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Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Pacing pacing
Pacing racing
Falling screaming

Staying going
Writing cryiNG
RACING RACING
WORDS WORDS WORDS

S T O P
NO NO

Soemone talk to me
I'm feeling needy
No wait

I feel great
It's 3am
I don't even need sleep

I've slept all day
So tired
I feel uninspired

Wow it's so pretty
I am too
Everyrhing is okay

Listen to me
LISTEN TO ME
STOP STOP

IGNORING ME

Trauma trauma
Get over it
Stop throwing a fit

Are you okay
You need help
I'll do anything

Dear god
Am i crazy
Everyone says i am

Look at them
Disturbing
I can't be like that

No wait
I like this
It makes me different

Dear god **** me
It's not unique
I'm a freak

Tears of joy yesterday
Now drops of sorrow
Ahaha love is borrowed

Whisper whipser
calming calming
The storm is coming

I sent you a novel
YOU DIDN'T REPLY
Dear god my minds dry

Stop talking
Speak to me
So restless endlessly

Daydreaming
Oh the day is gone
Where'd you all go

Time is slow
No it's F A S T
Nothing is meant to last

I'm tired now
I can't sleep
Maybe I'll research

Something neat

Goodnight
Goodnight
LEAVE ME ALONE

Okay im sorry
For the harsh tone

Why are you leaving

                        This is normal
I think i need to accept I'm like my father
With a bipolar disorder
My minds gone crazy
Not sure who i was today
People said wow yoyre so funny and happy today
But yesterday i wanted to end myself

I can't sleep again

I wish i was normal lol
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Why
Why won't anyone
Love me

Why won't anyone
Care for me

I give so much
And recieve none

I can't stop crying
No use trying

No one wants me
I know
I won't ask you to

I just want to know
Why
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
I'm in denial
That anyone loves me
It's not paranoia

I know the truth
It echoes in my head
As tears fall onto my bed

Nobody cares
I'm just a tool to use
For them to get ahead

Noones ever loved me
Noones ever gone beyond for me
I can't fight my insecurites

Because they're right
I am unloved
A cursed child

a mistake at birth
A burden growing up
Last resort as an adult

I'm never a first choice
Barely Last choice
So I'll lower my voice

Let myself be used
It's what tools are for
Not like I'll ever be beautiful

Why did you like me
Why did you sleep with me
Just desperate for any company

Found someone new
No surprise
Already used to the lies

No boy will love me
Nor any friend
But they'll sure pretend

Can't blame them
I don't even love me
filled with self pity

Years on repeat
Everyone leaves me
Always shamelessly

Not one soul
Would walk one extra step
To help me as I wept

Nor does anyone
Find me worth
Anything but a empty purse

I am unloved
Yet i exist
Why did god make me

So ******* helpless
This is a ****** mess of words but yeah hey atleast i know why ive been crying all day. All my thoughts and everything thats been happening has been echoing in my head that im alone. Im never a first choice and I'm only around for people who are desperate. They all leave me for someone better. Always. I guess my mom loves me at least.
If she didn't id have killee myself already lol
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
I am so ******* tired
Of being sad
Tired of trying
With everything i have

Tired of living
Just to cry
Please god
Let me die

My tears came
From being alone
Now theyre here
For reasons unknown

Waking up everyday
Just to lay in bed
Dreading life away
Scared of what's ahead

It's so dark
I can't see a future
All i know is pain
Why is life such torture

Why do i fear death
How can it be worse
Then living this solem life
To breathe is a ******* curse

My suffering is on repeat
Isolated and alone
I tried to break free
Eternal hell I've been shown

God writing these words
Makes me sick
All it does
Is slow down my fit

I could never convey
The endless hell
Why do i even bother
In trying to tell

Someone ******* shoot me
Since i can't do it myself
I'm a nobody don't worry
You won't go to hell

For killing me
Wouldn't be sin
No-one would care
As I die with a
Grin
Life isnt getting any better its just gotten worse in new ways
  Jan 2019 Hello Daisies
Abhijeeth
Do you know about the color blue?
It is in the sky and in me too.
Disguising itself as the color of calm,
in the river held back by a dam,
always in the background, in neglect,
blue hits me when I least expect.

The color of calm has a hidden side,
waiting for me to get tongue tied.
Silence is blue's favorite pastime,
tried to fight him with music and a rhyme,
blue is good in color only,
he haunts me whenever I am lonely.

A bit of advice from me to you,
advice about the demon blue.
Don't listen to the voices in your head,
don't let the color tie you to your bed,
I know it's tough to fight the blue,
I want you to know I believe in you,
don't let this story be about blue,
take it back, it's time you flew,
don't let this blue color define you,
look in the mirror and say f*ck you blue.
This poem is about depression and my fight with it. I compare it to a river waiting to burst through a dam, always lurking in the background, waiting for a chance to make me feel miserable. Music and poems have been my release from it. I end the poem by asking the reader to fight it with all their strength if he/she ever faces it, because the only way to survive this demon is by not giving into it.
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Depression
                           -----------
                          Lonliness
                 ­          -------------
                          Suffering
               ­              ---------
                       Pain.        Love
                Hurt.                    Scream­s
         Hated.                                  Needy
    Abused.                                             Sad
  Mocked.                                           Ugly
  Ashamed.                                   Religion
      Scared.                                     Scarred
         Poor.                                          Lost
           Weak.                                  Sick
               Fragile _    hurt _   broken
Hi
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Pounding
  Pounding
           Pounding
                            POUNding
                                         POUNDING
                      poUNDING
               POUND
ING
       ING
POUND

Everyday
It pounds
Each side
I'm on the
     ground
Crying
Cry

   Ing
How many times
Can i wish
     For
        Eternal
Dark

            Ness
My head hasnt stopped throbbing in pain for over a month now
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