Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Vi Sep 11
I was born
But my life I just mourn

At 4 I was beat
Told that my behavior wasn’t so neat
Beating a child for disobeying you

I wanted to cry
But it wasn’t like you understood why
In your mind it was all right
Up to this day I don’t think you understood the fright in my eyes

I can’t blame you it’s how you we’re raised
But none the less I was amazed
Now it wasn’t in a positive way

At 9 I was weak when it came to reading
My teacher told this to you and you got angry
At this point I felt like crying
I shouldn’t have wanted to frankly
But I did

I was just a kid mom
One who was weak in English
I won’t deny this
But maybe just maybe if you had helped instead of yelled
I wouldn’t have felt like hell

By the time I was 15  I knew I was ***
But what was I suppose to say
You thought it was a sin
Even if I was your kin you would not have been accepting
Just another issue with westernization
A problem of being a part of this nation

I came out to you at 16
At that moment I think you forgot I came from your genes
Your first response wasn’t honey I love you
Or even I need time to process this
It was who turned you ***
It doesn’t work that way

At 19 I look back and ask myself why
And then my life I just mourn
This are the negative moments of my life and the pain  I remember.
Vi Sep 3
Those cuts won’t **** me
They never do

I just want the pain
For what I don’t know
But I make sure it’s slow
Make the blade go deep
But not enough for me to fall asleep

The pain is all I want
Maybe it’s because of the demons that haunt me
But that pain feels necessary
My friends are constantly wary
They think I will use this to **** myself
No I won’t that seems selfish

I punish myself for those demons
Don’t tell me they are not my fault
The wound in my heart just deepens

The cuts won’t **** me but they will bring me pain
But if I do die it won’t be in vein at-least then the demons will go away
Vi Sep 1
The demons they haunt me
Those voices scream in my head
They tell me to pick up that blade

That voice inside my head whispers my life just isn’t meant to be
There will be nothing to dread
Pick up that blade don’t be afraid

I pick it up my hand doesn’t quiver
Maybe it’s a sign because I feel no chills I don’t shiver
I pick it up and move it closer
I wonder If I should have wrote a letter to give my loved one closure

It’s too late now
Drip drip
Vi Aug 29
How do I know they love me?
We never say I love you
So how do I know?

My mom wakes up early in the morning
She got home from work at 2 am
Now that’s pretty late
But she’s up and making me food
Says alright she’s saying
The food is made she goes to work
During her break she calls and asks me if I ate

She never says I love you but she shows it.
She asks me what I want to eat
It doesn’t mater if it’s easy
But she makes it just for me
It can take her two hours to prepare
That’s how I know she cares

She is always there.
She never says she loves me but she shows it

Then there is my dad. He doesn’t show his emotions
But he’s there even through all my commotion
I’m not a perfect child
I get angry and throw a fit
But he doesn’t yell at me one bit

He knows if he does I’ll cry
And for that reason he tries
To not make me sad
He doesn’t want me to be mad

He can tell when I’m stressed
And he knows what is best.
He asks if I want help
He says don’t worry about the money
I don’t want you to worry

He doesn’t say he loves me
But he shows it

If I fail a test
He tells me I can still be the best
I’m out here stressing
But he’s here reminding me I always have his blessings

My parents don’t say they love me
But they show it
And from their actions I know it
Vi Aug 29
The blade is in my hand
I’m not Afraid the pain I can withstand
The blade slides closer

But then he dials my phone
He makes me smile and for that night I realize I’m not alone
I put the blade down

The next day the birds are chirping
I still have the urge to pick up that blade
That night he doesn’t call
And there comes my fall
Vi Aug 28
It didn’t take long
After all I wasn’t that strong
I was another one of those ticking time bombs
Just waiting to explode

Not out of anger but out of pain
Caused by these chains
I was a bird locked in a cage
Looking for a career that offered me a high wage
I was respecting my parents age
I had to follow their ways

After all they raised me
I had to follow who they wanted me to be
Could they not see??
The pain was killing me

I wasn’t focusing on what I wanted
It was all about them
I was trying to live up to their exceptions
These were not my aspirations
I went into this to get their affection
Instead towards myself I felt detestation

Now I hold that knife in my hand
Wondering why I gave up everything for just some adoration
It won’t take long
I’m just a ticking time bomb
This poem is about following another persons' wishes instead of doing what makes you happy. It is to show the pain that can occur and one of the reasons people especially in my community tend to not follow their passion.

— The End —