Rally of faces gathered in groups
build a large crowd crying for truth
shields of black night forming a wall
blocking the protest from getting through

Smokey haze of poisonous gas
tossed from above where the bright white cast
soldiers march in with gun and knife
darkness protected guarding its mask

Meaning lost, forgotten in pain
arrests and murders let free to take place
a movement disbanded by merciless force
and invalidated by terrible names

"Terrorists and bigots all who align!"
none to believe it true, but all remain afraid
of the government's arm to silence questions
and the wrath of unforgiving puppets

The Revolution is coming
pay wound with war
enough to join us
and tyranny will fall

A parcel of life
wrapped in a red bow
lifted by the good
and left in our hands
how do you handle
the unwieldy gift?
And is it to be
opened where you stand?

Miracles will come
most unexpected
always unknown and
loved in their splendor
So how should i feel
when you hand me this?
A bouquet for one
naming me center
of your world

The robin sings its golden hymn,
the turtledove its coo.
While 'neath the spring of wet and damp
does life return anew.

The grass turns green, the snow to rain.
The trees bow to the sun.
As leaves sprout from their mighty boughs
where dewdrops drip and run.

Oh, how the old forgotten rot,
the sting of winter's wrath,
all melts away and heals in heat
as deer soon shed their racks.

A world rebirth so fondly sought
lest snows return again.
We seek the flower of new spring,
sweet solace such to send.

They say that you died peacefully.
I can only hope that was the case.
I wasn’t there when you needed me.
For six years, I haven't seen you face.

We had our good times and bad.
I choose a pink rock like the salmon you caught
after tearing me away from my dad.

You were there for me when he passed.
Some think that you knew all along.
The disease that he had given him by his dad
Was the same one he passed onto me.

You were there when they gave me the news.
How I'd never have children again.
Then, I was shipped overseas
for a job with little pay in the end.

It was my wife that called me,
my little boy that found you in the yard.
As I strike your name into this headstone
it finally hit me that you're gone.

"You can do anything you set your mind to."

What if you lost it along the way?
Is this just another fable I fell for,
a lie I've been told, or something more?
Does it ring true?
And if I've lost my mind,
then how do I know
I really love you?

Imagine a wasp
With no stinger, no threat
Would you still hate them?

'
























































'

I used to be one, alpha and alone.
Then I met another and we became two.

A second pair of ones made us group to four.
Separate couples in love conjoined by the door.

I thought, "Yes, perfection resting in one place.
No single forsaken. No odd to replace."
And with the others I began to relate.
Between all my lovers, dancing figure eights.

Confusion was nowhere until one had left.
Disbanding impending, loneliness beset.

For what was I if not dependent on others?
And what was love if not so fragile to shatter?

An odd now, our pairs gone. Back to times once far past.
I should have known dancing figure eights would not last.

Creation, division, subtraction, addition.
Another number reluctant to submission
in hiding behind all these makeshift partitions
preventing us from making our own decisions.

I cast off my labels. I am not a one
because people are people and love is still love.

Whether odd or even, whether large or small,
partners will always forget about it all.

They care for the person and not for the name
which makes it my fault that they left all the same.
I'll still dance with numbers and laugh at their games,
but when sadness takes over, I'm the one to blame.

I'm not number but a person, a fraud,
and love is something of which I was never taught.

What is white?
The amalgamation of all color
combined into a pure beam of light
not turned a muddy brown

And how is this true?
A storm of emotions not resulting in chaos
but in order through
a single shade

White like the snow
White like bones
pure as holy
fair as just
What is white?

There is no real white
no truth, no right
All stained by some other color
because even the most beautiful, wonderful things
have a shadow

The rain fell like snow
A mist above the ground
Gentle as the flakes of winter
Warm as the last days of summer
echoing whispers of birdsong
permeating the air

What was it called again?
That quiet strength it brings
right the wrongs of yesterday
calico thoughts turned to grey
remember the happiness I once had
and form another memory

Cold and shallow shadows
blowing across the snow
in every hope of finding
the world they used to know,
they grab us as we pass them
and draw us toward the dark,
begging for us to save them
from the misery they hold.

