How come I only feel alive when I'm losing my mind
How come the flashes from history
Bring back so much misery
But the memories of love
Bring more tears from above
The heavens aren't real
Just raindrops
And pretending to feel
My guilt is real
For what I do not know
My memories are a circus
A short circuit
Ready to stroke
Lighting and electrocution
But never the fun colorful
Kind
Only the pain and deadly
Mind

I'm losing my mind
Perhaps lost it long ago
I used to feel some hope
Now I know none
Miss all the fun
The pain has only just begun
Once I feel a little
A waterfall of all
Comes bursting through
Every five ******* minutes

I've lost it
I'm crashing down
I want my memories to stay calm
Ride the boat through
Stop crashing into rocks
And falling
Sinking
And drowning
Every **** day

I just want to play
And be loved
Remember my past
And not want to crash

Why can't I

I took the memories
Poured them down the drain
I do not retain
A single stain

My passed is gone forever
Its a little too clever
Or so I thought

If I erased my past
It would always last
She comes to me whispering

My dreams of her haunt
In a dungeon of taunts
The pain flaunts

The doctor asks what's wrong
I can't sing the song
I've forgotten from so long

It plagues my being
I'm still sitting there weeping
Blocked away from my frontal lobe

I am like a globe
I begin to mope
If shook around

If left alone I'll be bland
No harm or evil plans
My brain is at ease

I shake at night in my dreams
I'm left with awful feelings
Uncertainty what it means

I shiver and hurt
Pain hidden under my shirt
The scars are there

My heart is bare
I swear it so
I am not broke

Not anymore
For this I must be sure
I am a new girl

I do not know the other
Must not speak of her ever
If you are clever

Leave it behind
Pay it no mind
Or else I'll lose mine

Living like this is fine
The nightmares are for sleep
The new me isnt for the weak
What you can see is free
I can pretend
That is me
I'm free
Or so it seems

Shifting shifting
Into gear
I'm driving without fear
Vroom vroom
So far I go
Where I do not know

Chit chat chit chat
They all speak
Without them I am weak

Swirling swirling
My Brain is fried
I let out and cry

Nic NAC nic NAC
Give myself  a slap
I need to take a nap

Plic plac ship lac
I need a whicky snack
For I am not a bat

I'm losing my mind
It bellows obscenities
Can I still follow the rhyme

I lost track of time
I have no dime ?
Save me save me sir mime

It makes no sense
Too much suspense
My body is too tense

I want it to stop
   Please God
Let it stop
I'm tired
It's screaming
Tens of voices
New ideas
So many choices
I forget them
Before I start them
Then I'm off exchanging myself
For a new shelf
I'm talking
I'm dancing
I'm cleaning
I'm
ScrEAMING  
It's creamy~
Words words
They don't add up

Help me help me
god above
Help me help me
Ones I love
I'm losing my ****
I'm losing all of it

Am I bipolar
Or just ******* nuts
I cannot contain my lusts
I want it all
I want a nap
I want to fall
And run a lap

La la la la lee do da da
I sing a little song
La la la le do da da
I cry a little long
La la la le do da da
I scream hahahAHAHAHA

I am not an Artist~
I am not a talent
I am nothing much
But leftover lunch

Molding and burning
In the evening sun
My end has begun
I am in need of savior
No chance with my flavor

Throw me away
Let me sleep
I am a jumbled up mess
Trying to count too many sheep

Peep peep little one
I am insane
I took your brain
And set it on a plane
It'll never return
The same

You are to blame
Who are you
Who am I ?
Maybe I'll know
When I die