
between the margins

waiting for action
as you steep a cup
to string it together

Writing is really difficult sometimes, but it's also really a beautiful process full of mistakes and the like. I like to think maybe I'm a draft waiting to become some wonderful adventure novel. My author is just trying their best to work out the plot holes and flaws.
Nov 5 · 75
Hearing Rain
Kai Nov 5
I think it is raining
I heard drips
just now starting
like the beginning
of a heavy storm

Clouds ready to burst
full and heavy rain
waiting to pour down
it pings on my window
sweetly and rhythmic

Gentle drops now
but soon a typhoon
everything starts small
before it hits big
with a crescendo of noise

so I watch content
but a little wary
from my window
as the sky dribbles
like staccato notes
I love rain way to much. I’m just relaxing before the storm hits now.
Nov 5 · 77
Wolves’ Winter
Kai Nov 5
thick and heavy
an oppressive air
settles across us

trapped inside now
as the cold grows
and wind howls

wrapped up in you
and the warm blankets
as we wait it all out

but it doesn’t stop
days will pass soon
maybe even weeks

the cold still stays
icing over rivers
the wolves are coming

howls indistinguishable
from the swirling outside
till we hear the scratching
Nov 2 · 138
Heart Beats
Kai Nov 2
my head to your chest
palpitations of the heart
heady and steady
Oct 29 · 65
Headaches
Kai Oct 29
How is it going?
my brain is scheming
aches at my temple
don’t let me sleep
I’m doing fine!

How are you?
‘cause my life is messy
and everything feels heavy
I wish you would hold me
I miss hanging out.

I see you everyday?
it still wouldn’t be enough
if I can’t talk to you
the same way we used to
Yeah you’re right!
Conversations hold more than you know.
Oct 28 · 84
Witching Hour
Kai Oct 28
will you run or hide
spirits lurk in shadows now
is it safe inside?
The greatest holiday now approaches us, are we any safer hiding away in our homes?
Oct 25 · 73
In the Prison
Kai Oct 25
High school is a prison
guards march the halls
watching us like hawks
waiting to ****** us up
for any transgression
we just scuttle along
with our heads down low

High school is a prison
bells ringing sharp as knives
telling us where we can go
and when we can go there
we line up for meger food
it's time for lunch now
hope I don't get poisoned
Part two of two high school related poems.
Oct 25 · 45
In the Wrong
Kai Oct 25
High school is wrong
mixing and mushing
facts and figures
into students heads
till is bleed out
through their ears

High school is wrong
telling you to sit down
shut up and to behave
whenever we are wrong
we are failures to them
for simply trying our best
Part one of two high school related poems.
Oct 23 · 46
Time Will Tell
Kai Oct 23
Only time will tell
how forests age
aching from the fires
and planting new seeds

Only time will tell
how the mountains
shall move and crumble
into the cities we see

Only time will tell
how the waters settle
slipping deep in streams
and wading through

Only time will tell
how we will break
away from one another
into another we know
Oct 23 · 54
Little Moments
Kai Oct 23
Sometimes you have to pause
stand still in the every day
no matter how long it's been
and breath life deeply again
sight it out and observe
look at all that is wonderful
take a glance at the little things
I've been waiting to post this for awhile, I'm really glad that my computer is working properly again. Hopefully I can spew out a ton of Halloween poems soom. I love Halloween. Oh! Also, this poem is based of Moomin Valley, kind of. I love Snufkin's ideology of just taking life how it is and finding something in anything. Sorry for the long note! I'm just excited to post again.
Oct 23 · 58
screw up
Kai Oct 23
every day
no matter what I do
I'm just a ***** up
unlike you
My poems don't seem to like to save... hopefully this one goes up since I'm not saving a draft before I post it.
Oct 10 · 205
True Friendship
Kai Oct 10
to define it is hard
but you will know
once you communicate
through eye contact
from thirty feet away
before you're bursting
with peels of laughter
Sep 26 · 192
Forest Eyes
Kai Sep 26
I came upon a man
weary now with age
with a deep cracked tan

He looked and told
of the old forest
that reflects ones soul

Is that why I walk
and only see eyes
that follow and stalk

Me through the trees
dark and sunken
as they peer at me
He was an old god. His knowledge was a warning.
Sep 25 · 73
Brown Eyed Girl
Kai Sep 25
Her eyes were brown
not sweet like honey
or cracked with gold
with green flickers