They've stolen many a soul,
now trapped within the trees.
The forest's labored breathing
the only proof of the deceased.
The icicles that rattle
as mediums for their songs
of woe and fearsome hatred
doomed to never cease.

When you were taken by them,
disappearing like the rest,
I vowed that I would find you
and free you from their nest.
Were it the frozen wasteland
or the jaws of death itself,
I'd fear not its making
and traverse it nonetheless.

I knew I'd never find you
but I searched each day and night
until the days stopped rising
as the trees swallowed the light.
And in this hinterland hiding
the love to which I'm bound,
I came to accept my passing
as proof of what I found.

Then in the forest shadows
I saw the massive tree
with roots and vines like chains
to hold down what was once free.
A withered, massive birdcage.
An angel nestled inside.
The light dimly glowing
from where the fallen bird did hide.

The angel glanced out coldly
with pitch-black eyes and hair.
Surrounded by death and beauty
was this maiden so fair.
A flower so fragile
within this world of pain.
The captive of the forest,
cast out by pride and shame.

She ne'er woke from her trance,
trapped in this desolate place,
tortured like all the others
within the forest maze.
The only light descending
upon the sullied ground.
The next queen of the forest
and to its cycle bound.

I bid you farewell
though forever it may seem
a thousand years in seconds
as you anxiously watch the clock
And time will keep on moving
just slower to our gaze
a spinning broken record
a time capsule to be bought

How stoic a reminder
of all that we may be
chimes of a bygone era
set in our memories
Returning to it never
though that be the silent hope
but time is unforgiving
as we sit in reverie

Our questions go unanswered
our wishes and our dreams
decaying and forgotten
as we trample on them still
in the senseless hope of finding
the very thing we broke
the hearts of all around us
our thirst for pain fulfilled

And though I say goodbye
as broken as I am
a mere reflection of the truth
in the shattered mirror of life
I welcome all this chaos
and cherish all the pain
because deep down I know
it's proof that I'm alive

The thunder clouds roll o'er the hills
Their stunning beauty gives me chills
Sky horses in stampede
Afraid of what these awesome creatures
bring unto this world of sorrows
wondering where they'll lead

But when life brings bad weather
I carry my umbrella
and hold it upside down
to catch the rain between the sunshine
to gaze upon it in the moonlight
grateful for what I found

I saw the grace within the lightning
and realized it wasn't so frightening
breathing the calm of the storm
While chaos spun around its fantasy
I witnessed true nature's majesty
and watched the butterflies swarm

Dancing silhouettes in sunlight
dazzling dewdrops of flowery white
pristine beauty I never thought I'd see
Happiness flows like a river
endless stream stretching forever
the first time I've ever felt so free

The frog croaked softly
amid the morning mist
His breath hung in the air
puffs of October's fall
The birds chirped in splendor
as the frost captured their song
holding notes in suspension
until others returned the call


And on the water, lily pads
floated past in a gentle breeze
the size of china saucers
we'd use whilst sipping tea
a bridge of small proportions
the hopscotch game of life
a crossing from our world to theirs
under the crimson leaves

Birds came to watch with envy
atop their crooked perch
Bugs skated to and fro
across the liquid glass
The dandelion dancers
drifted above the pool
and stood on lily pad ferries
where the bullfrogs had sat

The forest was a portrait
by Van Gogh and Claude Monet
A storm of autumn colors
the lily pads ablaze
A stillness to be broken
beneath the sun's warm smile
The tranquil winds kept blowing
the fire sparked by our gaze

The music of the angels
disguised by amber leaves
amidst the forest wildfire
ne'er to melt the morning frost
And people pass, indifferently
the beauty that was there
as none but I did witness
the life this fall had brought

