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Hannah Mar 2018
you know for a fact that you are corporeal,
that you and your arms and your legs are real.
you have hopes and dreams and aspirations
strong enough that not a soul could steal
what is held so tightly in your tiny hands,
mind whirring so quickly with unspoken plans.
but slowly, surely, they break you to pieces,
grind you to particles the size of sand
and you try to gather yourself to become whole once more
to follow the vision that resonated in your core,
but their words are too tiresome, bothersome, ruthless,
your muscles and mind too fatigued, too sore.
so you let yourself drip like melted wax down a candle,
your dreams now flimsy and useless as a cheap summer sandal.
holes, too big, too wide, poked in what is to be,
and all of it just becomes too much to handle.
so you make yourself smaller from the outside
and curl up your consciousness, deep, deep inside,
because all of them have convinced you that you should vanish
and by everyone else's rules, never your own, you always abide.
Some feelings because I always feel invisible
Hannah Mar 2018
life is
rock bottom
when you
lie awake
and think what you used to have
when you try and take
more to numb the pain
but instead it becomes
a flood
Hannah Mar 2018
"it's not fair!"
i scream
"how could you take this from me..."
how could you deal such uncertainty
my future
is undeniable
all the work i'm doing is supposed to be worth it
yet by 2100
there will be 10 billion
and what will it mean to be a civilian?
the world which i hold as my own, my dominion,
is no longer the haven
of my sheltered opinion.
Some thoughts I have in my many existential crises.
Hannah Feb 2018
what if i could
shed my skin
reveal the person
i hide within
hold her up
on her two wobbly feet
the confident soul
i wish i could be.
Hannah Feb 2018

in my throat


in my eyes


in my core


on my feet




"you're nothing"
it purrs.
Hannah Feb 2018
getting in

for telling
the truth

has only
taught me

how to lie.
Hannah Feb 2018
who are you


when all you ever were

were the A's on your papers

and now

there is nothing

but failure.
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