Her eyes were holes
deep pits of darkness
That held me tight
and pulled me in

Her eyes were dark
They held secrets
undistinguishable
from iris to pupil

Her eyes were beautiful
Don’t give me the romanticized golden or light brown, I want pools of night looking deep into my soul.
Sep 24 · 66
Chamomile
Kai Sep 24
sweetened chamomile
settle me down now
and let me breathe
in and out again
away from today
I just need to settle myself after a long day sometimes.
Sep 19 · 126
Flying Today
Kai Sep 19
we could crash
we would burn
shaking wings
slight turbulence
metal monster
flying above
jittering nerves
gnawing anxiety
Time for me to head out to Washington! I've never flown before and I am downright terrified. Hopefully I won't die tragically today.
Sep 19 · 112
Asexual
Kai Sep 19
a different love
platonic and familial
but never ******
Sep 17 · 98
all your friends
Kai Sep 17
hug all your friends
and keep them close by
cause when times are hard
on them you will rely
Sep 16 · 400
Nonexistence
Kai Sep 16
suicidal as defined
by depressing thoughts
and tendencies to death
I do not define myself

but to gentle apathy
wishing nonexistence
and in bed till three
is what I will be

what do you call me
if I don't want to die
but simply cease to be
from any and all reality
I never wanted to die, only to never exist in the first place.
Sep 15 · 316
a dream
Kai Sep 15
I may never dream
of anything but green
because I live between
what is supposed to be
and the true reality
of grey dusty skies
and those dark eyes
Sep 13 · 131
Anemia
Kai Sep 13
my sick pallor face
fatigue ******* my steps
I shuffle along
Sep 12 · 86
Live Again
Kai Sep 12
crack your bones
tear your veins
and grieve now
for your past lives

breath now deeply
weep now openly
and scream out
for those with you
Sep 9 · 548
There is More
Kai Sep 9
there is always more
more to do and say in life
a brighter future
September is national suicide prevention month, world suicide day starts tomorrow so gear up and support those around you! Share inspiration and love with tagging BeThe1To. If you ever feel lost, alone, and done with life remember to call 1-800-273-8255.

There is a survivor in all of us!
Sep 8 · 139
2am writing
Kai Sep 8
back of your mind
it all bubbles up
words overflowing
inspiration so strong
you lose your breath
your mind goes numb
all becomes black
thousands of words
blink up at you
the cursor pauses
menacingly on screen
Sep 8 · 90
Sopranos
Kai Sep 8
singing high
getting higher

missing notes
and their boys

flipping hair
and their fingers

pretty girls
always posing
I personally have sung both soprano and alto, but honestly I hate sopranos. They're all such "mean girl" stereotypes.
Sep 8 · 128
Drama
Kai Sep 8
I didn't ask for this
it's all drama here

I wanted to play
but now I'm here

It's all in the looks
on the shallow stage

Now I'm crying
in the backstage
Sep 7 · 252
every so often
Kai Sep 7
often I drag myself out of bed
     like I am weighed with anchors
     made of sorrow and expectations

often I am unreasonably upset
     over nothing and everything at once
     from scratchy sweaters to school admissions

often I wonder why I fret
     over the smallest failures I commit
     and over the little quirks that I have

often I'll ponder all that has gone wrong
    and wish I could have changed it all
    I will wish to not to think these things again
When you sit alone in bed at 2AM, some thoughts are a little too existential, so you'll wish you never thought at all.
Sep 5 · 1.2k
Narcissism
Kai Sep 5
you are not a narcissist
if you love yourself                                      
so take care of you                                      
and breath deeply
PUBLIC NOTICE!
Take care of yourselves out there, it's okay. Someone is always out there for you and life gets better.
Sep 4 · 192
oyasumi
Kai Sep 4
I whisper goodnight
so close your eyes now dear
because it all ends
Remember everything ends eventually...
Aug 31 · 157
Affection
Kai Aug 31
those little bits of affection
stolen during lazy times
soft moments are cherished

the warmth of your arms
circled around me now
hugging loosely and lovely
Sometimes I just want a soft moment and a curling hug to make it through.
Aug 31 · 67
Summertime
Kai Aug 31
hold me closer now
as I shiver so violently
with fear of the sunshine
it's colder in the summertime
my knees collapse into your arms
my body becomes numb in the warmth
Aug 30 · 373
Morning
Kai Aug 30
pulling at your limbs
rubbing sleep from your eyes
dragging yourself through
sometimes you just have to get up and pull your lulling body through the day.
Aug 28 · 87
Alien
Kai Aug 28
why are we so lonely
that we will create
our own fantasies
into distant memories
of a creature far away
wishing to communicate
humans must be incredibly lonely to wish for another being to speak to even from the stars.
Aug 27 · 196
Sonder
Kai Aug 27
you stop and see
that there is more
so much more now
to everyone around

they're not a someone
not a face in the crowd
they have hopes and dreams
struggles and down days