A single word entered my mind
and exited with ease,
but behind it lay a trail of blood
streaking the muddied ground.
It led into the dark abyss
that ne'er been touched by light,
for the eclipse of a new moon
watched the silent and endless night.
I held my lantern higher still
to pass the foggy way,
suppressing my fears with every step
beside the glowing flame.
And in the brewing clouds above,
contorted faces screamed.
They howled and wailed in hopeless song,
demanding to be freed,
but their cries were never to be heard
and fell upon deaf ears,
and once aware, they wept and sobbed,
watering the forest with their tears.
The trees hadn't a need for rain;
they were already dead,
so it pooled along the path I strode
where the blood had once led.
In the darkness, glowing eyes
studied the earth where I had stepped
and whispered foul expressions;
things I shall never forget.

I clutched the lantern tighter,
but the flame was almost out.
It flickered before being swallowed
by the unforgiving gloom.
Then from the shadows echoed the word
between the crooked stone,
and with it a flurry of voices
of the people I had known.
The screeching wind--with its sharp fangs--
whipped me until I knelt
and cowered in horror,
hiding the pain I felt.
These waking dreams tormented me
but offered me a deal.
Continuous temptations made me think,
"this isn't real."
Were it not for this thought,
but in my other ear,
the devil whispered to me
exactly what I wanted to hear,
I would be gone.  But the promise of light
compelled me to open my eyes,
and the wind had blinded me
from seeing the demon's lies.
The temptations were too strong,
and the devil led me away.
Death still lingers o'er the forest
that shall never see the day.

Such cruel words to say
to someone you love

Not "See you later"
or "I'll miss you"

But "Goodbye."

The rain fell hard that day,
that day carved in my soul.
And not from anger did I cry,
nor happiness, nor woe.
I cried from pure acceptance
and the storm supplied my tears.
You're never coming back
You've reached the end of your years.

I grabbed the earth on which I knelt
and said a silent prayer.
I'll try to get to heaven,
so please, wait for me there.
This iniquitous demon
you pulled out from the mud
is trying hard to live
while you watch from above.

So wait just a little longer
as I try to save my soul.
I know I'm growing stronger,
not stuck in the muck below.
You are my saint and angel
so protect me in the night.
Help me with my demons
and take me to the light.

Blossoms growing
in earnest spring.
Leaves in meadows,
winds that sing.
Birds call out
with tranquil breath
as I lie still
in flowers of death.
In sunbathed glory,
creatures bask.
And I with them
without my mask.

The only place
where I can go,
be understood
for what I know
is here,
the place of broken dreams.
The graveyard
where you once met me.
You saw without
society's
disguise for ones
like you and me.
But you grew up
deprived of truth,
the one I found
while in my youth.

I handed you
a flower and smiled.
You said,
"Beautiful as always, child."
But you still couldn't
understand
why I stayed in
forsaken land.
You went your way
and I went mine.
You couldn't see
beauty divine.
You still cry every time
you come.
You know nothing
of what I've done.

There's nothing here,
so pass on by.
Ignore my life
until I die,
and then you'll say
those lies and thoughts.
"I loved you."
Yet, here I will rot
until that fateful
day draws near,
and you come home
to greet me here.
The people come
and speak their minds.
"You meant so much."
"You were so kind."

They talk from their
experience.
Wait some time
and forget your death.
The sadness you have
won't subside
from your regrets
before you died.
Feel the emptiness
fill your bones.
Then I will sit
by your gravestone
and say to you
the truth I know.
"I'm dead inside,
like you below."

What are these droplets upon my face?
Tears?  No.
I call them weakness.

My brother slammed the door shut,
banishing the bitter winds outside
from intruding upon our solitude.
Living on our own wasn't as hard as we'd thought it'd be.
"You're back late," I remarked from my seat on the couch.
He ignored me in his sour mood.
I decided to head to bed.
I fulfilled the promise we had made to each other,
to look out for one another
as sister and brother.
The shower ran for a while,
but eventually, I heard him creak up the steps
and took comfort in the fact
that tonight, he came home.

