i hope you will write to me
   years from now
when you have grown
when i am old
    when you are on your own

i hope you will write to me
     and remember my love
a heart-changing
lifetime lasting
    blessing from above

i hope you will write to me
    and realize just how proud
i am to be your mother
just me and you
    surviving all the doubt


i know you will always write to me
   because your heart is kind
you loved me well
more than i deserved
    forever intertwined

im standing, barely
    trying to see what's around me
im crying but no one can hear,
    not really
people throw their advice at me and it hits hard like ice against my skin
   and all i want is for someone to
hear me
    to really listen
they keep giving me words i did not ask for
  
we love you, we’re here for you
keep it; give it up
    life is hard; welcome to adult life

i open up to you
   but it’s still not enough
you’re the one who sees me cry;
   my tears are hidden by my smiles
to everyone else
you’re the one who knows my pain;
    my laugh hides the torment
from the outsiders

here i am, standing,
barely
wishing you knew
that i have given you
all there is to give.