Ever individual
we will ignore
going about life
focused on ours
Sonder is a beautiful word. It means the profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
Aug 27 · 126
Chimkin
Kai Aug 27
hunger from long days
working to many hours
to make life possible

making some chimkin
for those late night
cravings we all feel

feeling like garbage
and ready to cry
late at night 11:45

bringing gifts to friends
yummy crunchy chimkin
they cheer me up again
The story behind "chimkin" is that one late night at like 2AM my brother made fried chicken and brought it to a friend as comfort food. The had the heady sleep deprived mind so they kept calling the chicken "chimkin". The name stuck and now late night meals are "chimkin".
Aug 26 · 91
Dysania
Kai Aug 26
waking up again
experiencing dysania
weary yet again
Aug 26 · 78
Untitled
Kai Aug 26
when sitting at your desk
you experience hypesthesia
from being to statuesque
it's called paresthesia

don't want to swear
by yelling out bollix
take it out with blare
or a string called grawlix

do you have that tickling
feeling on your niddick
don't know that christening
it's your nape to be specific

going into winter sun
that soft warm felicity
experienced by everyone
that is called apricity
Just a bunch of things people don't really know the names of. They have titles but we don't call them we describe them.
Aug 25 · 88
Convenience Store
Kai Aug 25
what is more convenient
than a convenient store

open twenty-four hours
waiting for me as always

to bundle my nerves up
and venture out again

when I get there at last
I'm greeted with silence

with the washed out lights
and tired apathetic cashier

a place where no one cares
and your business is yours

no judging eyes found here
for those sleep deprived tears
I always want to write like twenty poems when it's this late but I'm going to stop and try to sleep again now...
Aug 25 · 92
1:59AM
Kai Aug 25
those dark bruised eyes
sag with desperate yearning
to find sleep again
God, I really need to go to bed... I'm so tangled up it's like if I relax for one moment to sleep I will fall apart completely.
Aug 23 · 320
3:54AM
Kai Aug 23
it's still dark out
it's eerie and quiet
still as a grave now
It's so wonderfully spooky in the early morning. when all is still and silent, not a person in sight.
Aug 20 · 95
Life's Lemons
Kai Aug 20
life gave you lemons
least it gave you something
life isn't so free
Life isn't so kind as to give things for free, a lemon is a blessing from such a fickle creature.
Aug 20 · 173
Cruel Life
Kai Aug 20
life won't be gentle
and it doesn't know love

life will drag on
and bring you down too

life isn't ever fair
and it's certainly not kind
Aug 20 · 42
Yog-Sothoth
Kai Aug 20
the lurker at the threshold
who holds the key and the gate
he lives within the beyond one
and is the opener of the way

the all-in-one the one-in-all
omniscience and omnipresence
the invulnerable immortal god
he who sees all and all that was

creature born of the nameless mist
one that had father of many horrors
he has sired the unspeakable one
and the tentacle god of sky and sea

let the end be brought about now
through his will and the will of all
that all outer gods may become one
and all inner gods become none
Let the end times begin and bring anew the true world.
Aug 20 · 447
Dark Tides
Kai Aug 20
in the midnight sprawl
where shadows lurk
and shady happenings begin
we sit on the beach alone

just inches away from the tide
the black consuming waters
that ebb and flow closely
like it's reaching out

you lap the sand at my feet
whispering darker things
in the rolling waves nearby
drawing and tempting me closer

every night we sit together
mumbling in dead tongues
of the woes they have bestowed
upon my head yet again

and every night i come closer
to reaching back out to you
as you twist and churn waiting
to enthrall my fragile mind
https://www.salon.com/2014/07/19/why_our_brains_love_the_ocean_science_explains_what_draws_humans_to_the_sea/
Aug 20 · 53
never-living-dead
Kai Aug 20
The never-living
like rejected gifts
a whisper unsaid
The never-dead
like heaped trash
a broken thing
They are only the beginning.
Aug 19 · 115
Instinctual Fear
Kai Aug 19
whether it's for fear of starvation-
or wild animals and their predation-
we understand those instinctual fears-
that we've developed through the years-

but what of that lurking thing we see-
that screams in night like a banshee-
what made humans so deathly scared-
of a pale sunken vision with its teeth bared-

what gave us the instinctual scopophobia-
or that sinking feeling of nyctophobia-
what creature hounded our predecessors-
that we fear slunken things as aggressors-
What in the past could have inspired this fear?
Aug 19 · 422
Ocean Cries
Kai Aug 19
dearest sweet ocean
i'm sorry so sorry
we never heard you
How can you see tears in an ocean of waves? The pain we inflict upon our world is sometimes unnoticed or ignored.
Aug 19 · 62
Briney Deep
Kai Aug 19
The ocean is terrifying
bone-chilling abysses
that demand sacrifices

Deep cavernous waters
that consume the light
within it's dark night

An eldritch creature
that is old as time
that we fill with grime

The depths will wait
as water ebbs and flows
a creature we cannot oppose
The ocean both enthralls me and terrifies me.
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