Early the next morning,
in the darkness of dawn,
I stumbled down the stairs to clean up for the day.
I turned on the TV and watched the news.
Another ****** occurred in the area.
I'm convinced it's a demon with unbiased prey.
The channel rolls on.
A car similar to ours was abandoned on the scene.
What was I seeing?
I was just exhausted for the time being.
It must be from the little sleep I got.
He would've never driven so recklessly
and leave the car behind,
only to walk all the way home.

The coffee I had started wasn't finished,
and the casserole I was baking wouldn't be done in time.
I decided to take a shower to clear my head.
I opened the bathroom door, closed for an odd reason,
for we never shut the door,
and was greeted by a scene of red.
The marble sink covered in the handprints of blood.
The white, tiled walls stained and spotted.
A stench rising from the clothes that laid on the floor, knotted,
and in the shower, streaks of red on the bottom.
I covered my mouth in an attempt to stop the scream
coming from the fear boiling inside of me.
Tears streamed from my face.
What did my brother do when he got home?

I took a step back
into my brother's arms.
He pushed me into the cursed room
and jammed the door shut so I couldn't escape.
I fell into the shower, into the pool of dyed water,
and cried from the anticipation of my impending doom.
What was that look in his eyes?
The very thing of which I was so afraid,
looming in the shade
of his humanity's fade?
When had he strayed so far away
and became that way
to allow the devil to reside in his heart?
What had he let into our home?

A few days passed.  I drank from the shower
and rationed what was left of the toothpaste
until one day, my mind snapped.
I couldn't stand remaining in this torturous space
scarred by the blood of someone else.
I no longer wished to be trapped.
I slammed into the door, once, twice,
and the third try it opened,
slightly broken,
and crashed against the wall before closing.
My brother was nowhere to be found,
yet his room, forbidden, was locked somehow.
I broke it open and found a second scene,
a body bleeding out on the floor of my home.

I fell to my knees and wept into my hands,
coated in the blood of my brother.
The knife protruded from his head.
Sirens pulled up to the apartment
and police rushed inside the house I once loved.
they pulled me away from my brother, dead.
I refused to go, so instead, I screamed.
I cried and sobbed loudly.
I couldn't just leave,
so I clung hopelessly to my brother's sleeve.
They demanded me to release him, but I hugged him in my arms.
I couldn't let them take him away too.
I grabbed the knife and felt a pain in my chest,
and collapsed into the darkness enshrouding my home.

Do you feel it?
The disease eating away at your heart?
It slumps in decay and filth,
black with rot and throbbing to the beat of the maggots.
It never starts this way, though.
It grows from the innocence of childhood
into the monster that is truth.

Everyone is planted with a seed
doomed to sprout and overtake them.
It consumes our heart, the gateway to our soul,
and spreads its rot to others.
Eventually, we all end up wilted,
limp with the pain emanating
from every fiber of our beings.

Life is silly that way.
It's a puzzle in every aspect of the word.
You try to finish only to realize
you're missing a single piece.
And as you search for it upon the ground,
everything else begins to crumble.
If left alone, it will atrophy away
and vanish as if it never existed.

They asked why I wanted to commit suicide.
I twisted their words and asked them the same thing.
Is there any point in living?

They said I play a role in the world.
I wondered whether or not the universe was wrong
or if I was always meant to be in pain.

They said I had a family that loved me.
I asked if bruises and burns were signs of their love.

They said I had friends who depended on me.
I asked if friends steal your food and money.
Were friends supposed to put me down
and treat me like the trash I am?

They said I had something to live for.
I inquired as to what that could be.

They said they cared about me.
I called out their desperate attempt to stop me.
Did you care about me before you knew anything?
Are you just saying sweet things to get close to me
only to leave me behind like the rest?

They said everyone makes mistakes.
I told them, the only mistake in my life
was existing in the first place.

I explained the paradigm I discovered.
Those who feel the most pain
have the darkest hearts.
Once it's all rotten and wilted,
the monster takes over and shows them the truth.
The only meaning in life
is death.

