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Mar 2018 · 116
Vanish
Hannah Mar 2018
you know for a fact that you are corporeal,
that you and your arms and your legs are real.
you have hopes and dreams and aspirations
strong enough that not a soul could steal
what is held so tightly in your tiny hands,
mind whirring so quickly with unspoken plans.
but slowly, surely, they break you to pieces,
grind you to particles the size of sand
and you try to gather yourself to become whole once more
to follow the vision that resonated in your core,
but their words are too tiresome, bothersome, ruthless,
your muscles and mind too fatigued, too sore.
so you let yourself drip like melted wax down a candle,
your dreams now flimsy and useless as a cheap summer sandal.
holes, too big, too wide, poked in what is to be,
and all of it just becomes too much to handle.
so you make yourself smaller from the outside
and curl up your consciousness, deep, deep inside,
because all of them have convinced you that you should vanish
and by everyone else's rules, never your own, you always abide.
Some feelings because I always feel invisible
Mar 2018 · 70
Bottom
Hannah Mar 2018
life is
rock bottom
when you
lie awake
and think what you used to have
when you try and take
more to numb the pain
but instead it becomes
a flood
Mar 2018 · 255
Uncertainty
Hannah Mar 2018
"it's not fair!"
i scream
"how could you take this from me..."
how could you deal such uncertainty
my future
is undeniable
pliable
perfect
all the work i'm doing is supposed to be worth it
yet by 2100
there will be 10 billion
and what will it mean to be a civilian?
the world which i hold as my own, my dominion,
is no longer the haven
of my sheltered opinion.
Some thoughts I have in my many existential crises.
Feb 2018 · 268
Shed
Hannah Feb 2018
what if i could
shed my skin
reveal the person
i hide within
hold her up
on her two wobbly feet
the confident soul
i wish i could be.
Feb 2018 · 239
Panic
Hannah Feb 2018
tightness

in my throat

tears

in my eyes

dread

in my core

weights

on my feet

breathing
ragged

vision
blurred

mind
running

"you're nothing"
it purrs.
Feb 2018 · 130
Honesty
Hannah Feb 2018
getting in
trouble

for telling
the truth

has only
taught me

how to lie.
Feb 2018 · 140
Failure
Hannah Feb 2018
who are you

now

when all you ever were

were the A's on your papers

and now

there is nothing

but failure.
Feb 2018 · 74
Kindness
Hannah Feb 2018
you ask, Dear,
why i am not nice to this world

well, Dear,
it is because this world has not been
nice to me
Feb 2018 · 103
Disappear
Hannah Feb 2018
i starve myself
so that i will disappear.

i starve myself
because i feel as if already
i'm not even here.
Hannah Feb 2018
for so long

i believed you were wrong

but i am so tired now

maybe you were right all along.
Feb 2018 · 95
Influence
Hannah Feb 2018
did you stop to think
that your unkind words
fell upon the shoulders
of a weary and fractured soul
and your's were the last
she needed
to break
Think before you speak.
Feb 2018 · 125
Loneliness
Hannah Feb 2018
isolation
is like a tiny gray box
soundproof
sealed tight from the outside world
and you have no key
no way to escape
because once you are there
you can't get out
this is your home now
this tiny gray box
just you
and your thoughts
Feb 2018 · 159
Roads
Hannah Feb 2018
roads are like veins

tree roots

physical manifestations

of human nomadism

written chemically

into the base pairs

of our DNA.
Feb 2018 · 112
Souls
Hannah Feb 2018
i like to read poetry

because it is like reading someone's soul
splayed out across the coffee table

they bare all for you.

i read poetry because i am alone

and it is the closest I can ever be
to another human.
Hannah Feb 2018
And who am I to stand here and preach
From my first world society
About how hard it is
To have depression and anxiety
When people are dying
Because of hunger and disease
Because our resources cant meet all of our needs
And all I do is consume
How dare you presume that I am complaining because
I'm not
I'm not

— The End —