Well into the night,
Caught between dream and day,
I examine the space beside me,
Where my love should lay.

Where does my heart lie?
    In a church,
        On a stage?
    In a book,
        On a page?

How does my heart lie?
    On its side?
        On its face?
     In a pile,
        In some place?

Why does my heart lie?
    To my friends,
       Old and new?
    To my family,
        My own heart too?

When you have a toothache,
The dentist pulls it.
When you have a stomachache,
The doctor eases it.
When you have a headache,
Medicine soothes it.
When you have a backache,
The chiropractor fixes it.

So why is it...

There is no dentist, or doctor,
There is no medicine or chiropractor,
To heal this heartache?

I force a smile
      broken up by teeth,
To hide a soul
       broken up by grief.

You waited through my victories.
You waited through my miseries.
You waited while I cried
You waited for when I smiled.
You waited when I turned away from you.
You waited while I was with him.
You waited when I was insecure.
You waited
     And waited For me.

And now I am the one,
     Who is Waiting for you.

Your heart.
   broken,
         battered,
    beaten
         and bruised,
                                but still beating.


What's more beautiful then that?

My foundation is cracked,
And my mortar needs replacing.
My bricks have faded,
And desperately need reshaping.
I don't have the strength I once had,
Years of abuse have shortened my life.
The cool paint of graffiti,
The scraping of a knife,
The burn of riot fires that mark me.
I have been spat on,
Kicked, cried on, yelled at.
I stand from Dawn to Dawn,
As a constant support.
A constant reminder
That a wall,
Broken and bruised,
Worn and small,
Can still love you.

She stands up strait to balance the weight that is pulling her back.
She wears a smile to distract from her worn eyes.
She helps others because she so desperately needs it.
The only reason she doesn't self inflict is then people will know.
She eats very little because her heart has sunk to her stomach.
She drinks a lot to allow her to cry later.

She's so broken she seems whole to you.

A stranger may look on in wonder,
Curious of its splendor.
They may ask,
"Who made this mask?"
And With a heavy sigh,
I'll curtly reply:
"The mask is of my own design,
I made it faultless, line by line."

They'll look on in perplex.
Then comment next,
"What purpose does it serve?"
My answer, "To preserve."
They'll give a questioning look,
And my eyes will be those of a crooke.
"To preserve a broken state,
Which has been rather ill of late.
Behind this mask,
Lies an ungodly task.
The broken soul,
Is ***** as coal.
The bleeding heart,
Needs a jump start.
The shattered mind,
Could use a new shine...

But to speak of more,
Is to open a horrendous door.
There is so much pain,
Anyone else would fain."

They'll continue to stare at me,
"May i ask.. if I may see?"

I'll pause. And think.
Before I speak,
"If I let you behind my mask,
There is but one thing I ask.
Look around with care,
I can't take another tear."

My portal will take me around the world, Without me leaving my room as it should.
Twisting, turning, climbing fast.
To reach a future, present, past.

Honey, I know you and I will never be,
So I keep my love in my fantasy.
With dragon tails and daring males.
With gorgeous girls and shiny pearls.
You and I,
will touch the sky.
The earthes will quake
and kingdoms will shake.
Our love will abound,
With no one around.
We'll thrive in my mind,
Where No one in unkind.

Sadly this dream won't last.
This world moves on too fast.
You'll never know,
And I'll never show.
I'll just sit here idly,
Living in my fantasy.

I want to run.
        Run with all the force and might my frail body can muster.

        Run.
        As my chest heaves with it's last ragged breaths.
        My legs burn with all the intensity of fiery Pompeii.
        My feet bleed from the jagged rocks and thorns that have worn their way through my soles.
  
        But I don't care.

I Just want to run.
        And ONLY when my body collapses,unable to move another muscle, will I be content to rest.

        Until I gain enough strength to Run again.

your eyes
Your face
your touch
your body pressed up against mine
your lips caress mine
Your firm hands
press me
into the stone wall behind me
minutes feel like seconds
with all the emotion of hours.
I know this sounds
like a sappy love song
but that's how you make me feel
like i am flying
falling
pushed
pulled
relaxed
excited.
to be yours
for years to come
would be the single
greatest thing in my life.
I'd do anything for you
I love everything about you
this is what i try to convey
in the little things I do
a brush of the hand
a teasing nudge
a peck on the cheek
a far off gaze
a gentle smile
You do so much for me
and I try to
do the same
for you.
take my hand
and I'll take you for a ride
where we're strapped together
we'll love it
we'll hate it
and in the end
we'll want to do it again
Thanks for coming into my life.
to the one and only love of my life.