Everything is made only to die.
We serve no true purpose,
just existing to cease existing.
A never-ending cycle I wanted no part of.

They refuted my claim, but I could see
they were still searching for that lost puzzle piece.
Purpose.
They thought it had fallen when in reality,
it was never placed in the box.

They said I was mistaken.
They were right.
Living was a mistake.

I wish I were a tree,
to be able to stand tall,
to be strong yet flexible,
and go with the flow of the wind.
To be rooted in the earth,
but reach for the sky
and hold it in my arms.

I wish I were a tree.
One to roll with the punches,
embrace the changes.
To be broken
and stand back up.
To heal my scars
and grow stronger from the pain.

I wish I were a tree
that could brave the storm.
To look it in the eye
and tell it I would survive.
Then take on its wrath
and wait for it to clear,
emerging victorious.

I wish I were a tree
that could gaze down from above.
Observing life
as a part of its majesty.
To give something back.
To have a purpose
and be worth something.

I wish I were a tree.
To make my mark in time.
To be a symbol of strength.
To inspire life in others.
Giving to them shade,
protection from above.

I wish I were a tree,
not a fragile human being
That gets hurt and cannot stand.
That will never reach the stars
and cry from fear of the thunder
of the impending storm.
Who will never have a purpose
or amount to anything.

A person like me
who gets trampled by change
and crushed by expectations
can only have a dream
they can never reach.
Who is broken
and remains that way.

A fickle entity
existing in a breath of time,
causing harm to those around me,
and counting my unhealed wounds.
Solving problems of the past.
Weak in the presence of power.
One to get lost in the storm
and never return.

How I wish I were a tree,
but I’m just a human being.

The death gods breathed upon the earth
Sending upon us the winter most despise
The cold devoured all of the life
of every living thing in their abode

It ate into the people and creatures of the land
freezing all in its expanding domain
The world hung in melancholy suspension
As the universe itself began to slow

Such fragile beings of finite existence
Enshrouded by tendrils of ice
and blanketed by the climbing frost
Unable to escape the prevailing cold

The frigid force conquered all in its wake
Taking everyone hostage in its glacial arms
and giving some to the death gods
whenever their fangs showed

But the lasting winter kingdom was doomed to fall
As it did every year before
And spring fell onto the earth
to melt away the ghastly cold

Gone and replaced by the warm sun
the cold was disdained and forgotten
Its true meaning lost in time
only known by the gods of old

The cold brought rebirth, a chance to restart
It takes life but gives back much more
a sense of belonging to those of this world
as life was given back through melting snow

It takes some, yes, but instills in others
a will, a desire for more than to survive
But still, it is hated by most of the world
Its reason of being forever unknown

You sent me to the earthly world on a mission.
To save all those I possibly could.
To protect humanity from Lucifer's hands
and save all of those who are good.

I'm sorry to say, I have failed You.
I've given up on all hope.
The only thing that can save them
is the forgiveness you have shown.

At first, I had faith, and I saved many.
But over time, it grew hard to work.
And as soon as I'd save one,
ten others would end up getting hurt.
The demons running rampant on the earthly world below
have destroyed everything sacred and taken a new form.
Their disguise is flawless and fooled even my eyes.
They are now the humans who continue to harm.

I couldn't understand it,
all the evil in human hearts.
But I soon found out
it was the demons tearing them apart.
The humans let them in and slowly watched as they grew.
They are working with Satan against everything You do.
I was disgusted by my discovery and tried to finish your work.
I lied to myself.  But as I went on, I knew it to be true.

It was time to get my hands *****.
I began killing those who'd known.
And something in me grew.
It infected every bone.
I could feel a fire in me as it devoured my senses.
It made me feel invincible as I killed the greatest sinners.
I felt no remorse.  Besides, this is what You wanted.
And I became known as the Demon Killer.

I realized the work ahead of me
and returned to heaven.
But they wouldn't let me in
because I was too human.
Forgiveness, they told me, was Your most gracious love
You gave to the humans and those who needed it most.
They took away everything from me and sent me back to Earth,
While criticizing my actions and banishing me from my home.

