I waited
Just waited
Waiting for the day
When you would text me

"Good morning beautiful"
How I waited for those 3 words
To pop up onto my screen

I waited    
Just waited
But they haven't came

So I wondered
And keep on wondering
Do you even miss me

a month has gone by
Still no word
I'm so crushed
But you don't see                

I hide my feelings
Behind closed screens
I pretend it doesn't bother me
Secretly it's driving me crazy

I fooled around
I had my fun
But none can compare to you

I miss your silly little smolder
The way you held me
I miss the fun times we had
The endless nights we slept together

I can go on forever
I wish it was different
I know it can't be
But if ever you need me
You know where to find me

Maybe I was so scared that he'd stop loving me
- I pushed him away instead

how awful goodbyes are.
do not mistake this as easy -
do not mistake my relief
as happiness in the act.
breaking your heart was
the hardest thing I've ever
done, and I will forever
feel your grief in my bones.

I'm sorry I loved you until
I didn't; I wanted you to be
the permanence etched into
my very blood cells but
nothing ever happens
the way you want it to,
and the way things happened
with you took every last
ounce of me and destroyed it.

so in a way, please understand
that you crafted this undoing.
in breaking my heart over and
over again, you set the foundation
to break your own - and you may
not understand that now, but
I hope someday you look back

and understand the way you broke
the girl who loved you steadfastly,
unconditionally, unquestioningly.
remember that I didn't wake up
one day and decide to love you
no longer, understand you chipped
away at my love until it wasn't
anything anymore. understand
I wanted more than anything in the
world to never hurt you, but you
left me with no other choice.

remember it wasn't me
who wrecked the house we
built together - understand
that you set fire to our bed
long before I left it.

Claiming you love me;
Yet you insult, yell
And emotionally abuse me.
If that's what love is,
Then I want none of it.

i know, i'm sorry
i said i'd never write about you again but
here is my apology.

1. we were just kids back then, i remember pulling your nightmares out of my blankets and whispering on the phone that i believed in you.

2. everything was so new and delicate and we just wanted to hold and break all of it. i can't blame you for wanting to know and destroy love.

3. the truth is that i miss you, but not in the way i should.

4. we may never have been in love, but i truly did feel like we were. i wish i had met you later on in life.

5. i'm sorry the little girl inside of me wanted to be enough for you, i'm sorry the person i am now couldn't be.

6. i know you didn't mean it when you told me it was my fault, but it still stings nonetheless.

7. it wasn't all your fault, i played a part too. i remember saying that i will love you forever.

8. i think i still will. but i know that i need to stay away.

9. i'm sorry we ended like this. i don't regret you. i regret letting you hurt me.

10. i pray that someone loves you better than i could. i pray that you learn. i pray that i do too.

11. i am sorry for everything, even when i shouldn't be.

12. goodbye and goodluck.