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Grey Mar 2021
Actual rest is a dream I long for,
Everytime I close my eyes and drift away.
I am met by the mirror,
This mirror becomes a screen of replays
The pain i put her through,
I am growing now and learning to become a better person and asking for forgiveness
Yet I am still met nightly by this same recurrence
My soul forbids me to forget,
Betrayed by my own soul, I am tormented
Burst into reality, I sometimes awake to throwing up and cold sweats.
Will this ever end...
Grey Feb 2021
I do not believe that anyone could love someone with mental illness.
Either we feel too much or not enough at all.
Either we're sleeping too much,
Daydreaming
Eating too much or not at all
The nightmares or night terrors
The days you cant feel emotion, or when you feel it all
No I do not believe anyone could love someone with mental illness
Any attempt and you cant be discarded and forgotten like you never existed
Its all a lie.
The only truth is that everyone is selfish and will never truly love another
Failed attempts with people that "love" me
Grey Dec 2020
“I’ll be there to pick up the pieces”
The most terrifying sentence I have ever heard,
It pierced my soul
The words that came from you,
The hurt in your voice.
And how I shut you out trying to make her happy
When I never spoke to you, my best friend
What nobody understands is that there’s a darkness growing inside
I sit alone in the early morning hours,
That darkness brings a smile to my face.
I love you
But I’m no good for you
Or anyone
I feel it inside me,
Just a pitch black angry and emptiness
It comes out,
And it scared you
Tonight, like so many other nights
It’s me against the devil himself
We sit in the dark hours,
The quiet abyss.
Laughing at the pain
Completely gone
Nobody can save me now.
I sold my soul to devil when I stopped talking to you,
The one who’s there to pick up the pieces
And I’m fighting,
Every night
To be here
For the next day, to see your smile
I love you
But the battle in my mind is never ending
Grey Nov 2020
One day, I’ll stop writing
One day, I’ll stop dreaming
One day, I’ll stop believing
One day, I’ll stop hoping
One day, I’ll stop trying
One day there will be no more poems written by me
And there won’t be anymore pain
One day I’ll be gone
Maybe it’s today
Grey Aug 2020
Fear, the one resort that everyone tries to use as their strength
I find it amusing, the tough act
Little do you know, the demons that reside in my head smile too
Rather than drowning those dark voices inside, you succumb to them and the comfort they bring is no other
Some say I’m a freak, the liar, the betrayer and dangerous
In my mind, their feeble attempt that falls short every time is amusing
It’s the demons that visit in the dark and monstrous thoughts that haunt me
Not fear for myself, fear of what those can do
The words that will pierce razor sharp words to their fragile egos
The laughter that makes them uncomfortable, on edge
You can’t scare a person like me, your little words float away
I’ve grown from the weak child
I shake hands with the devil himself
I am madness, I am insanity
I’m a state of mind of its own
I could break you, leave you withered and questioning God himself
I’ve been numerous names throughout my lifetime
A son of the Devil himself, evil incarnate
Evil, an interesting word. A summary only
The pain I cause others is sin, and yet a part of my blackened soul feels sorrow
I may born of a dark past, i may have lived a broken life
I’m a ******* son with a demonic temper
Who’s learning to be human, and become a good person
I’m a ******* son of the world searching for redemption
Do you ever just feel out of place your entire life? And when people try to intimidate you, all you can do is laugh because they don’t know how much **** you’ve gone through and nothing can hurt you anymore
  Feb 2019 Grey
haysia
...
"You look at her the way I look at you
And it kills me, a little
."
Grey Apr 2018
We were reckless and fury
We were beaten and broken
We were rebels and leaders
We were young and fierce
We were demons and saviors
We were carefree and dreamers
We were wolves and wild
We were family not forgotten

In time the memories will bring us back
In time we will run free once more
In time we meet again to remember
In time there will be smiles and laughs
A group of misfits and dreamers. A pack.
The Shadow Pack.
Pack Fam.
Boy do I miss them, I miss them all. Hopefully in time we can all get together again

— The End —