They deemed me a fallen saint,
an angel with stubbed wings.
I'd descended into darkness
and they abandoned me in my suffering.
I grew angry with their decision and kept working the way I did.
Killing all the sinners and wrongdoers of this land.
You sent after me angels, the ones who were my friends.
But You made me become a demon, and they were slain by my hand.

Then, the darkness I was fighting crept into my soul
and ate from inside me the last of my righteousness.
I saw the light flicker away and disappear from my life.
But I knew my actions would be rewarded for my perseverance.
Madness overtook me and evil coursed through my blood.
Satan had taken me, an angel, and made me one of is kind.
I hated myself for what I had done, and what I continued to do.
But there was no other way to save them that I could find.

The pain dragged me down;
it plunged me into Hell.
And I became trapped
in my shrinking cell.
It didn't make sense.  Nothing did.  And nothing ever would.
This pain was too much for me; this evil burning through my flesh.
I searched desperately for an answer to the problems plaguing me,
but I found none.  Unless...

I had already found the answer.
The solution to my pain.
Though I saw it a different way
until I went insane.
Death was the answer.  I was right all along.
Other humans had come up with it before me.
I can't handle the weight of sin.  I doubt I ever could.
But this answer is the only way to be free.

The blood on my hands
stained the stairs I climbed.
Higher and higher
as my past was left behind.
And out here on the edge
overlooking this cruel, doomed existence,
I ask You a single question,
my last ounce of resistance.

The birds have abandoned their songs
and here I am testing fate.
I let go of this world
and of everything I hate.

My question...

Here I am, a human,
an angel with stubbed wings,
fighting with God
and Satan, the Demon King.
I know what I've done wrong
and I'm sorry about it all.
But I want to experience forgiveness
before jumping off this wall.

So...

Will you catch me if I cannot fly,
or will you watch me die?

Every breath                 you take,
you steal from me.  Every look you give
keeps me guessing.  Every sound you make
causes my heart to beat.  Every kiss we
share is a divine gift.  Every moment
with you is a blessing.  Every time
you touch me, you put me
under your spell.
Breathless.
Silence.
Love.

Left on the side of the curb, I watch as glamoured figures march up the steps
I, myself, dressed in an attired elaborate gown to complement my necklace and stark red lips
and eyes
tired from crying
cracked

Leaving the dance, a tall man in a tailored grey suit and tie,
unaware or avoiding me, passes me by
The rain drizzles, waltzing on the pavement and my face
A shadow covers me as the rain stops
Applauding the rain, the thunder claps

Bending down and lifting me, you carry me to your fancy car
and lay me, exhausted, across the seat, covering me with that large coat of yours
Awaking in an unfamiliar room
but strangely unafraid knowing you had brought me here
entirely calm with the knowledge you are near

Walking in with your beautiful charm
I sob heavily as you hug me in your arms
I fall into your warm shirt, crying into your shoulder
You run your fingers through my hair
whispering candied words into my ear

Passions overtake me as I grab your head for a kiss
You roll with me under the covers, a divine bliss
To others, I'm just another pretty face
another porcelain doll to smash on the ground
or tossed away and never found

Boys and men like dolls too.
But I'm not a doll when I'm with you
not another pretty face in the crowd
I am yours, with all my heart, soul and body
My love for you shall never cease

Somehow, I fell in love with a single kiss, your gentle hands caressing my chest
I pull you closer to me, fully obsessed
enthralled by your intense gaze, lustful like others
I stare into them with wonder

Different than the normal man, you captured me with your first glance
that fateful night not long ago by the steps of the dance
this is what love is, inescapable, overwhelming
I need you in my life forever; if only time would stop for us
To stay in your comforting embrace, the only one I trust

I'll be a doll any other time, just not now at this moment
and never with you near my vision's extent
My cracks have healed, my eyes are no longer red
I'll just lie here in your bed
brimmed with joyous love