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Hannah 6d
Why?
Why do you have to make me feel like I’m tied down?
Tied down to your rules, your wants, and your needs.
I have choices too.
Opinions unheard, ignored, mocked.
I’m one of three daughters, yet you choose me.
The only time I’m chosen is so you can make your attempts at manipulating me,
taking any sense of freedom I should have over my future, my life, my needs.
Denying the chance to let me prove you wrong.
You may be right, I have called Wolf too many times but in this case, it’s different.
Give me the chance to prove you wrong,
to prove that I can do it.
That I can be free from this rope that holds me back from what I want.
Let me just be independent for once without the need for your so-called supervision and advice.
The advice that’s more like scolding and yelling.
Darkening my mood, deepening the depression.
Your words linger in my head for days upon days.
Have you ever taken a chance to stop and think that you may be the reason?
The reason I am so desperate to escape,
the reason I am dreaming of the day I can be independent.
Hannah Jan 13
The whispers in the wind are starting again.
Every inch of me is covered in chills as my soul passes through my body.
It desperately struggles to choose between many or none.
Choosing many gives it the chance to be hurt more as there are more to be hurt by.
Invisibility is a strong feeling which is greater among more.
None can feel like an empty well that will soon be filled by the tears falling from my cheeks.
Sometimes none is more but often it is not.
Neglected by the souls of those who are too preoccupied by the slightest things,
Failing to give one second of their time to the one that needs it.
The one who needs to be embraced and feel the warmth of caring.
The one that wants to feel the love from words spoken to them of any topic.
The one who desperately wants to just be noticed for more than a mere second.
The very one who wants to feel like they are enough.
Hannah Dec 2020
I never get a ******* break.
Your that annoying sound from the dead fire alarms just chirping away at me.
It never stops.
I open my mouth and am silenced by you.
Your words of fire and rage.
I don’t know who’s winning.
You or my mind.
I can’t ever get a ******* break from this mess of a world.
Too many tasks with too little time.
Struggling to do right.
Your hellish yells don’t do anything but feed the fire of my anger.
The very anger that disrupts my ability to do what I need to do.
Running around like your messenger.
I just can’t ever catch a ******* break.
Hannah Dec 2020
I just wanted you to hold me
But I guess it was too much for me to ask.
You were too busy worrying about my past.
And I was left there wondering how long this will last.
I really just needed you to embrace me in your arms.
But instead, my news to you didn’t sound an alarm.
I was filled with guilt to the rim.
Hearing you say I made a mistake made my whole world dim.
The sparkle I once had with this world was lost.
I was in pieces falling apart.
But you didn’t seem to care about my heart.
I really just needed you to embrace me in your arms.
But I guess it was too much for me to ask.
Hannah Dec 2020
I’m weak.
I’m weak in the knees, in my hands, in my head.
All around I feel me trembling
Unable to stop.
Fear is the culprit behind the bars.
The cause of the pain.
The gut aching, hand shaking, head spinning sensation of the one and only known as fear.
Heart drops at the first thought
Beating as loud as a drum, as hard as a wrecking ball can impact a stone cold icy brick wall.
Escalating, elevating, climbing in speed.
Until it can’t carry that load of yours any longer.
Do you hear that?
Silence.
Silence at last.
Hannah Dec 2020
You
I am wondering when you will have time for this.
I can see you
But you don’t.
I can’t hear you
But you won’t
I have tried
You have failed
To do your part in this world.
Hannah Dec 2020
Do you care about me?
It doesn’t feel like it.
Do you forget that I am here too?
I feel invisible.
Do people forget that I like to talk too?
I feel alone.
Why are you not asking me?
I need you to ask me
Are you okay?
I need to hear those words.
I need someone to say them so I can release my bottle.
To help me on my path to happiness.
But I’m not sure when that day will come.
I’ve been waiting for a while.
No one seems to notice.
I suffer invisibly.
Just waiting.
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